Is Natalie's protection of her mother a reversal of roles? Does it happen often nowadays? Any personal experiences?

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Is Natalie's protection of her mother a reversal of roles? Does it happen often nowadays? Any personal experiences?

Post by CambaReviewer » 03 Apr 2018, 12:46

I think Natalie found herself in a reversal of roles where she was protecting her mother who should have protected her, but was unable to. I have friends who have experienced it, but it was not in an abusive environment. They had to take up parenting roles because of illness leading to situations where the adult had diminished responsibility. It is a huge daunting challenge that children are often not prepared for.

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Post by lesler » 04 Apr 2018, 08:56

Agreed. Natalie had to be an adult when she should have been a child, and that will affect her hypothetical relationships for the rest of her life.

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Post by SABRADLEY » 04 Apr 2018, 09:08

Yes, it is an unfortunate reversal of roles. It can happen in violent home situations, or when a parent is incapacitated in some way (either medically or from drugs/alcohol). It's heartbreaking.

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Post by CambaReviewer » 04 Apr 2018, 11:47

Insightful replies! Thanks! It is heartbreaking and the psychological effect of missing one's childhood by having to take up adult responsibility can be huge and can manifest in several ways years later. As a society, I think we need to look out for these children and support them much more.

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Post by FilmStar » 04 Apr 2018, 12:58

It seemed like she was taking care of her mother more than her taking care of Natalie. Natalie used her prize money to give her a sewing machine which she shouldn't have to do and she's the one taking care of the family financially. If her mother was that great of a mother, she wouldn't be with a drunken, abusive fool like Alex.

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Post by Eryn Bradshaw » 04 Apr 2018, 13:56

It can definitely be hard on kids. My sister had to take care of our youngest sister after my dad passed away to help my mom out. I watched my sister grow up really quick because of it. At the same time, I do think it has the potential to help those kids out in the future. They learn how to depend on themselves and can live away from home since they already understand responsibility.
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Post by Aisha I » 04 Apr 2018, 18:10

Yes it is a reversal of roles, but I think it wasn't a forceful state. All kids, most especially the female children care so much about their family especially when it comes to parents who are incapacitated. they want by all means to see that their parents have the best of all.
Yes it do happen always especially among the poor, the middle class citizens and the bankrupted families whose parents might be traumatized. I used to be a victim but from a family so full of love and I enjoyed providing support for my family especially my nephew and two nieces. Due to this we are all well off financially now

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Post by mmklundt » 04 Apr 2018, 20:34

I think this is common. If there is one parent in the household who is less of an abuser or is abused themselves the child will have an attachment to that parent that goes beyond the normal. Not only will the affection be doubled because of the need but a child will also defend because of the bond felt to that parent.

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Post by maggiechap » 05 Apr 2018, 21:01

I think this is very common and not entirely in 'abusive' situations even. I don't think it was forced. She saw her mother being hurt and acted in defense. It happens. Today, even as an adult, I find myself taking care of my mother. I cook dinner and we've gotten in the habit of me turning out her bedroom lights at night because she falls asleep with the tv on and it wakes me up at 3am. She's never been the 'cuddle mother' as my sister calls it, but I am most certainly that type of girl who just enjoys taking care of others like that. So I think it depends a lot of the personality and the situations.

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Post by qsusan » 06 Apr 2018, 12:51

Natalie's situation is a reversal of roles.The reasons for this can range from abuse to illness to death to mental instability, drugs and so on which render the normal status quo, of parents as the protector, void.
Children who assume responsibility for their parents or family while still in their childhood are forced to grow up before their time and are irreversibly changed and often damaged.

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Post by Mr Benji » 06 Apr 2018, 17:00

Really there is still reversal of roles in the home today especially if the parent is an invalid. Natalie's case is not different.
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Post by Sanyesto » 07 Apr 2018, 01:26

It is clearly a reversal of roles. Actually we can't tell why it had to be her to protect both her siblings and her mother from all the harsh treatments from their father, but I think she does it well and perfectly. May be it is her resilient nature that necessitates this.

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Post by Samy Lax » 07 Apr 2018, 09:51

Natalie seems to be the more responsible one in the book. Yes, even more than her mother. It does seem to be a reversal of roles of sorts. An excellent example is when Natalie decides to buy a sewing machine with her prize money and take care of the family financially, when usually, there is an adult who looks after these things instead.

Unfortunately, yes, it is a common sight these days.
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Post by Nanig83006 » 07 Apr 2018, 12:38

It is a role of reversals and, in my opinion, a form of abuse as well. Natalie should have enjoyed her time as a child. Instead, she stepped in to protect her mother. I don't blame her mother, though. A lot of women (especially during that time period) were taught to just accept abuse. It's brainwashing. For the adult and the child. Both have been taught it's okay to behave and respond to the situation, so they see nothing wrong with being beaten or being a child protecting an adult who does nothing to stop it. They've likely been abused like this for a long time. It's a cycle that needs to break and, while it's great that Natalie broke it, it shouldn't have been at such a young age and for someone else. I do want to add that Natalie's protection of her mother is also natural. All children love their parents (or caregivers/guardians) and will do anything to keep them safe. It's just a shame when it becomes a habit.

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Post by See_B00kReaDs » 08 Apr 2018, 06:17

qsusan wrote:
06 Apr 2018, 12:51
Natalie's situation is a reversal of roles.The reasons for this can range from abuse to illness to death to mental instability, drugs and so on which render the normal status quo, of parents as the protector, void.
Children who assume responsibility for their parents or family while still in their childhood are forced to grow up before their time and are irreversibly changed and often damaged.
I agree, children becomes adult instantly because of these unfortunate situations.
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