Are unmarried women still treated as outcasts in rural communities?

Use this forum to discuss the January 2018 Book of the Month, "And Then I Met Margaret" by Rob White
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Re: Are unmarried women still treated as outcasts in rural communities?

Post by Asen Stoyanchev »

LoisCHenderson wrote: 04 Apr 2018, 07:11
Asen Stoyanchev wrote: 04 Apr 2018, 07:00 In my country the women who are not married are indeed considered outcasts. The things are drastically different in the big cities. I'd say that there is a tendency to live without a marriage.
Perhaps it is because, in the country, there is a dependence on the family as an economic unit (one thinks of the peasant families of yore) - it is interesting that, despite the influence of Communism on the Soviet Union, such an outlook still survives.
I guess that it all comes down to the fact that in the small villages the people are more conservative and old-school.
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Post by juliusotinyo »

Alex Asante wrote: 01 Apr 2018, 02:50 Yes unmarried people are still treated as outcast in the rural communities. The reason is because in ghana(prampram) age matters much in marriage so if you stay in the community for long and you are not married people see you to be
1. Being not able to give birth
2. Irresponsible person
3.over dependent on parents
4. Not hardworking
This and more are the reasons why unmarried people are treated as outcast in rural communities.
This also holds true in my part of the world. However, there's a slow shift towards the independent woman especially in urban areas. It might take some time before such ideals fade in the more agrarian regions.
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Post by yummybooks »

unmarried people are systematically discriminated against. They pay more for health and car insurance than married people do. They don’t get the same kind of tax breaks. Co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them.
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Post by Taurus_27496 »

Not just in rural areas, but unmarried woman are treated negatively by society. This is primarily because being married is considered as being "settled".
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Post by LoisCHenderson »

Taurus_27496 wrote: 05 Apr 2018, 03:39 Not just in rural areas, but unmarried woman are treated negatively by society. This is primarily because being married is considered as being "settled".
Is it so in nomadic societies, one wonders??
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Post by LoisCHenderson »

yummybooks wrote: 04 Apr 2018, 17:43 unmarried people are systematically discriminated against. They pay more for health and car insurance than married people do. They don’t get the same kind of tax breaks. Co-op boards, mortgage brokers, and landlords often pass them over. So do the employers with the power to promote them.
How is this treated in literature?
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Post by KLafser »

LoisCHenderson wrote: 31 Mar 2018, 23:36 White's recall of "old maids" being treated as social pariahs in the mill town where he grew up made me wonder: are unmarried women still discriminated against in relatively small, agrarian-based communities? If so, how is this reflected in the literature emanating from such areas? Please, where possible, give examples of such. As we on OnlineBookClub come from a vast range of cultures, it would be fascinating to see whether this phenomenon differs from one place to another.
Interesting question. I currently live in the US South and my real-life experience is that it is less about whether the woman is married and more about how engaged she is in the community. The unmarried recluse is still an outcast, but the independent woman working, earning her degree, or volunteering is not.

I see this represented in contemporary literature like The Dovekeepers (published in 2011) that is set in Biblical times and trumpets the strength of women, especially women working together and supporting each other. Some of the women had partners but that wasn't the center of the story. I also didn't perceive a stigma when one of them was pregnant without a man present in the relationship. The society accepted her as well as her son. In this particular book, these unwed women had a spirit of independence and confidence; they were portrayed as more near the center of the society rather than as pariahs.
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Post by LoisCHenderson »

KLafser wrote: 05 Apr 2018, 13:15
LoisCHenderson wrote: 31 Mar 2018, 23:36 White's recall of "old maids" being treated as social pariahs in the mill town where he grew up made me wonder: are unmarried women still discriminated against in relatively small, agrarian-based communities? If so, how is this reflected in the literature emanating from such areas? Please, where possible, give examples of such. As we on OnlineBookClub come from a vast range of cultures, it would be fascinating to see whether this phenomenon differs from one place to another.
Interesting question. I currently live in the US South and my real-life experience is that it is less about whether the woman is married and more about how engaged she is in the community. The unmarried recluse is still an outcast, but the independent woman working, earning her degree, or volunteering is not.

I see this represented in contemporary literature like The Dovekeepers (published in 2011) that is set in Biblical times and trumpets the strength of women, especially women working together and supporting each other. Some of the women had partners but that wasn't the center of the story. I also didn't perceive a stigma when one of them was pregnant without a man present in the relationship. The society accepted her as well as her son. In this particular book, these unwed women had a spirit of independence and confidence; they were portrayed as more near the center of the society rather than as pariahs.
Thank you so much for your thought-provoking reply. Must think about this, and then get back to you.
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Post by LoisCHenderson »

I love your clever turn of phrase re 'engaged': 'engaged' in terms of the community, but, of course, with marital connotations. Your ability to distinguish between the different types of 'independent' women is admirable. The Dovekeepers is also a TV miniseries,as, no doubt, you know (but others might not) - both the book and the miniseries are well worth looking into. Thank you so much for bringing them to our attention.
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Post by KLafser »

LoisCHenderson wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 00:59 I love your clever turn of phrase re 'engaged': 'engaged' in terms of the community, but, of course, with marital connotations. Your ability to distinguish between the different types of 'independent' women is admirable. The Dovekeepers is also a TV miniseries,as, no doubt, you know (but others might not) - both the book and the miniseries are well worth looking into. Thank you so much for bringing them to our attention.
Good catch on "engaged" - it wasn't intentional and I didn't catch it until you pointed it out. HA! I found out about the mini-series after my local book club read the book. It wasn't one I would have picked - totally the reason I participate in book clubs - but I ended up really enjoying it.

I did find it fascinating that The Dovekeepers had a feminist take on a Biblical time. Seems to me, that even in times where we describe women as suppressed, they still have power, they have their own network, and they make the world run. Whether that's raising the next generation, maintain the business of the household, or managing a career (or, all of the above), women are powerful. For me, it's more about mutual respect and appreciation than it is about gender as a whole.
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Post by LoisCHenderson »

KLafser wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 08:51
LoisCHenderson wrote: 06 Apr 2018, 00:59 I love your clever turn of phrase re 'engaged': 'engaged' in terms of the community, but, of course, with marital connotations. Your ability to distinguish between the different types of 'independent' women is admirable. The Dovekeepers is also a TV miniseries,as, no doubt, you know (but others might not) - both the book and the miniseries are well worth looking into. Thank you so much for bringing them to our attention.
Good catch on "engaged" - it wasn't intentional and I didn't catch it until you pointed it out. HA! I found out about the mini-series after my local book club read the book. It wasn't one I would have picked - totally the reason I participate in book clubs - but I ended up really enjoying it.

I did find it fascinating that The Dovekeepers had a feminist take on a Biblical time. Seems to me, that even in times where we describe women as suppressed, they still have power, they have their own network, and they make the world run. Whether that's raising the next generation, maintain the business of the household, or managing a career (or, all of the above), women are powerful. For me, it's more about mutual respect and appreciation than it is about gender as a whole.
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Post by Mwanyalo »

it is true even in Kenya,unmarried women are counted as an outcast.
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Post by Mwanyalo »

It is true even in Kenya,unmarried women are counted as an outcast. :roll: in fact, the reasons being, cultural values.If the husband did not commit to pay any traditions for the bride, and happens to be abusive to the wife, then the wife would return and stay unmarried .It is still the case even to those women who have not attempted to get married.They get into relationships where men are just after sexual satisfaction yet without marriage prompts.
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Post by Van112 »

From where I actually come from, Philippines, since it is very religious country bounded by faith, unmarried women are actually considered outcast. We give so much importance to the idea of marriage. But i think as time have modernized, we have been over that stage. No, I believe that married woman are already welcome into the society.
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Post by kate_nguyen »

In Vietnam, YES. Married is still an achievement for both women and men who live in both rural and urban areas. We as a younger generation try to lessen the importance of married but it is still something we need to consider soon or later.
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