What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Use this forum to discuss the April 2018 Book of the Month, "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane
Post Reply
User avatar
Bookmermaid
Posts: 304
Joined: 06 May 2018, 08:13
2018 Reading Goal: 24
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 158
Currently Reading: McDowell
Bookshelf Size: 77
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bookmermaid.html
Latest Review: Island Games by Caleb J. Boyer

Re: What is the best way to overcome abuse and trauma?

Post by Bookmermaid » 21 May 2018, 11:04

Agreed and it could easily breed a cycle of violence that can sometimes be passed on for generations.

User avatar
Roggyrus
Posts: 257
Joined: 06 Jan 2018, 01:17
2018 Reading Goal: 50
2017 Reading Goal: 0
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 16
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 114
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-roggyrus.html
Latest Review: Chrome Mountain by Ben Schneider

Post by Roggyrus » 21 May 2018, 21:23

The incidence of abuse in a family is not only due to the perpetrator but partly due to the victim, as well. It should be recalled that in any crime situation, many factors are contributory. Firstly, it could be the misfortune of the victim to be in a wrong place at a wrong time. The time and place when very conducive to the committal of a crime, leave only motivation for the crime to take place. And for motivation, Freud tells us that it is innate in human nature to be sexually inclined. Everything we do leads to the satisfaction of a want sexual in nature. It requires little for one to be predisposed to crime. That applies to the victim and culprit.

In a family situation, it could be well for the intended victim to stay clear of the set-up that could lead to abuse. It takes little sense to understand why we should not lump together the lambs with the wolves.

User avatar
The BookWorm Nagham
Posts: 190
Joined: 25 Jan 2018, 14:27
2018 Reading Goal: 50
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 104
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 84
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-the-bookworm-nagham.html
Latest Review: Toni the Superhero by R.D. Base

Post by The BookWorm Nagham » 22 May 2018, 03:04

There are no right way to overcome abuse, some people find refuge and solace in their hobbies such as art, music, dance, sports, books... other may need assistance from professionals. I think that the best road to recovery is putting it all out there, even if you're writing it in your diary, just confide in someone you trust. It isn't easy to have your trust broken. In this case, Natalie wasn't at fault, she shouldn't have fought her father alone, her mother should have stepped up. No one should go through this alone.

User avatar
Fuzzy456
Posts: 91
Joined: 01 Mar 2018, 07:08
2018 Reading Goal: 100
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 71
Currently Reading: The Other Woman
Bookshelf Size: 92
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-fuzzy456.html
Latest Review: My Ladybird Story by Magus Tor
Reading Device: B00N9ZVN90

Post by Fuzzy456 » 22 May 2018, 05:45

Everyone finds a different way to deal with the traumas of being abused. I think people have to realize that they are not alone, people can relate to their stories and trauma. They also have to realize that they can overcome the abuse without losing part of the themselves.

User avatar
matthelobola2018
Posts: 3
Joined: 07 May 2018, 07:40
Currently Reading: The Face of Fear
Bookshelf Size: 3

Post by matthelobola2018 » 22 May 2018, 10:09

To overcome abuse and trauma you need to have someone you can talk to that will be able to assist you in overcoming it and change of environment will be good.

liftedbooks
Posts: 189
Joined: 22 May 2018, 02:40
Currently Reading: The Ansgar Treasury
Bookshelf Size: 55
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-liftedbooks.html
Latest Review: The Embalmer by Vincent Zandri

Post by liftedbooks » 22 May 2018, 13:00

I would say the best way to overcome trauma and abuse is to talk about it. Share your emotions, your thoughts, your feelings with someone you can trust or even a professional.

User avatar
ladycraic
Posts: 411
Joined: 31 Oct 2017, 20:00
2018 Reading Goal: 15
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 73
Currently Reading: The Zachary Blake Legal Thriller Series
Bookshelf Size: 171
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ladycraic.html
Latest Review: When War Ends by Patricia Tomlin

Post by ladycraic » 22 May 2018, 16:03

For me, I think a very profound coping mechanism is faith. I know people who can only attribute their strength to their religion alone. I definitely need words of truth to lift me up when I'm in a physical, verbal, or emotional war zone.

User avatar
mashiva_v
Posts: 1
Joined: 22 May 2018, 17:48
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by mashiva_v » 22 May 2018, 18:02

It depends for each and everyone of us, for some people they have a willpower to overcome any bad experience and more ahead. Some others need a helping hand be it professional or from loving and supportive dear relatives to make progress. Some people seek spiritual help to move ahead positively.[amazon=][/amazon]

agboola adenike
Posts: 15
Joined: 18 May 2018, 07:26
Currently Reading: White Witch
Bookshelf Size: 12

Post by agboola adenike » 23 May 2018, 05:02

A real counselling is needed because it takes lot of time to fight the emotional trauma and I think staying away from the threat as much as possible

User avatar
shidawn
Posts: 16
Joined: 05 May 2018, 08:47
2018 Reading Goal: 16
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 25
Currently Reading: Superhighway
Bookshelf Size: 14
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-shidawn.html
Latest Review: Jonny the boy from the road by J.n.stephenson

Post by shidawn » 23 May 2018, 09:37

I don't think that there's one specific way to overcome abuse. For some people, the key is distancing themselves from the abuser. For others, it is talking about the situation with a trusted friend and working to form healthy relationships. Some people need to go to professional therapy. Others find a hobby or other activity to help them overcome the abuse and trauma.

In college, I took a class on family relations, and we talked about abuse victims being transitional people. That basically means that even if you came from a history of abuse, you don't have to continue the abuse. Instead, you make that change. You set that example. In many cases, people who are abused continue that cycle of abuse, but no matter what other steps you take, I think the key to overcoming abuse always involves breaking the cycle and being an example to those around you.

User avatar
Sushan
Posts: 371
Joined: 04 May 2018, 19:13
2018 Reading Goal: 10
2017 Reading Goal: 0
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 150
Currently Reading: Bound
Bookshelf Size: 124
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-sushan.html
Latest Review: Oblivion Threshold by J.R. Mabry and B.J. West

Post by Sushan » 23 May 2018, 12:44

What I think is we cannot really say what to do to overcome abuse, being outside the picture. When you are the victim only you will either choose to stand against or give in. What others can do is be alert about such instances and support the victim in the possible ways they can
:techie-studyingbrown: $u$han €kanayak€ :techie-studyingbrown:

User avatar
Laura Del
Posts: 191
Joined: 29 Apr 2018, 10:00
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 25
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-laura-del.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Laura Del » 23 May 2018, 13:57

I think that coping with art is one way to deal with the trauma of being abused. I, myself, have turned to writing to get all my anger and frustration out. However, I think the best thing to help a person is therapy. In recent years I've faced my past with the help of a counselor and I can't tell you how amazing it is just to talk to someone who has no connection to my past and only sees me for what I am today. Personally, it is difficult to write about it because it opens up old wounds and flashbacks to the time of the abuse, but it also gets it all out on paper so that when you think about it, it doesn't hold as much credence as it once did. As for the father being responsible, I can only say this: the only person that is going to save him is himself, but other people in the family need to be aware of the situation and get the child out of it. That's the only way to save them from more trauma in the end.

User avatar
john abbart
Posts: 2
Joined: 23 May 2018, 23:02
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by john abbart » 23 May 2018, 23:17

Therapy, therapy, therapy :-)

I say it over and over, but it’s true.

You will never completely overcome abuse, as my psychiatrist explained. There will always be damage, but you learn how to live with it and unlearn most damage behaviours. You heal. Some of the PTSD never quite goes away but it’s manageable, on the fringes of your life.

User avatar
Riszell
Posts: 272
Joined: 08 May 2017, 01:18
2018 Reading Goal: 50
2018 Reading Goal Completion: 116
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 362
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-riszell.html
Latest Review: Chancing Hope by Lisa Slater

Post by Riszell » 24 May 2018, 10:37

I think fighting back mistreatment is a just right. It is similar in bullying. You are the one who give the power to be bullied or not.
People find their own way of coping and comfort too. Anything that gives them a feel of serenity could help.
Each member of the family plays a role so everyone is responsible.
I think the best way to respond to traumatic experiences is to always surround oneself with good and understanding people.
I do think it's difficult to describe abusive situations as one might as well want to forget rather than relive them but writing them could be a way to let things go and move on from such experiences.

User avatar
Ghada TG
Posts: 29
Joined: 08 Jun 2017, 11:08
2017 Reading Goal: 10
2017 Reading Goal Completion: 30
Currently Reading: Heartaches
Bookshelf Size: 12
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ghada-tg.html
Latest Review: "Who Told You That You Were Naked?" by William Combs

Post by Ghada TG » 25 May 2018, 15:35

“I think the most curable way to overcome any type of trauma , is to relive it, yes at the beginning time is needed for it to heal and mend the physical repercussions of it but after a while the mind tries to shut it out and buried down in the subconscious and if that happen more emotional involuntary responses will certainly start to show its clause later on in life and therefore create more mental and emotional blockages.
the best way to stop these traumas from hunting us down is to revisit the stage , and relive the experience no matter how horrifying it is, once one steps away from the actual fear and shock of it , one can observe it from a distance and make a more sane realistic and forgiving judgment, thus it becomes merely an event that happened in the past once all those bottled up emotions are released, the traumatized memory would dissolute and be transformed into a neutral state, thus very easy to let go of and heal completely.”
Latest Review: "Who Told You That You Were Naked?" by William Combs

Post Reply

Return to “Discuss "Ironbark Hill" by Jennie Linnane”