Is to be submissive a must in marriage?

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Annelore Trujillo
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Re: Is to be submissive a must in marriage?

Post by Annelore Trujillo »

Definitely not. Being submissive means that the other person is in charge, and unequal relationships like that aren't good. I don't think that you should just go out and do whatever you want without thinking about what the other person wants, but you also don't need to do everything they say. There has to be communication and compromise, but not submissiveness.
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Post by Kourtney Bradley »

I believe marriage should be an equal give and take.
Certain things, like some of my friends are so shocked to see that I ask my husband's permission before going out or doing something without him, and he does the same for me. It's not really that we are asking for permission to do something, but more so that we respect the other enough to ask if they mind if we are away without them.
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Post by 0719672189 »

SandraD wrote:Yes. Both partners have to be submissive to one another for it to work. The Bible in Ephesians 5:21 advises so.
True there should be equality between the partners.
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Post by Cátia Rato »

I think a marriage is a partnership. You have to respect each other, you have to share your views and find an in between solution. Being submissive is destroying your personality and not give yourself fully to the other person.
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Post by Ljessup »

I completely disagree. I do not think that for a marriage to work either person has to conform to the will of others. Having different ideas and opinions are what keeps things wonderful and interesting. There should be no authority within a marriage where one feels they need to be obedient. I think that is unhealthy for everyone involved. Just because the way each individual handles life or choices within the marriage is different does not mean it has to be in an ugly way. My husband and I are very open people and disagree with each other on many different things, but we respect each other and there is never a moment that he has to conform to what I believe or vice versa. We are teammates, and have parents that we are obedient to. We do not set rules for each other to obey. That seems absurd to me, but people do things differently, and regardless of if my family and I do it similarly, or in a completely different way it is awesome to learn about how others might behave. :D
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Post by breyfoglese »

Sometimes - not always, though. I think at a certain point you have to decide if something's worth sticking up for, even at the cost of the relationship, and if it's not, let it go. If my partner didn't respect my autonomy and tried to keep me from accepting a promotion, for example, that wouldn't be something I'm willing to submit on. But if it's really important to my partner that I not take a job that would lead to me spending a lot of time away from the family, that might be. And that might be the same incident! I'd have to consider both that it limits my autonomy and that it helps my partner feel valued and secure in the relationship, and determine if it was something I'm willing to fight for. Hopefully, if it was, my partner would respect that, and in a healthy relationship we could have a dialogue about it.
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Post by Fictions Mistress »

Definitely not. The most successful marriages, or relationships for that matter, are about two equals. It isn't about the woman being submissive or the man being submissive, it's about two people working together.
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Post by Gikonyo Caroline »

Yes but this is often misconstrued to mean slavery which is not the case.
A man and woman are equal partners in marriage but with different needs who come together to complement and serve one another. A man's primary need is respect and honour whereas a woman's primary need is security . submission means to understand his love language in matters respect and honour. "How do I as a woman demonstrate respect and honour to my man?" " Every man wants to know I have what it takes"
However the man must do his part because respect/honour is earned and a secure woman in marriage finds it easy to submit to her husband. "Every woman wants to know she is worth fighting for."
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Post by Sasha Walker »

Being submissive in a marriage is never the way to go. Both partners have to be autonomous people with their own interests and goals. What makes a marriage rewarding is not living according to the will of your partner but rather finding common desires and compromising in order to live together.
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Post by Ashley Simon »

I'd give an emphatic no. In order to succeed long-term, all relationships (whether romantic or not) come with some sort of give and take. But to be submissive implies the idea of permanent self-subjugation, and I don't think this is healthy in any kind of relationship. Once you start losing yourself to the other person, the relationship becomes toxic. Of course, this is easier said in theory than put into practice in reality.
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Post by Elle Howard »

I think it is more important to have equality and willingness to compromise. To me, submission means one partner has been silenced in the relationship. Eventually that has to create some resentment.
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Post by Oliver Ekaso »

The woman owes her husband submission. The husband owes his wife love. That is the way the bible puts it. If the wife goes the extra to love her husband, she is guaranteed to enjoy the marriage, otherwise she is in for endurance.
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Post by Scrawling Pen »

A healthy marriage should not include a dominant and submissive power struggle. A healthy marriage should be based off of equality and partnership. There will be times when compromise is necessary, but it should be a decision from both sides.
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Post by Mailis »

I think equality in best, knowing each others strenghts and weaknesses you have to find a balance and support when support is needed and allow yourself to ask for help when your partner might me better at something. And never ever ridicule mistakes or try to boost your ego at the cost of your partner.
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Post by dphelps1113 »

No! It should be equal and it makes it so much more fun to switch up the roles between two lovers.
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