Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?

Use this forum to discuss the February 2018 Book of the Month, "The Reel Sisters" by Michelle Cummings.
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Lest92
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Re: Do the women represent the specific types of friend each woman should have?

Post by Lest92 »

CommMayo wrote:
11 Feb 2018, 22:26
Lest92 wrote:
10 Feb 2018, 14:28
I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.
That is so very true! I find it is hard to make friends outside of "work friends," especially if you move as an adult. I mostly became friends with people already acquainted with my husband. It is hard to carve out time to work on personal relationships when careers and life seem to constantly be putting up road barriers.

Perhaps this books helps to remind us to work on fostering those friendships even if we feel like we don't have the time for it.

I agree - we shouldn't let work get in the way of maintaining closeness with other people, or let the friendship fade when there's a job change.

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Post by Jeyasivananth »

Well it cannot be denied that the author has consciously chosen women of different personality types and weaved a friendship between them . Maybe because artistically she felt the all women may be able to relate to the central characters in the book. However i wouldn't say that each woman SHOULD have these types of women in their live. Any relationship cannot be forced and i think we all gravitate towards the people who make us feel at ease and at home. So the focus is rather on the kind of emotions each woman evokes on the other rather than their individual personality types. So whatever be the personality type of the woman as long as they have a positive influence on you i guess they are for keeps. So in this case the friendship between Rose, Sophie , Veronica, Melody and Amanda sustained despite their apparent differences because of the healthy influence they had on each other and the positivism the relationship exuded.

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Post by CommMayo »

Jeyasivananth wrote:
12 Feb 2018, 16:15
Well it cannot be denied that the author has consciously chosen women of different personality types and weaved a friendship between them . Maybe because artistically she felt the all women may be able to relate to the central characters in the book. However i wouldn't say that each woman SHOULD have these types of women in their live.
Do you think this technique worked for you? Were you able to relate to or see one of your close friends in the characters the author created? This this add to your enjoyment of the book or help you draw any conclusions about your own relationships with friends?

(I love your profile picture, BTW)

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Post by Jeyasivananth »

Yes I was able one of my friends in Sophie s characters....she loves reaching out to people...ever ready to help them..always manages to make time.Me on the other hand is not very much like her..we r contrasting personalities in our convictions, beliefs, occupation.But our friendship sustains be cause I know I can always rely on her..N confide in her.

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Post by RebeccasReading »

Lest92 wrote:
10 Feb 2018, 14:28
I have acquaintances, but no real friends, though I think that having these archetypal friends around might be good for me. Nevertheless, one is lucky if one finds new friends in adulthood, since everyone starts getting set in their ways and more focused on their husbands, careers, and kids at this stage. Friendship like this kind seems to become an afterthought, if at all.
Making new friends as an adult is SO hard!!! That is the one benefit of getting involved in new activities (such as fly fishing)--it is a way to meet new people and make new friends. For example, I had friends ( a couple) who moved to a new city for the man's job. They joined a kickball league there just as a way to meet people. Their kickball teammates are now their closest friends in the area. All of the people on the team were others who were new to the area and trying to make friends. If they hadn't joined that league, none of them would have ever met. So if you are feeling a bit bored and would like to try to make new friends, those sorts of clubs and groups are one of the best ways! It's difficult at first to try something new outside of your comfort zone but in this case it will hopefully pay off.

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Post by CommMayo »

RebeccasReading wrote:
14 Feb 2018, 08:42
Making new friends as an adult is SO hard!!! That is the one benefit of getting involved in new activities (such as fly fishing)--it is a way to meet new people and make new friends. For example, I had friends ( a couple) who moved to a new city for the man's job. They joined a kickball league there just as a way to meet people. Their kickball teammates are now their closest friends in the area. All of the people on the team were others who were new to the area and trying to make friends. If they hadn't joined that league, none of them would have ever met. So if you are feeling a bit bored and would like to try to make new friends, those sorts of clubs and groups are one of the best ways! It's difficult at first to try something new outside of your comfort zone but in this case it will hopefully pay off.
I 100% agree with you on this! Moving to a new area as an adult is so tough. I really admire the people who are able to get themselves out there and meet new people right after getting to a new area. I've met a few people who are able to that, usually through a church group or hobby group.

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Post by Christina Rose »

bookowlie wrote:
05 Feb 2018, 12:51
CommMayo - Although it would be nice for women to have friends who are a range of personality types, I don't think this happens too often. Women often become friends with other women due to shared circumstances - working in the same company, neighbors, shared hobbies such as a monthly book club, their kids play together, their husbands are friends, etc. I don't necessarily think women seek out certain personality traits, although offensive traits would likely cause them to not become friends with certain people.

R-g-R - interesting analysis! I also thought the characters were too pigeon-holed. For example, Veronica is the successful career gal who is always cheerful, calm, and collected. Even during the horrible plane turbulence, she was busy helped a fellow passenger and never got unglued. I thought her character was a bit contrived and perfect - perfect job, perfect apartment, perfect husband. Amanda is a stereotype of the young military wife and mother who feels lonely and stressed out while her husband is away on deployment. It's true that the characters didn't get together regularly. That actually seemed realistic since some of the women didn't leave near each other or two of them had busy jobs.
I agree with you that most women become friends with other women due to shared circumstance, whether it be sharing classes growing up, or frequenting the same hangouts as adults.
I will say, though, that nowadays it is easier to specifically look for particular traits and interests in possible friends and companions.

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Post by Yolimari »

I think women and people should have any type of friends they want. The book portrays five different personalities, but I do not think the author is telling the readers they should have those specific kind of friends. I think the author, more than that, wanted the readers to see the power of friendship among women with different personalities. In other words, how people with different perspectives, backgrounds, and personalities come together, in this case through fly fishing.
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Post by Rosemary Okoko »

People have different characters and it would be impossible to have a particular type of friends. However much we try to have a certain type of friends, they'll turn out to be different types.

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Post by CommMayo »

Rosemary Okoko wrote:
25 Feb 2018, 07:39
People have different characters and it would be impossible to have a particular type of friends. However much we try to have a certain type of friends, they'll turn out to be different types.
Friendships are very organic in nature. Sometimes trying to hard to achieve a particular goal can cloud you from seeing other opportunities for friendships. But I also think it is important that people don't simply surround themselves with friends that create a total echo chamber. After all, it is our differences that make us great.

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In my own life, I can identify a Rose and Veronica. I don't think it's necessary to have a certain type of friend.

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Post by bookowlie »

Honestly, why do we need "certain" types of friends? It's wonderful to just have friends you feel comfortable with, feel a connection to, can laugh with, and relax with. It shouldn't matter what personality traits they have, what age they are, etc.
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Post by JuliaKay »

I do not think people are required to be a certain way to be a friend; we each make connections in different ways. I do have a Rose in my life, for sure though. I think it is most important for friends to take of one another and to reach out occasionally. There are certain depths to friendships though, and not everybody is going to be the same, and they do not need to be. Women friendships are very important; it is even said the women with genuine friendship live longer.
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Post by CatInTheHat »

R-g-R wrote:
05 Feb 2018, 07:41
Interesting!
The concept that perhaps women ‘should’ have specific friends covering all different types.
Perhaps it could be argued that the types in the book are too forced? That not all such women as these would actually be keen to engage in fly fishing?

And how to classify them? The businesswomen and single mum - check, plus the motherly career/nurturer - check, probably the sporty one is covered too as well as the arty/crafty one, the good listener, etc. Doesn’t this risk sounding like it’s heading into teenage female fiction, or even younger - tween groups of girlfriends?

Or, if the book is representative of the different types of friends every woman ‘should’ have, does that then suggest that women generally may not be able to enjoy all these types of friendships day-to-day? We see the Reel Sisters only getting together sporadically, rather than regularly. If they are held up as the desirable ideal, then perhaps all friendship groups with different types and different patterns of gathering are doomed?! :-O

What do others think?
I don't think it's something women intentionally seek. I think that for many of us, it's just something that happens naturally during the course of life.
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Post by CommMayo »

CatInTheHat wrote:
26 Feb 2018, 09:42
I don't think it's something women intentionally seek. I think that for many of us, it's just something that happens naturally during the course of life.
I agree with you. As I've transitioned into my mid-thirties, I've noticed that I am naturally becoming friends with a broader group of people.

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