What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
amsula_2018
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Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Post by amsula_2018 » 04 Jul 2018, 08:28

cristinaro wrote:
01 Apr 2018, 16:23
The protagonist in Ironbark Hill is sixteen-year-old Natalie Chapman. She has to cope with verbal, physical and psychological abuse from an alcoholic stepfather. Her answer is fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art.

What is your view on the matter? Is the alcoholic father the only responsible in the family equation? Which are the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experiences? Do you think it is difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations?
Probably, the mother is also to blame, marrying a man that is abusive. As mother, the children's interest or welfare should have been taken into consideration prior to her marriage to a violent man. I think despite the fact that the child has found her comfort in her artwork, her full potential is still hindered by the violence she experience. Well, that is just my opinion but as to the ability of an author to describe abusive situations is something that can be done by an observant writer or the writer might have experienced it to write about it.
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Post by readandsmile » 05 Jul 2018, 05:22

It's so hard to overcome abusive situation. This story makes me cry and reminded me of something.
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Post by Surakshita-11 » 05 Jul 2018, 11:24

It is really difficult to say what will be best way to ovecome abuse and trauma but something that can help is to have faith in oneself and to confront the abuser

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Post by Sibhone1 » 05 Jul 2018, 15:29

I understand why she diffuses herself into art as it is therapeutic. When I was depressed due to trauma and abuse I turned to art as it offered an outlet for the pain.It is difficult to express abuse in writing as all the emotions rush forward as you remember the pain and you might find it difficult to write anymore and result to crying and a sense of mystery.

The father is a weed that first needs uprooting from her life for her to be able to recover and heal. She needs someone who will not only listen to her but with whom she's confident with and feels secure around.Such a person should distract her towards the positive like a nice game of tennis. Listen to her description of what she felt while doing pieces of her art work and empathize. Make her feel like a child cared for again and take her out for ice cream while discussing calming topics. This restores the sense of humanity ripped out by her father where she felt alone and scared.

This is the best way to aid people who have had trauma and abuse. Changing the perspective shown to them of an evil world, where everyone is against them to there are good people in the world.This says to them you are fit to be loved and cherished and I like getting to know you because you are a wonderful person.

Surrounding them with positivity slowly drives away the negativity. Approach is also vital as you must show you care but not give the impression your fragile glass that might break or an illiterate suffering from some disease. I'm very passionate about this because I had an unpleasant experience and this is what got me through, so I believe it can help others as well. 🙂

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Post by Little Penwriter » 06 Jul 2018, 07:18

A lot of times, we can become used to abuse and it becomes our new normal. I know a neighbor who struggled and then accepted that it was the norm anyway in the environment and that she shouldn't complain. I am from Western Africa so abuse and trauma is very prevalent here. One thing I have noticed in my environment, including myself sometimes is that people no longer care. They just keep enduring and keep adjusting the bar of their abuse tolerance. But I have also seen that the little things in life, like guys getting together after work to watch the game or women/girls reading books/material often helps.
This is as far as I know

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Post by Ibeh12 » 07 Jul 2018, 03:29

I liked the way Natalie fought to overcome the trauma in her life. I think the best ways to overcome such is to speak out and seek therapy.

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Post by Aliyu Yusuf » 08 Jul 2018, 02:56

there is no best way in responding to abuse and traumatic experiences because everybody's response to it will always be different and unique to them in their own way. Same situation with same advice may work for one and not for another. The bigger question is how to live with the thought of it after you must have gotten away from it, most people becomes enslaved in this thought long after it had happened and this becomes another problem on its own which affects greatly their social lives
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Post by Parisfrance » 08 Jul 2018, 05:42

Fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is also good in fighting against verbal, physical and psychological abuse. It's better for someone experiencing abuse to be able to cope up by doing something that can express their feelings and emotions that can't be shown in public. to relieve the anger, pain and hatred they feel.

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Post by juliecsa » 08 Jul 2018, 11:18

I don't think the father is the only one responsible, I think the mother has a responsibility to her children, even though it is a difficult situation for her as well. It should not be a child's burden to bear alone.

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Post by mcmiopad » 09 Jul 2018, 18:00

meeting councillors for more knowledge to grow and also praying for her step dad or better still get a job that will keep her busy from seeing him always.

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Post by Hannahrg » 10 Jul 2018, 03:02

Trauma and abuse must be dealt with head-on. There is no better way than going to a professional or counselor to seek help and advice. It is also the responsibility of the mother to protect her children against the abuses of the father. Likewise, the society also plays a major role in stopping the violence for continually happening. Everybody must be made knowledgeable and aware of how to fight abuse.

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Post by russel_ruth » 10 Jul 2018, 05:42

It depends on the individual to overcome abuse and trauma. Natalie fighting back is good in my opinion, one must be able to take hold of their own life. Art, writing, music are commonly used to let out repressed emotions so they can help. What you cannot express verbally can be done through that. I have been thinking if forgiveness can work, I mean there are instances when the abuse is so horrible that you cannot simply forgive the person. However as Buddha once said,
"Holding on to anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die"

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Post by Shazma Batool » 10 Jul 2018, 12:47

I've not studied the book but the answer to this topic is that the best way to get rid of abuse and trauma is to response.This response doesn't mean to fight , it means to raise voice against these situations through a proper channal. And secondly, behave positively.You know that God has not created you to stuck in these oppositions,you must have the patience to handle these situations strongly and boldly and it's your right to speak for these.Trust on God's justice.Because we all are equal infront of Him.Just Believe in yourself ! .

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Post by Salman1 » 10 Jul 2018, 21:04

No i dont think so alcholic father is only resonsible for that her mother is equally responsible for all the situations she abused because her mother make her to abused and manipulate by her drunken father her mother was responsible for the unbearable condition of her.and to face fear and fight back is only way to overcome trauma and other such type of things

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Post by gdmedina270 » 11 Jul 2018, 02:58

I think that finding refuge in art and fighting mistreatment is a good way of healing. I also think that in order for one to really find inner peace is to find forgiveness. To forgive him will help her let go and turn a new chapter in life. I definitely think this is easier said than done, but ultimately I think this is what Natalie should strive for.

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