Does Anyone Else Struggle to Identify with the Author?

Use this forum to discuss the January 2018 Book of the Month, "And Then I Met Margaret" by Rob White
EllieA
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Re: Does Anyone Else Struggle to Identify with the Author?

Post by EllieA »

For me, I don't have to necessarily identify with the author to respect the lessons he is imparting. I agree that complaints about struggling in a high-roller lifestyle can seem trite, but that kind of underscores the unity of the human experience. We all are searching for happiness, meaning, and where to find these things. And White is engaged, throughout his whole life, when young and poor as well as when older and wealthier, in the same search for a "guru."
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Post by shraddharm »

jwalker73 wrote: 22 Jan 2018, 18:50 I also struggled with relating to his stories, mainly as his goals were completely different to mine, as were his priorities. While he told of some valuable lessons, they were not told in a context that I could personally identify with.
I would totally agree with you. It was hard for me to keep up with what he wanted to tell us. It took me sometime to grasp what he wanted for us to feel and read but that just made me lose my interest a little bit.
-R
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Post by Jesi_Brooks »

I agree with all of you folks! But we have to give him credit he did write an amazing book which I'd say helps all of us today being Realistic
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Philip Chepsingil
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Post by Philip Chepsingil »

Jesi_Brooks wrote: 08 May 2018, 15:56 I agree with all of you folks! But we have to give him credit he did write an amazing book which I'd say helps all of us today being Realistic
True, the author deserves some credit, even though you may have not agree with him in the way he has presented his ideas, he creatively wrote the book with an aim to inspire others. Some have been inspired through reading this book.
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Post by mamalui »

jaylperry wrote: 22 Jan 2018, 21:01 I could relate with his journey all the way through his teaching career. I relate, too, with the desire to start something new and big. But mostly, I relate to the issues of his inner life––the struggles, fears, anger, cockiness––that show through even in the most unrelatable specific circumstances.
I second this even though I have not finished reading the book.
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RASchneider wrote: 25 Jan 2018, 10:19 I identified closely with his experience growing up in a mill town (mine was a mining town), being the only person to go to college (we had more than one, but I'd say 80% stayed to work the mines), and struggling with impostor syndrome at a major university. THOSE are good stories. I identify with their authenticity.

Beyond that point, it becomes clear (to me) that the reason for writing the book is to attract clients to his business (Motivational Speaking). Concluding the book with a web address inviting readers to continue their self-help journey cheapened every worthwhile message in the story. Again... IMO, YMMV, FWIW, etc.
Well, I agree with you that the book is one of the author's tools to attract clients to his business. The money factor!
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Post by Jgideon »

I have read and reviewed the book. I agree that I had struggles identifying with the author, especially in the last chapters. However, it was not about his possessions but with how he changed from the sweet young child to a more egocentric person. For instance, as a child, he had defied the orders of a police officer to save a deer. In the last chapters, he could not defy the advice of a tour guide to save a dying child. Now that's something I am yet to understand.
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Post by Laura Ungureanu »

We were constantly reminded of the author's wealth and I think this is not something an ordinary reader likes to see. The first part of the story was so much better than when he started getting rich. I felt like I couldn't relate to that, so I was unable to learn the lessons properly.
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Laura Ungureanu wrote: 07 Jun 2018, 10:26 We were constantly reminded of the author's wealth and I think this is not something an ordinary reader likes to see. The first part of the story was so much better than when he started getting rich. I felt like I couldn't relate to that, so I was unable to learn the lessons properly.
Totally agree. The first chapters where he's learning how to be an adult are universal. His later chapters where he learns not to care so much about his $100 shirt getting stained, less universal I think, haha. I wish I had $100 to blow on a shirt.
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Post by 10mile72 »

I think a lot of these books seem to focus on the successful and wealthy segment of society. What about the struggles of people living in Harlem? :?
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Post by Shrabastee Chakraborty »

I feel the same way. While his childhood and teenage stories and lessons learned from them were something I could relate to, I did not like the stories regarding running with bulls, driving racing cars, flying in a biplane and so on. These stories were probably important lessons for him, and the morals we can learn from them are often helpful in our own context. But I simply did not like the author's context. I know he has had his fair share of struggles and has come out with flying colours, but still the stories portray him as something of an egotistical and self-absorbed person. Having said that, I must also admit that he was pretty honest in describing his faults and the ways in which he got reprieved for them.
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Post by EvaDar »

Gunnar Ohberg wrote: 21 Jan 2018, 15:30 I am not holding anything against Rob White personally; in fact, I am very happy for him and his successes. However, I did struggle to empathize with him as he was learning lessons that involved running with the bulls, declining helicopter rides, doing tricks in a biplane, and lending out his Porsche. I related more with him during the first half of his book (his childhood), which I would argue made its lessons feel more effective. Again, I am not disparaging his wealth, I'm only exploring the relative nature of his lessons. What do you all think?
-Gunnar
I am late to this thread, but I'm compelled to respond because wow, did I have a difficult time relating to Rob White's story. We all find our way, and I don't diminish Rob's experiences. He has had an interesting life. I just don't know how much stock should be placed in him as an inspirational figure. His words and his behaviors often appeared arrogant, self-centered, and lacking in empathy, to me. And the fact that each story matched the very same formula felt implausible. I find I didn't trust he was writing nonfiction.
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Post by HanElizabeth397 »

I agree! I felt like the stories about the bull and the porshe just weren't as insightful or meaningful as the early ones. He became less relatable as the book went on.
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Post by EvaDar »

HanElizabeth397 wrote: 13 May 2020, 10:24 I agree! I felt like the stories about the bull and the porshe just weren't as insightful or meaningful as the early ones. He became less relatable as the book went on.
I had the same experience. The book is interesting, and I think some of the stories are compelling. As the book progressed, though, I felt the author became less credible, and the book resembled formulaic fiction writing.
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Post by kipper_ »

His wealth gives him a different perspective and different experiences that the rest of us might, so it makes sense to identify that contrast. I don't think it makes his insights less valuable though. Even if you cannot relate fully to his experiences or the motives he has for wanting to achieve certain goals, the general message from each chapter can be applied in your own unique way.
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