What did you think of the author and his journey?

Use this forum to discuss the January 2018 Book of the Month, "And Then I Met Margaret" by Rob White
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What did you think of the author and his journey?

Post by SPasciuti »

I thought about this a lot as I was reading and I have a feeling that it probably came up for a number of you as well, but what did you think of the author? He's a rather prominent feature of the book as he describes his encounters with each of these "gurus," ultimately moving on to give an account of how he himself turned around the lessons that he learned from the people in his life.

I found him to be a rather interesting person with a fair amount of character to him. I think there's definitely something respectable in the fact that he considered the people around him important teachers, almost implying that every person we meet has a lesson for us to teach us how to live our lives in a more meaningful and impactful way. And I appreciate his desire to learn from each of those people.

At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
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Post by story3girl »

I really didn't care for him. His journey seemed to be in the direction of gaining more money, fame, and popularity for himself.
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Post by Scrawling Pen »

I had mixed feelings about the author. I found him just the slightest bit arrogant at times, but I certainly do not think that this was his intention. He had some very interesting stories, and I think it would be fun to hear more about his life. I agree that at times he seemed self-absorbed, but he almost addressed this character flaw himself in the story with Margaret. In the end there are times when we all need reminded that the world doesn't revolve around us alone.
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Post by Kathryn Price »

SPasciuti wrote: 10 Jan 2018, 16:16
At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
I agree. I appreciated his examples as well, maybe so much so that I didn't really consider that it seems a little arrogant until I started discussing on this forum (after I posted my review!). My feelings are a little mixed now, too, though it is an autobiography, so talking about himself and what he's learned throughout his life is natural for the book type.
“If you believe only in facts and forget stories, your brain will live, but your heart will die” ― Cassandra Clare, Lord of Shadows
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Post by SPasciuti »

missiontrainer2000 wrote: 12 Jan 2018, 13:20
SPasciuti wrote: 10 Jan 2018, 16:16
At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
I agree. I appreciated his examples as well, maybe so much so that I didn't really consider that it seems a little arrogant until I started discussing on this forum (after I posted my review!). My feelings are a little mixed now, too, though it is an autobiography, so talking about himself and what he's learned throughout his life is natural for the book type.
Hahah, yeah. I remember while reading it that I came back to check other people's opinions and it sort of cemented my prior thought that he seemed a little full of himself. But, yeah. I dunno. The more I think about it, part of me wonders if the pat on the back thing he kind of gives himself throughout his narrative is kind of important? Not because I think he should feel full of himself, but rather because if he didn't feel like he was taking these lessons and teaching them to others, his advice would be less about passing on the experiences and teachings of life and more about simply saying something like, "this is how you should be."

I'm kind of back and forth on it, lately. Cause as I read it, I hated that he always had a really convienent story for how he passed on the lesson. But at the same time, I'm a HUGE believer in Pay it Forward and, ultimately, he at least made sincere efforts to do so, which means something to me. So I think mixed feelings on him as a person is a really natural place to be as far as opinions go.
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Post by Kathryn Price »

SPasciuti wrote: 12 Jan 2018, 15:34
missiontrainer2000 wrote: 12 Jan 2018, 13:20
SPasciuti wrote: 10 Jan 2018, 16:16
At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
I agree. I appreciated his examples as well, maybe so much so that I didn't really consider that it seems a little arrogant until I started discussing on this forum (after I posted my review!). My feelings are a little mixed now, too, though it is an autobiography, so talking about himself and what he's learned throughout his life is natural for the book type.
Hahah, yeah. I remember while reading it that I came back to check other people's opinions and it sort of cemented my prior thought that he seemed a little full of himself. But, yeah. I dunno. The more I think about it, part of me wonders if the pat on the back thing he kind of gives himself throughout his narrative is kind of important? Not because I think he should feel full of himself, but rather because if he didn't feel like he was taking these lessons and teaching them to others, his advice would be less about passing on the experiences and teachings of life and more about simply saying something like, "this is how you should be."

I'm kind of back and forth on it, lately. Cause as I read it, I hated that he always had a really convienent story for how he passed on the lesson. But at the same time, I'm a HUGE believer in Pay it Forward and, ultimately, he at least made sincere efforts to do so, which means something to me. So I think mixed feelings on him as a person is a really natural place to be as far as opinions go.
I agree! I think that his examples of how he taught others is a part of the reason I liked it so much - I've never read a book that actually showed how the author learned the lessons that he talks about. And Pay It Forward is so important in my mind because it's an extension of the Golden Rule. It's hard to tell whether I should like it or not, though.
“If you believe only in facts and forget stories, your brain will live, but your heart will die” ― Cassandra Clare, Lord of Shadows
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Post by Nyota15 »

I think the author is very interesting but at the same time i think his journey was super complicated 🧐
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Post by Chelsy Scherba »

I really want to read this book now and see how the author applied each lesson he learned. It sounds interesting and inspiring.
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Post by Annamikov »

Complicated feelings about the author and his journey, however after reading his stories and books, it feels as if I got a glimpse of his personality and his soul. It seems beautiful how I can simply get known to a person through his writing.
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Post by SPasciuti »

Annamikov wrote: 13 Jan 2018, 09:36 Complicated feelings about the author and his journey, however after reading his stories and books, it feels as if I got a glimpse of his personality and his soul. It seems beautiful how I can simply get known to a person through his writing.
I completely agree! I think this works especially well in memoirs, really, and not as often in self-help books (so far that I've read, anyway) I've gotten to know a lot of people I've never met simply by reading the things they've written about themselves and I love having that insight. And you can learn so much about them. For instance, here, not only do we get light shed on his childhood, but we know about how he grew into the person he was. I'd say we can make inferences on his character and personality from what we've read, though admittedly I wont say we can be sure about everything we assume. Either way, it's fascinating.
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Post by Gikonyo Caroline »

Rob White's journey is one of challenging self limiting myths and being a student of life. Rob potrays himself as a person with a teachable spirit not afraid to unlearn stuff that doesn't make sense such as the myths and learn new ideas or concepts that work which he calls truth. I think this is one of the character traits that have propelled him to great personal success. He is open to learning and humble enough to learn from ordinary people or children like Debbie and Margaret something most adults often ignore or look down upon which is something I admired most about him. Rob's journey is also one of searching for his purpose which I can relate to because I often felt that I was successful on the outside but spiritually bankrupt on the inside until I embarked on a purpose journey and began to work in my area of passion. Rob has a generous spirit and he is not afraid to pass on the lessons he has learnt to others in need. Not only is he relatable, he is also humorous and often wears his heart on his sleeve when he speaks of his failures in business especially when the earthquake brought his three million business investments to nought it or when he is afraid as he goes on flight stunts with his wife.
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Post by N_R »

SPasciuti wrote: 10 Jan 2018, 16:16 I thought about this a lot as I was reading and I have a feeling that it probably came up for a number of you as well, but what did you think of the author? He's a rather prominent feature of the book as he describes his encounters with each of these "gurus," ultimately moving on to give an account of how he himself turned around the lessons that he learned from the people in his life.

I found him to be a rather interesting person with a fair amount of character to him. I think there's definitely something respectable in the fact that he considered the people around him important teachers, almost implying that every person we meet has a lesson for us to teach us how to live our lives in a more meaningful and impactful way. And I appreciate his desire to learn from each of those people.

At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
I actually agree with you that he became somewhat self-absorbed as the book went on. It is like he is some amazing person who manages to teach others lessons as well as learn from every little thing in his life. His wife hardly ever features...so what did he learn from his marriage and partnership? It seems to be a lot of business and finance as well as how to respond to people.
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Post by N_R »

Nyota15 wrote: 12 Jan 2018, 21:23 I think the author is very interesting but at the same time i think his journey was super complicated 🧐
Do you think that any of the stories in the book have been embellished in some way? Or are they told exactly as they happened?
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Post by SPasciuti »

N_R wrote: 14 Jan 2018, 16:46
SPasciuti wrote: 10 Jan 2018, 16:16 I thought about this a lot as I was reading and I have a feeling that it probably came up for a number of you as well, but what did you think of the author? He's a rather prominent feature of the book as he describes his encounters with each of these "gurus," ultimately moving on to give an account of how he himself turned around the lessons that he learned from the people in his life.

I found him to be a rather interesting person with a fair amount of character to him. I think there's definitely something respectable in the fact that he considered the people around him important teachers, almost implying that every person we meet has a lesson for us to teach us how to live our lives in a more meaningful and impactful way. And I appreciate his desire to learn from each of those people.

At times I found him a little self-absorbed, particularly when he would always have a very convient example for how he passed on these lessons that he learned. But I also appreciated that, oddly enough, if only because it's rather useless to say we learned a lesson from someone and not have an example of how we put that lesson into practice, wouldn't you say? If we didn't, I imagine that it would be arguable that we didn't actually learn the lesson at all. Rob White seems like a very thoughtful and interesting guy and I imagine he'd be rather fascinating to sit down and have a conversation with.
I actually agree with you that he became somewhat self-absorbed as the book went on. It is like he is some amazing person who manages to teach others lessons as well as learn from every little thing in his life. His wife hardly ever features...so what did he learn from his marriage and partnership? It seems to be a lot of business and finance as well as how to respond to people.
Yes! I saw a lot of that in his book. I find it kind of strange that he didn't seem to be impacted very much by the woman he married, but rather more about those involved in business. Admittedly, I get that he in part is attempting to help people be successful, but this book is described as motivational, isn't it? And at that point, I just wonder where her big impact came from--because the story about how he did something he was afraid of at her encouragement wasn't really all that inspiring because it ultimately came down to Rob at the end suggesting we should set limits.

And I completely agree that we should, of course, when it comes to others convincing us to do things we're not too keen on doing, but I just wished that she had taught him something else that was positive rather than that he came to a conclusion based on the fact that he wasn't overly fond of the plane ride she'd encouraged him to take. I dunno, I guess I'm just surprised that the person he decided to marry didn't teach him much.
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Post by KitabuKizuri »

I never thought the author to be self absorbed while reading the book (he learnt a lesson at the airport cupcake scenario). His inclusion of his own examples of 'passing it on' are efforts in trying to influence the reader. I think our tendency to overtly reward or judge philanthropic people is the reason we need to 'hide' our charitable deeds from the left hand while doing it with the right.
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