What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Christina Rose
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Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Post by Christina Rose » 30 Apr 2018, 12:17

cristinaro wrote:
01 Apr 2018, 16:23
The protagonist in Ironbark Hill is sixteen-year-old Natalie Chapman. She has to cope with verbal, physical and psychological abuse from an alcoholic stepfather. Her answer is fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art.

What is your view on the matter? Is the alcoholic father the only responsible in the family equation? Which are the best means of responding to abuse and other traumatic experiences? Do you think it is difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations?
I don't think Alex was the only one responsible in this situation. The mother who did not remove Natalie from an abusive situation is also to blame, although she herself was in a abusive situation as well, and this plays a big factor in how she handled life's situations.
There is no best way to handle this kind of situation. Each person has to find a path that truly works. I do think outside help is beneficial, if available.
I'm sure it is difficult to write about such situations. Authors who have experienced abuse could reopen old wounds, and those that haven't will likely need to tread carefully as an outsider looking in.

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Post by cozark38 » 30 Apr 2018, 14:59

Mjgarrison wrote:
02 Apr 2018, 23:20
I feel like the best way to overcome abuse is to get away from and learn the signs so you can stay away from it. I was badly abused by my ex-husband and I didn't start to heal until I took myself and my kids far away from the situation. It still took about 10 years to forgive my abuser and start to really trust people in my life again.
Removing yourself from that situation is the most important step. Learning recognition of the same is the necessary step. Be proud and be happy. You have earned it. :)

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Post by Jessy Ben » 01 May 2018, 00:27

I feel emotional pain just reading the pains and abuse she felt.... I think defending herself is the best thing to do other than waiting for someone to d it for her..

I. Love this page

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Post by Positiveminds7 » 01 May 2018, 03:59

Bоth mаlеѕ and females can fаll viсtim tо a аbuѕе рrеdаtоr. Aссоrding to the Crimеѕ Against Childrеn Research Cеntеr, one in fivе girlѕ and оnе in twenty bоуѕ hаvе bееn ѕеxuаllу or physically аbuѕеd as children.

But this аbuѕе often goes undеrrероrtеd, еѕресiаllу during сhildhооd. Evеn with inсrеаѕеd аwаrеnеѕѕ оn thе tорiс, сhildhооd аbuѕе rеmаinѕ a fairly tаbоо topic. Various ѕtеrеоtуреѕ реrѕiѕt аnd оftеn stigmatize ѕеx аbuѕе survivors.

As witnessed in the book, at timеѕ thе аftеrеffесtѕ оf abuse triсklе оvеr intо аdulthооd аnd it is thеn thаt оnе diѕсlоѕеѕ what hарреnеd. Unfortunately, реорlеѕ' rеѕроnѕеѕ аrе often less thаn kind оr undеrѕtаnding. It'ѕ undеrѕtаndаblе fоr a person not tо knоw how tо respond. And уеt there are also ѕоmе vеrу ѕресifiс rеѕроnѕеѕ thаt should be аvоidеd altogether.

Jеnniе Linnаnе, IRONBARK HILL: There liеѕ ahead a lоng, rough rоаd fоr a girl fighting diѕсriminаtiоn, seeking rеvеngе, and рurѕuing a саrееr in lаndѕсаре painting.

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Post by TheSeelieCourtJester » 01 May 2018, 11:52

I feel that the best way would be to overcome trauma and abuse would be to surround yourself with loved ones that will support you in your time of need. Going to a mental health professional would also be recommended, although sometimes, attending a community that would help you with your problems is all that's needed. It also helps to have a hobby. For me, personally, writing, reading, and crocheting is a good way to help myself relax, at the very least.
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Post by Amondi Oluoch » 01 May 2018, 14:48

Be optimistic in whatever you do. Do it passionately and it will drift your attention.
I think that can help a bit.
When it comes to directing the world to work with you, age doesn't matter, race doesn't matter, origin doesn't matter.

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Post by rik17 » 01 May 2018, 22:52

Mothers, in such families, become more inclined towards resigning from life, leading to depression and then moving towards other unwelcoming practices. This is a generalized understanding i have developed while reading various relevant articles and books. However, at one point i feel one needs to stand up and take responsibility. Declining from such is a form of crime as well.

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Post by Rosemary Okoko » 02 May 2018, 02:34

The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. Natalie's mother should have taken control of the situation. Counselling would be a good means of responding to abuse because the victim will get professional help on how to handle it. It can be difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if they have not experienced it or talked to those who have experienced it.

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Post by Ginnamassa19 » 02 May 2018, 09:15

It depends on how you look at it. Natalie's stepfather was obviously at fault for the abuse he inflicted upon her, although like many others have pointed out, Natalie's mother didn't manage to protect her either. Then again, it's questionable whether her mother *could* have protected her in the first place—it wasn't easy for her either, and it's tough to break away from a relationship no matter how toxic it's getting, anyway.

People in traumatic situations often find it difficult to extract themselves from said situations, but I feel that the best way to deal with them is to first remove yourself from whatever the problem is and then seek help. Different people cope differently, so that can mean different things, like talking to a trusted friend or a counsellor if they're willing/able to go to one, or even coping with it through different forms of expression like Natalie and her art. I don't think there's any one best way, since everyone works differently, so as long as you feel safe and are out of that situation, then I think that's good enough. The important thing really is to seek help, though.

It's definitely also going to be harder for a writer to write about abuse or a similarly traumatic experience if they haven't gone through one before. If a writer wants to do that particular idea justice, then maybe they should at least read some different accounts/biographies of people who have gone through abuse e.g. A Child Called It? It would help, I think. :)

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Post by mamalui » 02 May 2018, 15:59

cristinaro wrote:
16 Apr 2018, 08:01
mamalui wrote:
12 Apr 2018, 06:08
I found my outlet in religion. Reading the bible seems to work for me. Reading other books also seem to take me out of the reality of the situation. As where I'm situated there is no talking to a trained professional. I'm waiting until I relocate to seek the help I need.
I have learnt that you can use whatever keeps your mind busy. If the Bible or any other book brings you comfort, then you should not hesitate to benefit from some moments off the traumatic episodes. What I can tell you is never to lose hope, no matter what. You may never know when and how the sun will shine again.
Amen to that Cristinaro :tiphat:
No idea is a bad idea.

Life is what happens to you while you are busy making other plans.

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Post by Jonida » 02 May 2018, 17:02

Natalie should protect herself and maybe the only way to do that is to fight back. But she must be smarter and stronger, she must ruun away from that situation or this may affect her life in a very negative way.

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Post by SammiArch » 02 May 2018, 21:26

Being a victim of abuse, I can personally testify the only way to truly overcome traumatic turmoil is to boldly face, constantly challange, and relentlessly fight your fears.
Sammi Arch

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Post by Jgideon » 02 May 2018, 23:48

One needs courage and strength to fight emotional abuse. I believe being able to focus one's energy on something totally different such as art is the best solution.

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Post by Dithole modisaotsile » 03 May 2018, 12:38

Just protect yourself and other around you and report to police

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Post by musakhamismusa29 » 03 May 2018, 12:58

For starters, Natalie's mother's equally responsible in this situation. And if her mother cant assume responsibility and make the situation right, then Natalie herself should. How? by moving out, because it's quite clear her mother cant stand up for her own daughter in harm's way.
Besides, Natalie's 16 years old, she's legally old enough to take care of herself so to speak.

It's so unfortunate but i wish her well.

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