Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Cate Mbevi
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Re: Was there any way Natalie could justify her feelings for a married man?

Post by Cate Mbevi » 01 May 2018, 13:31

It will never be right to fall for a married man however I do not blame Natalie. I blame love. Most of the time we are desperately in need of someone to love us and if this person is the wrong one,then we are not to be blamed.

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Post by rik17 » 01 May 2018, 23:11

I feel justification comes from the fact that there was already a crevice in the married couple's relationship. An external element only exacerbated it. But it was always there. Otherwise there would have been no space for her to get in between.

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Post by pauloadebisi1 » 02 May 2018, 04:58

Well Natalie might have misconception, but she can't be blame when love seems to be involved.

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Post by mumoscar » 02 May 2018, 07:02

To have feelings for the opposite gender is normal and human. Yes! For being a human she is justified. However, when it come to self-control, I think she may not be justified to have the feelings controlling her life.

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Post by Ginnamassa19 » 02 May 2018, 10:17

While I think it was understandable why Natalie got involved with a married man, I don't think it can be justified, if that's the word we're using.

Of course love is love and you can't help who you fall for, and Natalie did not actually have an idea of what constituted a functional relationship and couldn't really be blamed for fixating on an older man who seemed like he could be everything she was looking for in a guy. But in the end, it's really a question of whether you can VS whether you should. And Natalie probably shouldn't have.

As many others have pointed out, it wasn't all Natalie's fault, because it was every bit Mrs Grover's husband's decision as Natalie's, and as an adult he should definitely have been the more responsible one and not gone through with it, but well. It happened.

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Post by Richiepsr » 03 May 2018, 07:36

What Natalia Did Was UnEthnical Bt Lets Ask Ourselves What Attracted Mrs Glover's Husband To This Lil Girl N Besides She Was Just A Teenager That Means There's Something She Has Dat Mrs Glover Does'nt Portray

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Post by amy1825 » 03 May 2018, 08:28

I think there is no way to ignore or hide feelings, or even control them for that matter. I do however, believe you can and should control your actions. So yes, I do feel that she can justify her feelings. However, she needs to learn to live with loving someone that she can never be with.

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Post by Oluwasanmi Sele » 03 May 2018, 11:28

Love can be magical and It intoxicates. So, real and undisguised love go in inexplicable actions, feelings and weird display of emotions and romance.

Therefore, Nathalie, though an adult may not be able to justify her actions or feelings. Because love as a sweetening of the soul is given fragrance by romance.
It stupifies, as if It were given some opium to it.

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Post by Lu_rire » 03 May 2018, 11:35

I do not blame Natalie. One often cannot choose who one falls in love with. And Natalie despite her numerous strengths was likely seeking emotional solace from her love and lover so I do not blamd her. I do wish that she had made a different choice and withstood the temptation though.

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Post by grahase71 » 03 May 2018, 15:09

I think Natalie was being a typical teenage girl. Even though what she did was wrong, her youth and inexperience made it hard for her to realize the consequences of her actions. I felt as though she just wanted to be loved and feel that she was pretty and could appeal to the opposite sex. She was bullied and harassed by other girls her age and made to feel inferior because of her mixed race. I was surprised by the ending, though.

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Post by barbmolee+52 » 03 May 2018, 15:31

whether she has the tendency to justify her actions or not, is her problem.
The fact that she is wrong is still standing.
There are wrong actions done in the name of peace, if it is for peace, allow her to keep up the good works.

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Post by Flames_ » 03 May 2018, 16:49

N_R wrote:
06 Apr 2018, 00:08
It is a very tricky subject and some people have some very fixed views on this. However, I think that love is really a collection of physical chemical reactions we have to someone and it fades over time (approx 2 yars), this is why a lot of relationships break up around this time. Real love is finding things to love about the person and continue to do so, which is why relationships undergo changes and phases. I think that we do need to think about what our intentions are and why we are doing things as hurting other people is not a good way to live or value.
Exactly my point, hurting other people because of love is not a good way to live.

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Post by Flames_ » 03 May 2018, 16:52

Bianka Walter wrote:
06 Apr 2018, 04:42
I think it's easy to blame love. But the bottom line is, he was a married man, and she was responsible for her actions. I also think it is easy to blame her age and the fact that she may be too immature to know that it was wrong. But I believe that it doesn't matter where we try to place blame. The two people involved knew what they were doing, and that it was wrong.
Yes, they knew what they were doing. Every other thing are just excuses to make themselves feel better.

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Post by Flames_ » 03 May 2018, 16:57

I don't think you could justify Natalie relationship with the married man. Yes, she was vulnerable and young, but it doesn't justify choosing to be with the married man.

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Post by Delioness » 03 May 2018, 19:26

Ignorance is not an excuse, what's wrong is wrong. Natalie's young age is not a suitable excuse for such an outrageous action. Accepted, we cannot control whom we fall in love with, but we can control our actions. Natalie's case is not an exception. In my opinion, she was too young to understand that love also entailed letting the person go.

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