Review of The Assignment
1 posts
[Following is a volunteer review of "The Assignment" by Shayla C. Freeman.]
The writing tense seems to switch back and forth between past and present. As I continued reading, it quickly became apparent numerous errors with the writing tenses; although the general meaning remains understandable, recognizing the mistakes (and how often they occurred) takes away from the reading experience. Furthermore, at some points in the story, several run on sentences would have greatly benefitted from a comma, as well as some punctuation marks. Some sentences ended on a questioning tone of voice, but used a period, as an example. There were also numerous misused phrases ('As far as business' which should have meant 'As for business'; 'hour of the lady' used as a description in a normal, every day scene for a first meeting), or wrong words used in general ('through Spain' when it should have been 'from Spain'). I also found several grammatical errors through the story ('then' rather than 'than'; 'its' instead of 'it's'), mistakes in both point of views as well as capitalization. Was the number given in the story necessary, or something that would be relevant later on?
Something that bothered me as well was the use of 'ok' instead of 'okay'. Although 'ok' as a word is considered grammatically correct, it is still used mostly for informal writing, with 'OK' and 'okay' being the standard use for literature.
At several points there were small breaks in disbelief; in one instance, naivety from a character who's supposed to be professional, and yet disclosed quite intimate information from themselves for a person they didn't even check for a license or ask additional questions to check their legitimacy.
There were also the brand name drops, which feel irrelevant to the story if they were not there for advertisement.
It feels as if the author wanted to show their eloquence by adding unnecessary descriptors in their sentence or by adding higher-grade level words ('love abounded' in comparison to 'love was never lacking'), making some sentences feel out of place. Several times did I also find redundant words ('new growth').
Some abbreviated terms could have been explained at least for their first appearance.
While readers who are involved in the medical field may understand the terms and procedures being announced by the characters, other readers will be lost, and may find themselves severely confused on what any of it means about the patient's condition. Rather, is there a need to describe the technical parts in such detail? It is a novel and not a medical report, after all. Furthermore, with the amount of descriptions about the places and venues the characters visited if not passed by, it gave off the feeling of a tour pamphlet. Did the main character feel so strongly about each place she passed by that she constantly thought about their trivia?
As for the romance itself, I barely felt any chemistry between the two leads. Even in their thoughts, I didn't feel as if they actually liked each other; I didn't feel any tension. Or rather, while the characters themselves said they liked each other, I, as the reader, wasn't convinced. Did they really like each other that much? It felt as if they barely flirted or emotionally affected by each other, if not forced by the plot.
There were, admittedly, a few moments in the story where I felt as if they were attracted to each other, especially in the latter half. However the build up didn't feel in proportion to the pay off.
As a whole, it felt as if the author put more emphasis in the small moments; describing each scene as much as possible, even when not much is happening. It felt like a travel anecdote going around the country; as a whole it felt dry. The action scenes felt weak as well, with no sense of urgency or adrenaline.
For a romance, I hoped to be charmed by the main characters, if not by their romance, or at least the events in the story, but it was a shame.
******
The Assignment
View: on Bookshelves |
The writing tense seems to switch back and forth between past and present. As I continued reading, it quickly became apparent numerous errors with the writing tenses; although the general meaning remains understandable, recognizing the mistakes (and how often they occurred) takes away from the reading experience. Furthermore, at some points in the story, several run on sentences would have greatly benefitted from a comma, as well as some punctuation marks. Some sentences ended on a questioning tone of voice, but used a period, as an example. There were also numerous misused phrases ('As far as business' which should have meant 'As for business'; 'hour of the lady' used as a description in a normal, every day scene for a first meeting), or wrong words used in general ('through Spain' when it should have been 'from Spain'). I also found several grammatical errors through the story ('then' rather than 'than'; 'its' instead of 'it's'), mistakes in both point of views as well as capitalization. Was the number given in the story necessary, or something that would be relevant later on?
Something that bothered me as well was the use of 'ok' instead of 'okay'. Although 'ok' as a word is considered grammatically correct, it is still used mostly for informal writing, with 'OK' and 'okay' being the standard use for literature.
At several points there were small breaks in disbelief; in one instance, naivety from a character who's supposed to be professional, and yet disclosed quite intimate information from themselves for a person they didn't even check for a license or ask additional questions to check their legitimacy.
There were also the brand name drops, which feel irrelevant to the story if they were not there for advertisement.
It feels as if the author wanted to show their eloquence by adding unnecessary descriptors in their sentence or by adding higher-grade level words ('love abounded' in comparison to 'love was never lacking'), making some sentences feel out of place. Several times did I also find redundant words ('new growth').
Some abbreviated terms could have been explained at least for their first appearance.
While readers who are involved in the medical field may understand the terms and procedures being announced by the characters, other readers will be lost, and may find themselves severely confused on what any of it means about the patient's condition. Rather, is there a need to describe the technical parts in such detail? It is a novel and not a medical report, after all. Furthermore, with the amount of descriptions about the places and venues the characters visited if not passed by, it gave off the feeling of a tour pamphlet. Did the main character feel so strongly about each place she passed by that she constantly thought about their trivia?
As for the romance itself, I barely felt any chemistry between the two leads. Even in their thoughts, I didn't feel as if they actually liked each other; I didn't feel any tension. Or rather, while the characters themselves said they liked each other, I, as the reader, wasn't convinced. Did they really like each other that much? It felt as if they barely flirted or emotionally affected by each other, if not forced by the plot.
There were, admittedly, a few moments in the story where I felt as if they were attracted to each other, especially in the latter half. However the build up didn't feel in proportion to the pay off.
As a whole, it felt as if the author put more emphasis in the small moments; describing each scene as much as possible, even when not much is happening. It felt like a travel anecdote going around the country; as a whole it felt dry. The action scenes felt weak as well, with no sense of urgency or adrenaline.
For a romance, I hoped to be charmed by the main characters, if not by their romance, or at least the events in the story, but it was a shame.
******
The Assignment
View: on Bookshelves |
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