What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
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Post by SamSim » 06 Jun 2018, 12:51

BDTheresa wrote:
02 Apr 2018, 03:36
Natalie fighting back mistreatment and finding a refuge in art is one way to overcome abuse and trauma. The alcoholic father is not the only one responsible in the family equation. The mother is equally responsible. Instead of letting her eldest child raise up to the challenge of protecting her and her siblings, the mother should have done that instead. It's her responsibility as a mother to protect her children. The best way to respond to abuse and other traumatic experience is to seek professional help or check out https://www.helpguide.org. I don't think it's difficult for a writer to describe abusive situations if the writer follows the right method which are : (1) experience. If the writer doesn't have experience then the writer should seek out experience from those who overcame their abuse and trauma. No knowledge is small. (2) Seek out understanding from the professional. Those who study these kinds of things (Psychologist).
This is basically what I was going to say, except you beat me to the punch and worded it far better than I would have. I admire authors that aren't afraid to shine a light on difficult situations and ugliness in the world without glorifying it. We need to be aware of these things and help victims, even if it's just through spreading awareness.
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Post by AWANDO OGUTU » 06 Jun 2018, 12:57

To be honest, I think it would be difficult for a writer to reduce into writing an abusive experience if he at one time had been a victim of any sort of abuse. However, I'm opined that the best way to move from abusive situations is to forget the past and engage in things that you actually enjoy and make you better as a person.

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Post by KFree_Reads » 06 Jun 2018, 17:42

There is no question that there are talented writers but the topic of abuse is not a topic that even the most creative writer can capture. I think that writing about abuse is very difficult if an author does not have any experience whether firsthand or from a secondary source. It is far more difficult for a writer who has experienced abuse to discuss the experience but there is a guarantee of more accuracy in the details they provide.

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Post by Elle Howard » 06 Jun 2018, 18:16

I think Natalie’s mom has as much responsibility as her father for her abuse. How to overcome the abuse depends on the individual. Some people do well with counseling. Others prefer to bury the past inside them. I guess the critical thing is that they are able to move forward with their life and accept what happened was not their fault.
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Post by Flower81 » 06 Jun 2018, 20:10

There is no best way to get out from under abuse and trauma. But then you know, fighting back isn't the most effective. Usually just get away from the situation or person is very effective. Get safe. Get help, counseling and don't go back.

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Post by Mailis » 07 Jun 2018, 03:33

I think there are many steps to healing the hurt and some of us are strong enough to work towards it and find an outlet for the anger and frustration this has brought and some have been so broken that they don't have strength left to achieve it by themselves. What helps most is the will to be strong and to fight for the right things. Do good and be a good person, even when life has mistreated you. This is the best solution.

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Post by Bookmermaid » 07 Jun 2018, 09:41

Great going for you, the more conscious parents like you we have, will hopefully foster a larger generation of creative and critical thinkers.

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Post by kwahu » 07 Jun 2018, 10:04

There is no better way to deal with trauma!, I think it's all depended on the particular individuals involved. Description of abusive situations is also not easy for any writer, especially when they are the victims.

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Post by Kemunto lucy » 07 Jun 2018, 14:21

Participating in sporting activities will greatly help overcome trauma though for introverts,meditation and counselling would help.

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Post by Ada4nathan » 07 Jun 2018, 16:12

I think the best way of responding to abuse and trauma is by talking to those who can help. It could be scary, but to me it's still the best way.

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Post by kemp1kor » 07 Jun 2018, 18:54

Speaking from personal experience, I think it is very difficult to fight back against abuse or mistreatment. I’m impressed with Natalie for taking it upon herself to stand up to her stepfather despite her young age. Her mother should have been the protector, but I can see how that might have been difficult for her. Regardless, protecting one’s children should be the top priority.

Finding an outlet to deal with past or present trauma is a good idea, and speaking with someone about those experiences can also be helpful, especially a trained professional.

I definitely think it would be difficult for an author to describe abusive situations, whether or not they have experienced abuse themselves. I would imagine that any feeling that an author wants to express through their writing, they are also feeling while writing.

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Post by Mercy Bolo » 08 Jun 2018, 04:14

It might be challenging for a writer to describe violent scenes without compromising the structural integrity of the story. Diverting attention from the abuser and abusive situations like Natalie did can be therapeutic. I approve of this method as a way of dealing with abuse.
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Post by Shraddha_rc » 09 Jun 2018, 07:08

Different people have different ways of overcoming abuse and trauma. You can't expect someone to take your advice or you can't assure someone that by accepting your advice they will definitely overcome their problems. I have never suffered from trauma or abuse, fortunately, so it would be lame if I recommend ways in which one can help themselves. Because I have no experience in that matter.

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Post by Christine Penny » 10 Jun 2018, 10:02

I can say from my extended and severe experience as a trauma survivor is that the most important thing to do is to first as soon as possible find a safe place, whether it is in your head or your environment where you get to be you... secondly, find a trauma-specialist who does EMDR and I found that any of the expressive therapies such as journaling, drawing, painting, scrapbooking or anything else that helps you sort, express and get the pain out is so useful, but nothing is more important than getting out of your head sometimes and helping others in some way, shape or form. And leaning into God, there is nothing better than total dependence on God. The worse it gets, the harder I lean into God.
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Post by palilogy » 10 Jun 2018, 16:58

I don't think that there is a best way to overcome abuse and trauma. It's different in every situation and scenario, such as in the book. It depends on the people and their character how they overcome, reflect and choose to live. Such as for example writing itself can be an escape from experience and trauma into a world of ones own where they can feel safe and balanced within the world as they see it.

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