Review by AdlerOlivia11 -- Guardian of Deceit

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AdlerOlivia11
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Latest Review: Guardian of Deceit by William H. Coles

Review by AdlerOlivia11 -- Guardian of Deceit

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[Following is a volunteer review of "Guardian of Deceit" by William H. Coles.]
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1 out of 4 stars
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I rate this book 1 out of 4 stars. Not only is the story poorly conceived, the writing style is juvenile and the treatment of class issues, race, and gender are highly problematic.
It is a mark of the incomprehensible dreadfulness of William H. Coles’ Guardian of Deceit that the bizarre plot—genius level orphan taken to live with impossibly wealthy and laughably shallow caricatures of the “elite”—is not the primary font of failure. Briefly, I will say, it is nearly impossible to discern a coherent plot in this book, which reads like an adolescent boy’s celebrity fan-fiction. It is scattered, utterly lacking in depth, and several scenes pit the characters as transparent puppets for the author’s (seriously problematic) views. These views, which bleed through in everything from characters’ names and descriptions to serious plot points, are shockingly obvious, though a discerning reader would be forgiven for having missed this fact, since they would never have made it past the first painfully inept chapter.


Spanning several years in the life of the main character, Darwin, the book follows his myriad relationships with a wealthy football star Uncle, Luther, and the household staff and celebrity hangers-on that attach themselves to Luther’s lifestyle. Right off the bat, the dialogue between the characters is stilted and cringe-worthy. I have never understood the importance of that mantra of creative writing teachers everywhere to “Show not tell” until I read Coles’ dialogue. Our understanding of Darwin’s living situation with Luther, for instance, comes when Luther’s housekeeper states, “You can’t make [Darwin] live in a utility room with a bare light bulb dangling from a twisted electrical wire attached to the ceiling from a single power outlet and only enough room for a cot.” Coles doesn’t so much paint a picture as shove our faces down in the paint bucket and hold us there.


This ham-fisted style of description is not only restricted to dialogue but to the prose as well. When describing a potential love interest for Darwin, Coles knows no subtlety or originality, telling the reader point-blank that “Her irritation and sharp tongue were thin veils for her need for love.” Another romantic intrigue is described as having “dark brown eyes [that] tended to look away often, as if she was intent on hiding what emotions they might reveal.” Either Coles does not trust the reader to infer literally anything about a character’s emotional state without being beaten over the head with it, or he simply does not know how to write. I suspect it is the latter, though certain passages seemed so poorly done that I began to wonder if writing was not the only thing Coles does not understand—it may in fact be people themselves that elude him, in everything from how they think and speak to how they interact with each other.


In fact, much of my problem with this book is that Coles is very obviously writing about things he does not understand. Women, class, public school, sexuality, race, and religion being just a few the shining stars of his blindspots. One of the most truly mindboggling passages referred to a female character’s thoughts on losing her virginity and its possible repercussions. He says that she is terrified of “delivering a fetus through such an opening”, a phrase so bizarre that it almost reads as if it were translated to English from another language. I was also vaguely disturbed by his description of her having a “child’s pelvis”, though I was not surprised. Coles seems to fully buy in to the idea that women ought to be small, virginal, and childlike—that lust is a flaw for which women are punished. (Not wishing to give specific spoilers, I will say only that this impression comes directly from the fates of the women to whom he ascribes any sexual agency). Furthering the tradition of writing about things he has not bothered to research, Coles portrays another maligned female character, who is described as Jewish, talking about prayer and sin in a way that is distinctly out of line with Judaism’s teachings on both issues (think heavy Catholic guilt), raising the question of why Coles chose to go to the trouble of making the character Jewish at all, if not for somewhat fetishized stereotyped reasons.


Coles also has a palpable disdain for and total misunderstanding of what he calls the “low middle class”. His characters frequently discuss the terrors of public school; Darwin is absolutely distressed at the idea that he would be expected to attend one, since he wants to become a doctor—and as well all know, no public school students have ever become doctors! After a tragic turn of events for one of the female characters (which is-–surprise surprise—tied to her promiscuity) the others discuss how she really couldn’t avoid her fate, being that she was “low middle class” and “stuck in that public school”.
Finally, issues of race in this novel are hugely problematic, so much so that they would deserve an entire piece to address just this issue. I think they can be easily exemplified, however, with the simple fact that at one point, Coles literally refers to two young men of color as “the Black” and “the Hispanic”, as if their color alone is their descriptor. It is also worth mentioning that in this scene the two youths are mugging our main characters. To say it is politically and socially tone deaf would be almost as understated as the rest of Coles’ prose is heavy-handed.


The issues that I have with representations of class, race, religion, and gender in this novel are the only things that make it worth talking about—and only as an example of completely and utterly backwards, regressive thinking. However, even problematic books can be captivating and interesting, and sometimes warrant real review and discussion. Let me be clear. That is not the case with this book. Bad prose, cringe-worthy dialogue, a pointless and meandering plot, and completely undeveloped characters make this book an absolute chore to read, just as boring and unsatisfying as it is infuriating and offensive.

******
Guardian of Deceit
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