What trauma have you overcame?

Discuss the September 2017 Book of the Month, Bluewater Walkabout: Into Africa: Finding Healing Through Travel by Tina Dreffin.


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Amagine
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What trauma have you overcame?

Post by Amagine » 02 Sep 2017, 13:50

In the book, we see the author experience a trauma. We also see her overcome the trauma and is even able to speak on it.

What trauma have you overcame in your life? What advice do you have for someone going through the same thing?
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown

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Post by kandscreeley » 02 Sep 2017, 19:37

I think we all have our own traumas. I believe they are all different sizes, but they all still affect us. It doesn't have to be something huge to influence our lives. Maybe it's one comment someone makes.
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Post by Ljessup » 02 Sep 2017, 19:41

I think my advice for trauma is to make sure you don't go through it alone. I know that I am someone who likes to try and get through things alone and take my own time with my own feelings instead of allowing others in to help me through it. I have realized that it is much better and easier on my heart to accept the love from others that want to help!

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Post by Ferdinand_otieno » 02 Sep 2017, 22:50

I think traumas are a means of making us strong. Mine is the fear of crossing the road ever since I got hit by a car as a child. To overcome this, I had to cross empty streets repeatedly first then busy ones next. It took my 2 years.

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Post by AliceofX » 03 Sep 2017, 02:57

kandscreeley wrote:I think we all have our own traumas. I believe they are all different sizes, but they all still affect us. It doesn't have to be something huge to influence our lives.
I agree with this. We're all so different that what might be nothing to someone is a catastrophe to another. Some people might not even like to share their stories because they might seem so minor to others. Sometimes it's just hard to express how deeply things have affected us.

If I had to name the two biggest ones it would be childhood sickness (the type you stay in the hospital for a long time) and my parent's divorce. Those are the two that I see affecting me to this day.

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Post by Amagine » 03 Sep 2017, 05:06

I am fortunate enough to say that I haven't been through a major trauma. My advice to those who have been would be to open up and talk to someone about it. The more you talk about it, the less power it has over you.
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Post by Lest92 » 03 Sep 2017, 08:16

I think overcoming a trauma is a process, and as kandscreely said, they don't have to be huge events but can be an accumulation of little things. I'm still outgrowing an ugly duckling complex - it might not have been so bad had so many people not bullied me about what could not be helped.

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Post by Excitedreads » 03 Sep 2017, 08:49

I've had two traumatising experiences :one was losing my first son after he fought hard in the hospital for nine days, the other was identifying my mom after she was murdered. They've both taught me that every situationnis different even if it appears the same on the outside. Kendscreeley is right, each scale and size of trauma differs from person to person. Plus perception is a hell of a thing. To me, handling it is also very tied to what and where you are at in life. Something may hit you when you were already down and out, and it may seem impossibke to move forward, whereas the same thing may hit you when you were shining brightly, and it may easier to take with a pinch of salt. My best advice is talk to God. He never gives you more than you can bare. And never shoulder it alone. Closing off only makes it worse.
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Post by Christina Rose » 03 Sep 2017, 12:13

Ljessup wrote:I think my advice for trauma is to make sure you don't go through it alone. I know that I am someone who likes to try and get through things alone and take my own time with my own feelings instead of allowing others in to help me through it. I have realized that it is much better and easier on my heart to accept the love from others that want to help!
I agree. Instinctually, I will try to handle everything on my own. But as I accept the help of others, I am better able to handle the situation.

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Post by RegularGuy3 » 03 Sep 2017, 22:21

This is by no means comparable to some that others have mentioned nor is it my biggest. But when I was about five I was eating lunch alone (parents were tending to baby sibling) and I choked on a hot dog. Couldn't make a sound. Nearly passing out, I crawled to the kitchen sink, lifted myself up, and slammed my stomach against the counter as hard as I could over and over. As the lights were growing dim I just dropped all my weight on my sternum and out the dog popped into the sink. Took me a minute to gather myself. Just stood there staring at the hot dog in the sink, totally confused. Then for some reason unknown to me, I picked it up, put it back on my plate and ate it. It was weird (beyond obviously)--I felt like I beat that stupid hot dog in a fight to the death.

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Post by Amagine » 04 Sep 2017, 01:25

Excitedreads wrote:I've had two traumatising experiences :one was losing my first son after he fought hard in the hospital for nine days, the other was identifying my mom after she was murdered. They've both taught me that every situationnis different even if it appears the same on the outside. Kendscreeley is right, each scale and size of trauma differs from person to person. Plus perception is a hell of a thing. To me, handling it is also very tied to what and where you are at in life. Something may hit you when you were already down and out, and it may seem impossibke to move forward, whereas the same thing may hit you when you were shining brightly, and it may easier to take with a pinch of salt. My best advice is talk to God. He never gives you more than you can bare. And never shoulder it alone. Closing off only makes it worse.
I'm sorry for both of your losses. Also, I'm glad that God gave you the strength that you needed.
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown

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Post by MsTri » 04 Sep 2017, 15:12

My two most traumatizing events were losing my twin daughter to crib death, and being stuck in a marriage with a drug (crack) addict, which itself meant a life of mini-traumas, from being abused to being choked until I blacked out to being raped to waking up a week after Christmas to find all the children's gifts pawned. There were also the times he almost wrecked the car with us in it and the time he set the house on fire, again with us inside. I went through that for nearly 17 years, until I had him put in jail for abusing our son. It took another 2 years to afford a divorce.

My advice would be to talk to others rather than keeping it to oneself. I did reach out, but the cops were no help and others couldn't help. Still, it felt good knowing there were others in my corner, rooting for me.

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Post by KlareAllison » 04 Sep 2017, 15:57

The sudden passing of an elder brother on his way to a Valentine day dinner affected me profoundly. I lived in a state of shock for almost a year, I had to suspend my academic pursuits to enable me deal with it. My husband was very helpful at this time by putting his other interests on hold to be with me until I pulled through.
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Post by Amagine » 04 Sep 2017, 16:36

I'm sorry for everyone's tragic losses. You guys are all very strong individuals and I can only hope for an ounce of that strength.
"Piglet noticed that even though he had a very small heart, it could hold a rather large amount of gratitude." -A.A Milne

"I am grateful for all the books that sparked my imagination." -Unknown

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Post by Excitedreads » 04 Sep 2017, 21:52

Amagine wrote:
Excitedreads wrote:I've had two traumatising experiences :one was losing my first son after he fought hard in the hospital for nine days, the other was identifying my mom after she was murdered. They've both taught me that every situationnis different even if it appears the same on the outside. Kendscreeley is right, each scale and size of trauma differs from person to person. Plus perception is a hell of a thing. To me, handling it is also very tied to what and where you are at in life. Something may hit you when you were already down and out, and it may seem impossibke to move forward, whereas the same thing may hit you when you were shining brightly, and it may easier to take with a pinch of salt. My best advice is talk to God. He never gives you more than you can bare. And never shoulder it alone. Closing off only makes it worse.
I'm sorry for both of your losses. Also, I'm glad that God gave you the strength that you needed.
Thank you Amagine for your kind words, i pray you never have to go through anything similar

MsTri wrote:My two most traumatizing events were losing my twin daughter to crib death, and being stuck in a marriage with a drug (crack) addict, which itself meant a life of mini-traumas, from being abused to being choked until I blacked out to being raped to waking up a week after Christmas to find all the children's gifts pawned. There were also the times he almost wrecked the car with us in it and the time he set the house on fire, again with us inside. I went through that for nearly 17 years, until I had him put in jail for abusing our son. It took another 2 years to afford a divorce.

My advice would be to talk to others rather than keeping it to oneself. I did reach out, but the cops were no help and others couldn't help. Still, it felt good knowing there were others in my corner, rooting for me.
I'd of said i was sorry for your situation, but you don't need pity. You are quite strong and very courageous. I admire your persistence and strength. I hope that you never experience anything similar and i'm very happy for you that you sre out of it now.
Between the pages of a book is a lovely place to be...

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