Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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6912dirtyfeet
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Re: Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Post by 6912dirtyfeet » 12 Apr 2018, 13:22

Being 16 and then becoming an adult does not make what natlie and mr grover did right. When in a marriage one should be commited and faithful after all there has to be something that still keeps you married.

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Post by folkshot » 13 Apr 2018, 11:26

I don't think she needs to justify her love for him. She fell in love with him and that was that. Sure, it's never great to become involved with someone who is already taken, but I don't think justification is needed, or could be achieved. How do any of us justify love?

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Post by daynacrist35 » 14 Apr 2018, 13:05

I wouldn't say her actions were justifyable, more like understandable. She was a young 16 year old going through changes not to mention the physical and emotional abuse already in her home. She felt love and even knowing it was wrong, gave into the temtations. I found it very odd everyone was okay with it including his wife at the end though.

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Post by 6912dirtyfeet » 15 Apr 2018, 03:05

At 16 do we even know anything bout real love we think so jut like Natalie did. Who we fall in love with is not a choice we plan it just happens. Natalie let her feelings guide her heart, because it was with a married man is the only thing she should be concerned with because she will not be able to change how she feels cause she is in love. Love is hard to find so when Natalie found it she let her heart be a guide.

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Post by KitabuKitamu » 15 Apr 2018, 03:49

Natalie's Love must have been blind. It must have been blind to Mrs Grover's attachment to her Husband.

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Post by cpru68 » 15 Apr 2018, 16:06

Natalie found love from a man who took an interest in her and made her feel special. Isn't this the typical age-old outcome of what happens when a girl is abused? I have watched enough Dr. Phil and have heard him say it. I know that not everyone is going to follow this line of behavior, but according to what psychologists have studied and seen in practices throughout the years, a girl who is abused will find love and often times a person who abuses her in the same way. Can we really say that Natalie found true love though? She doesn't get the opportunity to marry, raise kids if she wants and live free. She is still living somewhat in the byproduct of her abuse even at the end. I don't know if there is a justification in it for her, but rather, it is what she is accustomed to in life.
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Post by Vlinstry » 18 Apr 2018, 05:11

Being overwhelmed by ones feelings is an easy thing to happen. Once you have acted on those feelings it can be all the more difficult to go back on it. It will drag you in deeper and, if the feelings of love are true, then something will always hold you there. She may have believed that what she did was wrong but she may have been unable to control her actions regardless of that.

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Post by Ebonez_nahmi » 18 Apr 2018, 07:06

Love is not just a feeling. It involves the will. Sometimes we desire what we cannot have and it's the job of the will to control the emotions of love. Natalie should never have let herself desire what she couldn't have, but failing that, she could also have controlled her desires by choosing to do what's right regardless of how it would make her suffer.

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Post by crediblereading2 » 18 Apr 2018, 08:08

What Natalie did was wrong but it is justifiable by the fact that most times young persons do not understand the gravity of decisions they make.

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Post by Farmgurl1 » 18 Apr 2018, 10:15

I think it's just an excuse to say because she was so in love she couldn't control herself. Willpower is the act of controlling your behavior. Mrs. Glover was a great friend and mentor to Natalie. She felt guilty for her relationship with Mr. Glover but continued on despite her feelings that she was wrong in her actions. Mr. Glover is even worse in this situation, because he took advantage of a 16 year old girl and betrayed his marriage vows.

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Post by Chanti Stargirl » 19 Apr 2018, 03:34

Feelings never need to be justified because they are just emotions. Emotions are generally irrational and very hard to control. Once an emotion has been felt, however, you get to choose how to respond to it.

Natalie chose to respond to her feelings in an morally questionable way but Mr Glover was involved as well. A relationship is a two-way street. Natalie could not have stolen Mr Glover if he did not want to be stolen.

In today's day and age we have a lot of unhappy marriages and affairs that happen because of the unhappiness. If Mr Glover had been happy in his marriage would he have made the same choices? Have you considered the part Mrs Glover played in his choice to have an affair?

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Post by SkyeDragon » 20 Apr 2018, 02:55

I believe that how someone feels is not the issue, but it is how they act upon the feelings that matter. You can be attracted to someone rather they are married or not, but you do not have to act on those feeling. Someone once said to me feelings are just that, it is how you act on the feelings that make it right or wrong.

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Post by Haute_Coffee » 20 Apr 2018, 07:33

Considering that Natalie was starved for affection and attention, particularly from an older male model, it’s no surprise. She was a teenager. I don’t think you can or need to justify who you love.

As for acting on it and having an affair behind her mentor’s back? THAT was hard to take, and unjustified to me.

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Post by Litzy reader » 20 Apr 2018, 22:24

First, we can't say she stole someone's husband. Because the man new what he was doing. But still, what she did was unethical and unjustifiable, because someone else is getting hurt because of her actions.

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Post by Raya raymond » 21 Apr 2018, 06:54

I think her feelings are very easily justifiable because we can't choose who we love even if he's a married man. I wouldn't judge her for acting based on her feelings; after all' it's neither right nor wrong, thinking makes it so.

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