What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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easyt
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Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Post by easyt » 12 May 2018, 06:45

For me I will just start neglecting any words of abuse, when you pay no attention to them then you winning. And for trauma, try to let everybody knows what you are hiding and move freely, suddenly you will forget what's bordering you but it depend on trauma you are having but if you ask me I will tell you.

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Post by Felice01 » 12 May 2018, 06:59

Pray prayer changes things overcoming what has happened and try to get yourself out with help of couse support from others. Make up your mind that it isn't your fault thers help out there seek it. Draw strength from others let someone know what you are going through so you can get the help you need.

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Post by Lgs1089 » 12 May 2018, 14:55

Faiza Nasir wrote:
05 May 2018, 04:53
First of all you just have to relax your mind , free your mind from all extra thoughts that are annoying you . Then go outside from your home like park, sea side or any other good or relaxing place where you can relax your mind and can free your mind from these types of thoughts, then take a deep breath and walk slowly in fresh air . Feel the environment , spread your hand in fresh air , take deep breath slowly and just start thinking about your blessings that GOD blessed you with.
Another way to realax your mind is YOGA .
You can also relax yourself from trauma to play with innocent childrens , they will help you to reduce your mind stress .
And you can overcome with abuse just by ignoring them.
I definitely agree. It's best to remove yourself from those situations, and it's also important to talk about it. I find that it helps to always have a goal in mind. It could be something as simple as bathing the dog or something as large as going back to school. It just helps to always have something to look forward to. Idle time is the devil's work. :evil2:
L.G. Stewart
"Pour yourself a drink, put on some lipstick, and pull yourself together." :wine:

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Post by faceadventure » 12 May 2018, 18:15

The abuser holds the most responsibility. But those who only stand by and watch someone get abused also hold a huge amount of responsibility. Overcoming such things is not easy but I think that the best way to deal with trauma is removing yourself from the reach of your abuser and seeking guidance from a therapist.

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Post by Keisu » 13 May 2018, 10:24

The best way to overcome abuse and trauma is to just stay away from it.,think of whats the world can offer you not what it takes from you.,there are alot of things that is worth living.,go out explore.,

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Post by 123samuel » 13 May 2018, 22:34

Natalie just need to avoid her father's abuse by keeping off when she knows he is drunk and if not drunk, she should try her best and leave the rest for God.

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Post by Oceanside » 14 May 2018, 13:05

SABRADLEY wrote:
04 Apr 2018, 09:17
That's a tricky one. A lot of people never overcome the effects of abuse. I venture to say even most will fall into that category. Having a support system of trusted individuals, finding strength in survivor's stories, perhaps church, trying to find healthy outlets like excerise and counseling, may offer assistance.
I'm not sure if anyone ever really overcomes their abuse. I guess it depends on your definition of overcoming but I feel like most people are shaped from their abuse and it just becomes a part of why they are who they are. But I very much agree in what you said about finding strength in healthy outlets.

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Post by bootsie0126+ » 14 May 2018, 14:18

cristinaro wrote:
05 Apr 2018, 02:31
DesireeRose wrote:
03 Apr 2018, 17:44
I think the best way to overcome abuse is to go to therapy and get out of the clutches of the trauma. Both things are really difficult to do, and Natalie did a pretty good job overcoming it by moving against her stepfather.
I have recently talked to somebody who went to therapy and she felt worse. However, I still believe that talking to a good therapist may help a person face his/her demons and gradually learn to live with them or overcome them altogether. In Natalie's case, I am afraid such an option was out of question considering her situation and the times.
Anyone dealing with any type of abuse or trauma must first be willing to seek help. Just like there is no one-cure method for overcoming abuse or trauma, there is no cookie-cutter therapy that works for everyone. Once a person gets to the point of seeking help, they must find the best therapy method that will work for them. Sometimes we must reach our lowest point imaginable before we can start to heal. Often, victims of abuse or trauma blame themselves for what happened. There are also times when instead of protecting a child from an abusive situation, the parent, most often the mother, ignore, deny and blame the child for the situation.

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Post by SABRADLEY » 14 May 2018, 15:19

Oceanside wrote:
14 May 2018, 13:05
SABRADLEY wrote:
04 Apr 2018, 09:17
That's a tricky one. A lot of people never overcome the effects of abuse. I venture to say even most will fall into that category. Having a support system of trusted individuals, finding strength in survivor's stories, perhaps church, trying to find healthy outlets like excerise and counseling, may offer assistance.
I'm not sure if anyone ever really overcomes their abuse. I guess it depends on your definition of overcoming but I feel like most people are shaped from their abuse and it just becomes a part of why they are who they are. But I very much agree in what you said about finding strength in healthy outlets.
Yes, those were my thoughts as well :) Sounds like we're on the same page

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Post by Finimale007 » 14 May 2018, 18:46

The best way to avoid abuse is to be watchful of place you go and the kind of people you meet and always try to be at the right place at the right time and the abused can only be consoled if the person who did it is caught and jailed or sentenced it creates a kind if relive. he will never be able to do it to another person.

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Post by richa1706 » 15 May 2018, 02:27

If the reason of one's trauma is an individual, the best is to keep away.The key is to forgive even if you cannot forget.The forgiveness here means letting go of the sourness in your heart for your own goodness, having the belief that u shall rise above the hardships and the sorrow.

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Post by AERans » 15 May 2018, 04:45

The best way to cope with abuse and trauma is to remember that you have people who love you and are there for you. We read so many books with abused heroine/heros and we all know how they cope with it.
The best way is to acknowledge that you were the victim and what happened was wrong. You have people who love you and care for you. You are not alone. And you will get out of this. ❤

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Post by oluwagbemigaadedotun » 15 May 2018, 11:26

1. The best way to overcome trauma and abuse is silence in some cases as it has we have seen it work out a number of times. 2. The other way is to face it headlong once it is becoming life threatening as one might not live to tell the story if you will not take the bull by the horn.
Trauma and abuse subject its victim to anger, sadness, psychological agony, ridicule, inferiority complex, unhappiness,lack of trust in self and in people and eventually lead to suicide.
Once it is well handled; it bring to you:
a. Ambience
b. Beauty
c. Courage
d. dedication and devotion
e. Empathy and exemplary life
f. Faithfulness and faith in self and God
g. Goodness and guilt removes
h. Humility and humbleness
I. Imbibe good things
J. Justification and justice
K. Knowledge and kindness
L. Love and living a good life
M. Meekness, mildness
N. N
O. Obedience to constituted authority and godly advice
P. Piety, prosperity and provision(s)
Q. quality life that can be emulated.
R. Risen life worthy of emualtion
S. Surrendered life.
T. Take one day at a time
U. Utilise your time well and accurately
V. value yourself
W. Winsome and well structured
X. x-ray your step and life every time.
Y. Yield your self to thing that are good and worthy of emulating
Z. Zealous of good works and Zeitgeist.
If this are followed, it will help to structured the trauma and abuse.

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Post by Kdonegan91 » 15 May 2018, 17:47

We all find our own way of dealing with trauma or abuse. My main source of dealing with stress, trauma, or frustration is prayer and reading. My husband on the other hand, uses video games, fishing, and lifting weights. I believe writing about any kind of abuse can be very difficult for an author. The author has to be able to write in such a manner that the reader feels the victims anguish. For the last portion of your post, I do believe her father was a huge role in the family's issues. However, her mother should have stood up and stopped it or left with her children.
When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. - Wayne Dyer

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Post by Lolo Skyooz » 16 May 2018, 02:01

I think the most effective solutions to treat this kind of trauma are seemingly the most simple ones: Plenty of sleep on a regular schedule, stable and healthy diet, at least a bare minimum of exercise, a support system of friends and/or family (even a small one, even one or two people if that's all you can do for whatever reason--this is so important), a clean and orderly space to live in, and talk therapy with a doctor who knows what they are doing. A lot of people just say "stay busy," but really, that's not enough. Your whole lifestyle has to serve to make you a more secure and stable individual if you have great trauma riding around in your heart.

I think significant abuse and trauma can be difficult for writers to write about in an honest way. It all serves as a great motivation for characters, convincing backstory, but writing and thinking about it in a realistic way is tough for anyone.

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