Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?

Use this forum to discuss the February 2018 Book of the Month, "The Reel Sisters" by Michelle Cummings.
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Re: Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?

Post by LeaNyathi »

Women are so unique and special, but I must say that I don't particularly agree with the idea that you should have a variety of female friends that fulfills a specific role. That is very limiting in my opinion. One could have one best friend and they could be all you need.

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Post by DrHyde_not_Jekyll »

This really is an interesting topic! I actually get along with men much better than I do with women. I always have, and suspect I always will. That being said, I do have a few very close women friends. I've always thought they must be pretty similar in character traits and attitudes for me to feel so close to them, but this post made me think.

*Names changed for privacy.

Hazel is a "don't f**k with me" follower of Torah. She always looks to the spiritual, but isn't afraid to drop someone who is draining her emotionally and spiritually at the drop of a hat.

Malorie isn't afraid to speak up and speak her mind, especially if she sees injustice. To be honest, she fits more of the "stereotypical blond" that I usually wouldn't associate with. In fact, the first time I met her, she made such a naive comment I thought she was a special type of stupid. I laugh now that she is my longest friend -- and I'm so glad that I got the chance to know the real person underneath.

Lina is an introvert like me, and works as a psychologist. She is direct, and I never have to read between the lines to know what she is trying to say. She just says what she means.

Finally, Veronica is a bit of a lost soul. She, too, is unafraid to speak her mind, but has chosen a hard life. She found God later in life. I've been closer to her than any other person, and though we rarely talk or see each other now, when we do, it's like we never paused. My times growing up with her are some of the best in my life.

So, a huge range of personalities. But one thing I noticed that they all have, is lack of fear to speak their mind and stand up for what they believe in. Why do I associate with such people? I think it's because I lack this trait, and wish I didn't. I think subconsciously I'm hoping they'll rub off...

Thanks for starting this conversation! It was really thought provoking and fun for me to really sit and think about this.

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Post by SammiArch »

That is an interesting perspective and I do agree. I think that if you look at a groups of women who are friends, there are most likely at least a few of the same typical personalities. I think people don't necessarily realize it but they do all fulfil the same basic needs in their friendships and those needs are usually the same (ex the funny one, the flirty one, the nice one, etc)
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Post by P Reefer »

Certainly not, as friends should not be chosen by being a type. Most certainly the ideal friend should perhaps be a combination of the types so she may be a nurturer, sometimes a leader and at other times she allows you to help her when in need. Too great a dependence on a girlfriend to solve one's problem will soon be a lopsided relationship that will be doomed to fail.

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Post by kastle »

I see so many different ranges of friends from single and partying to more calm and mom-like friends and even friends who are incredibly religious and conservative. No friend is the same, we are all different in this world but I find it fascinating about the types of friends we end up being drawn to, especially since a lot of mine are nothing like me.

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Post by Mely918 »

That depends really. Different women may have their own ideas of what types of friends they should have. Personally, two of my friends, who happen to be twins, fit the caretaker who often puts others' needs over their own. I have another friend who does that too, but is also very artsy.

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Post by Chanti Stargirl »

I think there are certainly advantages to having a friendship circle that encompasses many different personalities. It may not be necessary but it does encourage growth and learning. I applaud the author for her portrayal for the friendships in this book.

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Post by ValBookReviews »

Other than 'fly fishing', I'm not sure what the author was attempting to illustrate to us the readers. But I certainly have a Rose and Veronica in my life and not too many Sophies, Amandas and Melodys as a similar range of personalities within my network.
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Post by Jgideon »

There are no specific types of friends that each woman should have. One's personality determines the kind of friends she should have. Well, some people don't have any friends...only acquaintances.

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Post by elivia05 »

Miriam Molina wrote:
05 Feb 2018, 15:29
It's the fly fishing that got everybody together, not that each planned to have specific personalities to be friends with. In my own life, I can identify a Rose, a Veronica, an Amanda, and a Melody. I think I'm a Sophie. Friends are a necessity in this harried world we live in. My friends and I can't afford an expensive hobby, but a videoke night would make a memorable reunion. (Just make sure you have enough mikes.)
I love this comment! I can identify a few of my friends with similar personalities to those in the book as well.

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Post by Kareka88 »

CommMayo wrote:
08 Feb 2018, 13:54

Because of my personality, I've always gravitated towards being friends with men. I don't like shopping, make up, or sitting around talking about "female" things. I'm generally better friends with my husband's friends than I am with their wives. I just have always just clicked with men more. It hasn't been until my 30's that I've started gravitating towards more friendships with other women.
I am very much like you. I tend to relate more with men. My husband gets along with women better. Who says we have to have a specific type of friend. I have many - both men and women. All ages, backgrounds, races, etc.
I have friends who are like me and I have friends who are very opposite. A mix is nice because those who are like you can relate to you. Those who are different than you can help you see another perspective. I guess the most important thing is to have people you can do life with.
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Post by holsam_87 »

Having friends with these personality archetypes will be harder for me. I am an introvert, so having a lot of different friends isn't part of who I am.
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Post by Scrawling Pen »

Great question! I don't know if it is necessarily types of friendships that a woman "should" have or rather friendships that a woman "could" have. I think it is great that the author included such a variety in personalities and backgrounds for each of these women. It shows that even unlikely of people can find something in common and become very close friends. The group as a whole works so well because they each bring something unique to it.

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Post by rumik »

I think we should simply have friends we care about instead of trying to think about people as "types of friends one should have". Just be friends with who you get along with instead of classifying people by types, I'd say.

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Post by LyorBoone »

I think the writer just wanted a good range of friends. Any ideal “perfect balance” will likely have some people that don’t agree or that would more comfortable with a different gathering of friends. In this story, sometimes it felt the situation was biggest differentiator of the characters in the group. There personal thoughts generally went back to the same situations. Sophie called V a city girl and Veronica used the label herself. Aside from Melody with inner conflict of “to do this or not to do this” and constant language in thought or mouth, I wonder if the first four reel sisters could switch roles and essentially be the same person, as their new situation would dictate.
“History doesn’t repeat itself, but it does rhyme” - Mark Twain. Dare we say the same thing about every story that gets told in the world?

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