1 out of 4 stars
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I will start my review of Heartaches 2: Bad Boy Vibes with the positive points and work my way through to the negative. The storyline itself is good, and held my attention fairly well. I have not read the first of H. M. Irwing's Heartaches novels, but I still managed to pick up the gist of the plot and was given a smooth introduction to each of the main characters in a relatively timely fashion. The ability to bring in one's audience part way through a series and catch them up with the backstory is an important test to pass.
Anna and Rafael (or 'Rafe', as he is referred to throughout most of the book), are both survivors of abusive relationships, sexually, physically and emotionally. As a couple they cling to one another, holding each other up in love and mutual understanding as they try to move forward with their lives; an ever tumbling cartwheel of strength and vulnerability. But their troubles are far from over as they struggle, not just mentally to escape from the turmoil of their past, but also physically, for their fomer abusers are not yet ready to release them from their torments.
The plot takes an interesting, twofold emotional twist about two thirds of the way in, but ends on a very abrupt cliffhanger, almost as if this book and the next have simply been sawn in half. There is also a slightly odd introduction to a new character maybe three quarters in, which isn't as smooth a transition as it could be. If I were to base this review on the storyline alone I may have given a rating of 2.5 to 3 out of 4 stars.
So why only 1 out of 4 stars? Well, this is the part where I talk about style of writing, spelling, grammar, and general plot development. In a nutshell: this book is desperately in need of an editor and a redraft!
The book is filled from beginning to end with the type of errors that won't get picked up by a spell checker. Words used in the wrong context, sentances that don't make sense, poor sentance structure, poor grammar. The style of writing tries to be dramatic and elaborate, but often ends up sounding clumsy and over-worded. At times, the overdramatic writing style drops off a bit and it becomes less laboured and more readable, but this in itself is also an inconsistency. There is also a lot of needless repetition, both in word-choices and informative content, which could be cut out or cut down. Finally, and this is just a small point, there are quite a number of nameless peripheral characters (particularly at the military college) who could have done with some building up. Overall I would say it reads much like a first draft in need of an overhaul.
In summary, I would say this book definitely has potential to become something a lot better. The storyline, though perhaps in need of a few tweaks, is generally very good. My main advice to the Author would be: get yourself a good editor. Tone down the flowery language and don't try to be too clever with sentance structure and wording. Simplicity is better and makes it more readable - you do not want your audience to have to reread a sentance to work out it's meaning. A good editor can help with this, as well as spelling, grammar, consistency and working on the general flow. As it stands I cannot give this book more than 1 out of 4 stars but with a redraft, a fresh set of eyes and a good amount of editing and polishing, it could become so much more.
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Heartaches 2
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