What could you tell her?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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bigirimanacelestin
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What could you tell her?

Post by bigirimanacelestin » 14 Apr 2018, 10:46

After all hardishps that Natalie faced, for her step father and all works she did to protect her mother and her siblings; what could you tell her or someone like her if you has a chance to meet her? What could you tell either Alex or Natalie's mother?
“There is no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you.”
― Maya Angelou

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Post by Jamasenu » 14 Apr 2018, 21:03

bigirimanacelestin wrote:
14 Apr 2018, 10:46
After all hardishps that Natalie faced, for her step father and all works she did to protect her mother and her siblings; what could you tell her or someone like her if you has a chance to meet her? What could you tell either Alex or Natalie's mother?
I would tell Natalie that I'm so proud that she didn't allow her circumstances to determine her future. Also, she's a real survivor and could help others with her story. I would tell her, her inner strength, drive and belief in herself makes her a beautiful young woman.

For Alex: Provoking your children to anger is a sin in God's eyes. You have demoralized your entire family because of your short comings, failures, and insecurities. Being a bully is nothing. Being a man is to earn respect, love, and appreciation from your family. You have destroyed all three.

For Irma: You lost your self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth. You allowed your older kids step-father to verbally and physically abuse them. Why? Because you didn't think you had any choice in the matter. Is this how you wish to live the rest of your life? It may not be too late....
To survive, you must tell stories.
― Umberto Eco, The Island of the Day Before

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Post by Kibetious » 15 Apr 2018, 13:35

That she did a good job and that some behaviour would not have to be tolerated. Her mother probably would have not been in a position to protech but the step father would receive some rebukes.
​​​​​​He gives strength to those who are tired; to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy :techie-studyinggray:

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Post by Kibetious » 15 Apr 2018, 13:37

Jamasenu wrote:
14 Apr 2018, 21:03
bigirimanacelestin wrote:
14 Apr 2018, 10:46
After all hardishps that Natalie faced, for her step father and all works she did to protect her mother and her siblings; what could you tell her or someone like her if you has a chance to meet her? What could you tell either Alex or Natalie's mother?
I would tell Natalie that I'm so proud that she didn't allow her circumstances to determine her future. Also, she's a real survivor and could help others with her story. I would tell her, her inner strength, drive and belief in herself makes her a beautiful young woman.

For Alex: Provoking your children to anger is a sin in God's eyes. You have demoralized your entire family because of your short comings, failures, and insecurities. Being a bully is nothing. Being a man is to earn respect, love, and appreciation from your family. You have destroyed all three.

For Irma: You lost your self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth. You allowed your older kids step-father to verbally and physically abuse them. Why? Because you didn't think you had any choice in the matter. Is this how you wish to live the rest of your life? It may not be too late....
Wow, nice story words here. They are really well deserved by all the three characters.
​​​​​​He gives strength to those who are tired; to the ones who lack power, he gives renewed energy :techie-studyinggray:

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Post by maggiechap » 15 Apr 2018, 17:41

I actually kind of said all this recently to someone and it didn't go so well, but it was something like this: your past doesn't define who you are. Your actions today determine what people see in you now and from here out. If you live by anger and hate, people will see nothing but anger and hate in you and the same is true for compassion. You may always have questions about what's happened in the past, but that is between you and the person that hurt you, no one else's business and you have to be okay with the possibility of never finding the answers you want, or the possibility you might not hear what you want when you do get them. How you react to all of that is on you and no one else.

I feel like all three of them, even Natalie, need to hear that because a lot of their actions were really reactions to each other (Yes, even Irma).

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Post by Jamasenu » 15 Apr 2018, 20:56

Kibetious wrote:
15 Apr 2018, 13:37
Jamasenu wrote:
14 Apr 2018, 21:03
bigirimanacelestin wrote:
14 Apr 2018, 10:46
After all hardishps that Natalie faced, for her step father and all works she did to protect her mother and her siblings; what could you tell her or someone like her if you has a chance to meet her? What could you tell either Alex or Natalie's mother?
I would tell Natalie that I'm so proud that she didn't allow her circumstances to determine her future. Also, she's a real survivor and could help others with her story. I would tell her, her inner strength, drive and belief in herself makes her a beautiful young woman.

For Alex: Provoking your children to anger is a sin in God's eyes. You have demoralized your entire family because of your short comings, failures, and insecurities. Being a bully is nothing. Being a man is to earn respect, love, and appreciation from your family. You have destroyed all three.

For Irma: You lost your self-respect, self-esteem, and self-worth. You allowed your older kids step-father to verbally and physically abuse them. Why? Because you didn't think you had any choice in the matter. Is this how you wish to live the rest of your life? It may not be too late....
Wow, nice story words here. They are really well deserved by all the three characters.
Thanks.....
To survive, you must tell stories.
― Umberto Eco, The Island of the Day Before

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Post by rusalka » 16 Apr 2018, 03:47

I would tell Natalie that she did a good job, a job no one should expect of her to do or be able to handle, and that she is incredibly strong. Additionally, someone should offer her a nice big hug and some help in dealing with the leftover trauma, she deserves it, as well as the other children!

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Post by mtsnel006 » 16 Apr 2018, 07:26

I would tell Natalie that she is a strong brave girl, and it takes courage to do what she has done. She is amazing and is the fire-burning queen.

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Post by bb587 » 16 Apr 2018, 08:34

"Natalie, stay strong. Always be true to yourself but remember there are always consequences for your actions."

"Alex, being the man of the family means being responsible for everyone. Do what's best for your family and not just for yourself. Take responsibility for your actions, stop bullying others to prove your dominance, and stop numbing yourself with alcohol."

"Irma, you know what's right and wrong. Stop second guessing your decisions. You are not property. Stop acting like your opinions don't matter."

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Post by FilmStar » 16 Apr 2018, 10:55

I feel like I wouldn't talk to Alex since what I would say is what Natalie's mother already told him that he needs help with his alcoholism. But an angry drunk is not someone to talk to. I would tell Natalie to think for herself. If she has a chance to escape, escape. And to tell the police about Alex being abusive and squandering their money away. I would tell Natalie's mother to leave Alex and to think more of her children than herself.

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Post by Uche Balogun » 16 Apr 2018, 17:55

I would tell Natalie that I'm impressed by and proud of the way she worked through the many problems in her life, but to try harder not to live her life as a reaction to other people's wickedness and inadequacies.

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Post by RebeccasReading » 16 Apr 2018, 18:01

It's so important to be able to tell people that they are more than their circumstances. People tend to feel trapped with the hand they were dealt, but they are not defined by that hand. They have the capability to create a new set of circumstances for themselves.

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Post by SkyeDragon » 20 Apr 2018, 17:07

I would tell her she is a strong young lady and that it is ok to feel the way she does. I would encourage her to tell her story so she could help others know they are not alone.

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Post by rs1977 » 20 Apr 2018, 20:35

I would tell Natalie that she is a strong girl and kudos to her bravery
under the trying circumstances. Yes, a person is more than the
circumstances and Natalie's fight is really appreciated.

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Post by marcmoise2300 » 20 Apr 2018, 20:47

I would tell Natalie that she's an inspiration. After going through difficult situations, we sometimes live as though we are bound by what we went through and we can never truly move on with our lives. The character in this book proves otherwise. Our past is the past for a reason because there's always going to be tomorrow, there's always going to be a new day. Things can always change, we can always change and Natalie proved that.

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