Are unmarried women still treated as outcasts in rural communities?

Use this forum to discuss the January 2018 Book of the Month, "And Then I Met Margaret" by Rob White
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mamalui
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Re: Are unmarried women still treated as outcasts in rural communities?

Post by mamalui » 22 May 2018, 12:02

Yes very much so. There was once a house were I was renting and two girls fought. It was bad and even the police were involved. So as the matter was being settled they were taken taken to the area government official and guess what was the very first question he asked? "are any of you married?". I thought it odd as it had nothing to do with what happened. After being told that none of the girls had husbands he proceeded to tell them that if even one of them had a man living with them. None of what happened would have happened. This was a place where girls were given for marriage at the age of 12 mind you. It goes without saying the type of mentality that ruled and how sad life can be.
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Post by mamalui » 22 May 2018, 12:05

LoisCHenderson wrote:
03 Apr 2018, 09:46
Oh dear, my mistake (sincere apologies [and in the meantime have outed myself!]), but that's at least because I've always heard that left-handed people are more creative and intelligent than right-handed people. I think that regarding left-handedness as an aberration is just because unenlightened people tend to be afraid of anything that is different to themselves. I would feel greatly honoured to be left-handed - you should count yourself fortunate!
Why thank you Lois I am left handed and super proud of it. :tiphat:
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Post by Jgideon » 31 May 2018, 06:19

Yes, unmarried women are still treated quite differently compared to their married counterparts. I have been born and raised in a community where every lady is supposed to be married otherwise they face some form of stigma from the society. It's sad but true.

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Post by JR Mercier » 01 Jun 2018, 04:43

There is definitely a stigma associated with an older woman not being married and this happens everywhere although I do believe it's harder in rural communities.

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Post by Shrabastee » 15 Jun 2018, 02:46

I don't know about rural areas, but in my social structure, I have found this 'old maid' theme to be quite prevalent even in so-called modernized metropolitan cities. After a certain age, people (including your parents, relatives, distant relatives, neighbours and entirely unknown ones) become overly interested in marrying you off. If you do not agree, you're too arrogant; if you still keep maintaining an unmarried status, you're a subject of much gossip; if you get older while in the same status, you're just a miserable, sympathy-requiring sad old maid. No matter how advanced people think they are, they seem to be stuck in a mental make-up worthy of the stone age!

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Post by joycechitwa » 19 Jul 2018, 08:44

With women empancipation and empowering of the girl child, an interesting scenario has arisen whereby women are increasingly attaining higher education levels than previously, and getting ahead professionally than in times past. Since not all men are able to match these impressive achievements, these high performing women start to be viewed as "threatening" to the men of average means. I mean, who would like to marry a wife who has higher academic achievements, is ranked more highly at work and/or earns more than the man? This dilemma finds many a professional lady in limbo as far as marriage is concerned.

Having said that, my take is that as long as the man and woman are committed to the marriage and each other, and are willing to fully take up their role irrespective of other socio-economic factors, then they should not be afraid of joining together in holy matrimony.

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Post by Kister Bless » 23 Jul 2018, 11:52

It's so unfortunate that some unmarried women are being treated as outcasts in rural communities and even in towns. I wish it stopped because some of those unmarried women have their reasons as to why they are still unmarried. Others it's not even their wish.

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Post by booklysis » 13 Aug 2018, 09:00

Unmarried women, both educated and uneducated are considered as a burden in the rural community. There is some problem with the rural norms and beliefs in this regard.

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Post by Babarino » 21 Aug 2018, 20:40

I think in rural communities so much of life revolves around marriage and kids that you are considered to have not started your life until you have a family.

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Post by Bushra Nasim » 09 Sep 2018, 15:11

Although marriage is an important chapter in one's life, it shouldn't be forced, or else the consequences are hard to bear for both the partners.

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Post by Cash-Centered Creep » 25 Nov 2018, 07:57

LoisCHenderson wrote:
31 Mar 2018, 23:36
White's recall of "old maids" being treated as social pariahs in the mill town where he grew up made me wonder: are unmarried women still discriminated against in relatively small, agrarian-based communities? If so, how is this reflected in the literature emanating from such areas? Please, where possible, give examples of such. As we on OnlineBookClub come from a vast range of cultures, it would be fascinating to see whether this phenomenon differs from one place to another.
I'm reminded in reading this about the nasty phenomenon of 'mariji-harasumento' (marriage harassment) in Japan, where women are pressurized into marrying before they turn 25, or they are labelled as 'Christmas cake' - i.e. past their sell-by-date, just as actual Christmas cake is considered something no-one wants after December 25. So the problem has applications in cultures beyond rural communities.

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