Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Overcoming abuse and trauma in reality, is easier said than done. Most often, victims of such end up learning how to cope with it. In an attempt to profer a solution; firstly, I would suggest meeting a professional, that is a psychologist whose core responsibility is to help such victims through those trying times. If the idea does not augor well, the individual can confide in a close and trusted friend. A problem shared is half solved. Secondly, I'd advise, more like persuade the individual to engage in activities he/she delights in. Such activities will aid in combating the trauma associated with abuse.
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The best way way to overcome abuse and trauma is to find refuge like teaching,counseling and speaking against such evil acts. As for the 16-year-old Natalie Chapman,she did what was the best herself when she overcome the family poverty and become a art teacher.
But I do not entirely blame the alcoholic stepfather for emotionally abusing her step daughter. Natalie's mother ,like any other woman, shoulders the blame for sacrificing her child for the love of her stepfather.
Irma,Natalie 's mother ,was at liberty to protect her child from such abuse and trauma: She would have repeatedly told -off her lover that if he loves her he must be willing also to accept her children as well.However, most of women's shortcomings, as was the case of Irma, lack a strong spirit to quench the Alex' unbecoming behavior.
Morally, it's difficult to describe in details certain abuses in a story like that of Natalie as it holds the potential to arose strong feelings. Nevertheless, the author ,Jennie Linnane told a beautiful and emotional provoking story.
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The best way to overcome abuse and trauma is to talk to a therapist or someone even higher to have them help get away from the abuse. It is not good to be around that for long because it can ruin her as a person and she will never be able to feel safe around anyone again. As for the 16 year old girl Natalie Chapman, she did what was best for herself and overcame her family and became a art teacher. I do blame her step father for the abuse because he should of knew that was wrong of him to do to her. But her mother should of put a stop to the abuse, so I also blame her as well. She could of taken up for her daughter and put her foot down. Yes, I think this story was hard for the writer to write because anyone talking about abuses has a hard time talking bout it. Abuse is not an easy subject to touch on because in these days it happens so often to babies to adults and no one puts a stop to it. There are Children services to help stop this abuse but they don't do enough to stop it.
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First of all you just have to relax your mind , free your mind from all extra thoughts that are annoying you . Then go outside from your home like park, sea side or any other good or relaxing place where you can relax your mind and can free your mind from these types of thoughts, then take a deep breath and walk slowly in fresh air . Feel the environment , spread your hand in fresh air , take deep breath slowly and just start thinking about your blessings that GOD blessed you with.
Another way to realax your mind is YOGA .
You can also relax yourself from trauma to play with innocent childrens , they will help you to reduce your mind stress .
And you can overcome with abuse just by ignoring them.
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I believe there are a lot of aspects that need to be involved to truly overcome abuse and trauma. But the main thing is to learn not to internalize it and realize that we do live in a world where we don’t have control of the beginning years of our lives. A lot of times we have to cope with being put in those situations and not understanding why, however if we try not to blame or victimize ourselves it becomes easier over time to realize that we can use that hurt as help for others and truly make a positive impact on the lives of many through our testimony.
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I feel the best way to overcome abuse is first admitting you are being abused and stop making excuses for the abuser. Stop trying to protect him or her or cover up for him or her no matter how sorry they get having abusing you.Then speak out! Talk to someone about this, tell the authorities, seek help. If you can separate yourself physically from the abuser it will be a good idea. Then if you are injured you need medical attention and the need counselling and then you can also get help for the abuser too because most time an abuser has been a victim of abuse in the past or even presently. it could become a vicious circle if its not properly dealt with.
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I think a strong support group is key. You need people to lean on and people to help guide you. It can be hard to see that there is a way out and having people to show you the way is key I think. It can be hard to get in the mental state to do it yourself.
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I would find it extremely difficult to write about these things. You have to do the research and truly find what people have gone thru. How can you not help but feel for them.
A lot of times, children and adults from abusive situations have a hard time expressing themselves in a healthy manner. Finding an outlet like art or music can seriously help.
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The ways to overcome abuse vary from case to case. An adult may find it easier to get out of the abuse, compared to a child, because they are more independent and financially stable, so to speak. However, one advice that could apply to both parties is that they should talk to someone they trust about it. If the parents of the victim won't listen, then a friend or a teacher might. Also, letting all out is a good way to get rid of the shame and feelings bottled up inside.
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These are complex questions to answer because they depend on the context. For example, my father was an alcoholic and while my mom was divorcing him, the court judges and lawyers labeled her as the "silent abuser" because she did not stand up to him and therefore was just as bad as he was in allowing abuse to happen to their children. Yet, this is just an example of victim blaming. He had threatened to kill her if she tried to divorce him, and she was afraid for her life to stand up to him. She risked her life trying to protect her kids, and there really is no "perfect" way for a family to handle an abusive situation in the first place.
Even though my mom had proven in court that my dad was abusive, the judge still gave him 50% visitation with me and my brother. I spent my teenage years caring for my dad and fearing him. I responded to his psychological and emotional abuse by moving out when I turned 18, and in turn he disowned me. Interestingly enough, not speaking to him has been the best possible way for me to accept my past and live fully and happily in the present. Sometimes the best way to heal is to completely remove yourself from the abusive situation and cut ties for your own emotional sanity.
Sorry for the rant...these are just some great questions to unravel.
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I dont think theres a particular "best way" to overcome trauma and abuse. Everyone thinks, feels and reacts in different ways so their methods of dealing with trauma will vary. Also I believe that dealing with abuse and trauma is an ongoing process.
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I don't think there's a one-solution-fits-all to that question.
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The mother should have done to protect her siblings,its a big resposiblity. As writer should seek out experience its a big shot as a writer.
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When it comes to abuse, each person deals with overcoming differently. I have found much is determined by the personality type. Some can deal with it head on and put it behind them as a tough lesson learned. Others find coping mechanisms in different ways; Much like the character used art as her healing outlet. I do believe the best thing anyone who has been abused can do is to SPEAK WITH SOMEONE THEY TRUST! You also have to be secure in their unconditional love for you. We are a society of victim shamers and that has to stop. It’s a huge topic that could handle some serious solutions and assistance for others.