What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Post by joycechitwa » 11 Jul 2018, 14:18

It becomes very difficult to overcome abuse and trauma if the society, or at least the perpetrator believes that he or she (the perpetrator) has the right and/or aurthority to do so. In some of our African cultures where women are considered as part of men's property, and the bulk of people in power (e.g. police, local authorities e.t.c) are still the same men, it poses a challenge for an abused wife or female to even begin to report, let alone seek justice. In these cases, the starting point is shifting mindsets to re-educate society that each and every person has equal rights that need to be respected and upheld.

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Post by ea_anthony » 11 Jul 2018, 17:32

BDTheresa wrote:
02 Apr 2018, 03:36
Natalie fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is one way to overcome abuse and trauma. The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. The mother is equally responsible. Instead of letting her eldest child raise up to the challenge of protecting her and her siblings, the mother should have done that instead. It's her responsibility as a mother to protect her children. The best way to respond to abuse and other traumatic experience is to seek professional help or check out https://www.helpguide.org. I don't think it's difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if the writer follows the right method which are : (1) experience. If the writer doesn't have experience then the writer should seek out experience from those who overcame their abuse and trauma. No knowledge is small. (2) Seek out understanding from the professional. Those who study these kinds of things (Psychologist).
So kind of you to share a link on seeking professional (www.helpguide.org), you have done well. I agree to a large extent with you that writing about abusive situations might not be difficult for an author. A writer might experience a burst of inspiration and vividly describe abusive situations that might be 100% fiction. A writer could also have personally experienced such and decide to share as a therapeutic measure or to ensure the prevention, this situations might also be easy for the said writer to put to paper.
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Post by MidnightBasm » 12 Jul 2018, 05:56

Unfortunately, this situation is more than the plot of Ironbark Hill. It's a reality that many teenagers must face daily. Some of them will raise above and this challenge will transform them in stronger versions of themselves. However, the abuse from a parent is bound to leave deep scars. I call abuse both the actual act and the indifference that the mother displays. She is supposed to find her strength and provide a better life for her children. Natalie demonstrates a powerful will, not only to build a shield for herself, but also for her brothers against this traumatic experience. I believe that the best way to overcome abuse is to find inner strength and that healing can only come from within. But, of course, there are multiple venues that can help you achieve peace with yourself, ranging from talking it through with a friend to specialized help.

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Post by Dylan Dames » 12 Jul 2018, 16:50

First, I know that for people who are actually struggling with overcoming abuse reading this, the many differing opinions, comparisons and forms of advice can be alienating and confusing. Also, the way people are praising someone as fierce as Natalie can be intimidating because you think, "Is that what I need to become to get better?" The answer is no! Not definitely, at least. Trauma is something we are continually unraveling and working through. Once you've at least acknowledged your issues, taken the reins and treated yourself as someone of worth, you've begun the process. You can do this.

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Post by LaurenHaupt » 13 Jul 2018, 00:09

Talking about it. Find someone you can be close to and are very comfortable around. Write about it in a journal. Keeping things bottled up doesn't improve the situation.

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Post by Abdulsalam007+ » 13 Jul 2018, 16:35

Trauma and abuse are two sides of a coin and the commonest thing in Africa rampant among girls, further aggravated by the fact that these girls often wouldn't want to disrupt the supposed happiness in the family. Hence, she will prefer to stay mute for the peace of the family and personally bear the brunt of the haunting scenes of flashbacks of the inhumane desecration. This ultimately would affect the woman she'll eventually turn out to be.

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Post by Ksharmilla » 14 Jul 2018, 19:17

I feel creating distance is the first step. Then take time for yourself and do things you enjoy. Seek help. And carve an identity for yourself.

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Post by juliamenez » 15 Jul 2018, 13:52

I'm actually reading Drift to Shift right now, which outlines some great case studies about overcoming hardships in order to live a dream life. One of the key points is to have a good support system and someone who believes in you.

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Post by Jeff_O » Yesterday, 12:25

Mjgarrison wrote:
02 Apr 2018, 23:20
I feel like the best way to overcome abuse is to get away from and learn the signs so you can stay away from it. I was badly abused by my ex-husband and I didn't start to heal until I took myself and my kids far away from the situation. It still took about 10 years to forgive my abuser and start to really trust people in my life again.
You did the right thing by getting away with your kids. The kids also suffer psychologically just like the victim more so if it involves their parents. Good luck!

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