Romance and time-how is romance different now?

Use this forum to discuss the June 2018 Book of the Month"The Girl Who Knew da Vinci" by Belle Ami
Post Reply
User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Re: Romance and time-how is romance different now?

Post by kfwilson6 » 24 Jun 2018, 14:32

AWANDO OGUTU wrote:
24 Jun 2018, 07:53
For all I can remember, there is little difference between today's romance and that of the 1960s. Romance still largely remains one sided with expectations on men to be romantic in all scenarios.
Gender expectations do seem to be largely the same. Men are expected to ask women out, bring flowers and candy on a whim, plan dates, and propose marriage. Women are the pursued. But women have been more empowered to have more equality in the pursuit of relationships. Its not really that odd for a woman to be the first to express interest in a relationship.

User avatar
bookowlie
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 7739
Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
2017 Reading Goal: 52
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 50
Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 322
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
Latest Review: Norman by Michelle Olson

Post by bookowlie » 24 Jun 2018, 15:43

I think romance is easier in today's world because there aren't as many restrictions in society. In previous eras, it was harder to marry or even date someone of a different religion, racial, or ethnic group.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship" - Louisa May Alcott

User avatar
MiziS_1305
Posts: 99
Joined: 10 Mar 2018, 08:28
2018 Reading Goal: 8
2017 Reading Goal: 0
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 212
Favorite Book: The Lost Symbol
Currently Reading: Toni the Superhero
Bookshelf Size: 21
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mizis-1305.html
Latest Review: The Watchmaker’s Doctor by G. M. T. Schuilling

Post by MiziS_1305 » 26 Jun 2018, 00:29

Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.

User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Post by kfwilson6 » 26 Jun 2018, 12:13

MiziS_1305 wrote:
26 Jun 2018, 00:29
Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
It seems like love was almost a result of "business arrangements." People were lucky to find love within an arranged marriage or some type of planned marriage where the couple married for financial gain. Now people commonly mistake lust for love. I think this is part of the reason divorce rates are so high. In previous decades divorce was not so common and much more difficult. People were expected to follow through on their marriage vows for life.

Also, love (or lust mistaken for love) is the foundation of long-term relationships and marriage.

User avatar
CaitlinGonya
Posts: 370
Joined: 01 Sep 2017, 15:45
2018 Reading Goal: 75
2017 Reading Goal: 20
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 56
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 85
Currently Reading: Heart of Iron
Bookshelf Size: 76
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-caitlingonya.html
Latest Review: Serendipity Mystery by R.F. Kristi

Post by CaitlinGonya » 26 Jun 2018, 19:40

I think the romance is somewhat lost nowadays. I agree with others here that the couple's seemed more lust driven than romantic. I also believe that each time period depended on the outward circumstances, like Sophia and Gerhard being caught in a war. These things tend to heighten one's emotions. I know my husband and I seemed to move very fast but we also had circumstances beyond our control. Now he does little things to make up for that time, like writing me a letter and leaving it in one of my books.

User avatar
greenstripedgiraffe
Posts: 795
Joined: 22 Oct 2015, 10:47
Currently Reading: Heart of anger
Bookshelf Size: 252
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-greenstripedgiraffe.html
Latest Review: The Munich Girl by Phyllis Edgerly Ring

Post by greenstripedgiraffe » 27 Jun 2018, 12:18

That is another strange lack of depth in this book. Each couple's story was basically identical :D I think things would have definitely happened differently in different centuries. However, the idea of a forbidden love could have been much more meaningful back when marriages were arranged, or done for convenience...
"no one down here" --- Up the Down Staircase

User avatar
mcfeealexis
Posts: 30
Joined: 16 Jan 2018, 19:17
Currently Reading: #Nerd
Bookshelf Size: 19
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mcfeealexis.html
Latest Review: Island Games by Caleb J. Boyer

Post by mcfeealexis » 29 Jun 2018, 10:38

I think romance is different now because of the values that people hold. In older generation people had different values that they would look for when it came to a relationship with someone else. Also I think entertainment has also given people a different idea of what romance and being in love is like.

User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Post by kfwilson6 » 29 Jun 2018, 11:05

mcfeealexis wrote:
29 Jun 2018, 10:38
I think romance is different now because of the values that people hold. In older generation people had different values that they would look for when it came to a relationship with someone else. Also I think entertainment has also given people a different idea of what romance and being in love is like.
Wow, this is very insightful and so true!!! I even catch myself making the mistake of thinking my marriage should be a certain way, not necessarily because I saw it in a movie or read it in a book so I think it's reality, but more because I saw or read it and thought "that's how I want my relationship to be." Romance stories especially can set the bar high for relationships. We rarely ever see what comes after the "happily ever after." The screaming baby at 3am, handling holidays with in-laws who live in two different states, arguing about where to eat for dinner ;)

With all of that said, I am not using Alex and Angela has a benchmark although I'm sure my husband would be appreciative if I had the passion for him that Angela displays for Alex. But hey, real-life is exhausting. Alex and Angela may not be phased by international travel, attempts on their lives, and random feinting spells but I think most of us would be pretty exhausted.

User avatar
bookowlie
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 7739
Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
2017 Reading Goal: 52
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 50
Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 322
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
Latest Review: Norman by Michelle Olson

Post by bookowlie » 29 Jun 2018, 12:32

greenstripedgiraffe wrote:
27 Jun 2018, 12:18
That is another strange lack of depth in this book. Each couple's story was basically identical :D I think things would have definitely happened differently in different centuries. However, the idea of a forbidden love could have been much more meaningful back when marriages were arranged, or done for convenience...
Actually, I thought the couples' stories were different. Fioretta and Giuliano's love was not acceptable because the constraints of him belonging to a powerful family and being promised to another woman. With Sophia and Gerhard, he was a Nazi officer and they were escaping; in particular, he was going AWOL from the Nazi army. Two different plotlines, in my opinion.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship" - Louisa May Alcott

User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Post by kfwilson6 » 29 Jun 2018, 17:11

Sophia and Gerhard's love, in general, wasn't forbidden, while Fioretta and Giuliano's was. The circumstances each couple found themselves in was pretty different, even their endings were different with one couple both dying, one couple losing one person, and one couple just beginning a relationship and a life together.

User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Post by kfwilson6 » 29 Jun 2018, 17:13

MiziS_1305 wrote:
26 Jun 2018, 00:29
Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
Can you pinpoint specific areas in which you think romance has remained the same across time? I just see so many differences, I'm curious as to what you think hasn't changed.

User avatar
bookowlie
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 7739
Joined: 25 Oct 2014, 09:52
2017 Reading Goal: 52
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 50
Favorite Book: The Lost Continent
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 322
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookowlie.html
Latest Review: Norman by Michelle Olson

Post by bookowlie » 29 Jun 2018, 17:38

kfwilson6 wrote:
29 Jun 2018, 17:11
Sophia and Gerhard's love, in general, wasn't forbidden, while Fioretta and Giuliano's was. The circumstances each couple found themselves in was pretty different, even their endings were different with one couple both dying, one couple losing one person, and one couple just beginning a relationship and a life together.
In a way, Sophia and Gerhard were living secretly in the sense that he was living under an alias and was a former Nazi officer. I can't imagine that would have gone over well with her family.
"I am not afraid of storms, for I am learning how to sail my ship" - Louisa May Alcott

User avatar
kfwilson6
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1965
Joined: 14 Feb 2018, 15:30
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 96
Currently Reading: The dandelion bouquet
Bookshelf Size: 292
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kfwilson6.html
Latest Review: The Invisible Realm by Evelyn Louise Dunbar-Webb
Reading Device: B00JG8GOWU

Post by kfwilson6 » 29 Jun 2018, 18:33

We don't have to worry about Alex and Angela keeping their relationship secret from their families. They were ready to tie the knot and do the whole meet the parents thing. That is one aspect of romance/relationships that prevails. The couple almost always wants approval from their family of their choice in significant other.

420waystoreachthesun
Posts: 200
Joined: 20 Mar 2018, 11:47
Currently Reading: Bomb Goggles
Bookshelf Size: 50
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-420waystoreachthesun.html
Latest Review: The Complete Thief Series: Boxed Set by Michael Dirubio

Post by 420waystoreachthesun » 29 Jun 2018, 23:47

I agree with Linsaysherlock. It is far better than it used to be. There is no doubt about that. People need to accept that and move on. This constant sense of nostalgia that pervades society is a bit toxic. Things weren't better before.

User avatar
Cristal2408
Posts: 53
Joined: 26 Apr 2018, 17:06
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 39
Favorite Book: Magic Shifts
Currently Reading: El honor perdido de Katharina Blum
Bookshelf Size: 463
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-cristal2408.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin
Reading Device: B00TSUGXKE

Post by Cristal2408 » 30 Jun 2018, 01:57

kfwilson6 wrote:
29 Jun 2018, 17:13
MiziS_1305 wrote:
26 Jun 2018, 00:29
Romance has always been the same irrespective of time periods. What differs is lust. I just feel that now there is more lust in a relationship than love.
Can you pinpoint specific areas in which you think romance has remained the same across time? I just see so many differences, I'm curious as to what you think hasn't changed.
While I really see the differences, I think MiziS_1305 may be right too. Lust is about the sexualization we see nowadays, which has definitely changed in the past years. But romance has always been about giving attention, admiration, caring for one's partner, giving and receiving happiness, helping the other, etc. Lust refers to how showing an ankle in 1800 had the same effect as showing your underwear today.
It's no use to go back to yesterday... I was a different person then.---Lewis Carrol from Alice in Wonderland

Post Reply

Return to “Discuss "The Girl Who Knew da Vinci" by Belle Ami”