2 out of 4 stars
Share This Review
Rating 2 out of 4
"Guardian of Deceit" by William H. Coles is an engaging read, with interesting characters and a plot that had a lot of potential. My low rating is based on numerous technical problems that ended up undermining the energy and effectiveness of the novel.
Some of the best things about the book were the least central: the initial exposition on the airplane is well done, the relationship of Darwin and Lazlo is well portrayed. Darwin keeps our interest, despite being perfect, which is an accomplishment.
Subplots should contribute in some way to the overall curve of the book. When subplots are extraneous or not resolved, the reader is "popped out" of the author's fictional dream. I had far too many "hey wait.." moments during my journey through Darwin's life. When he first arrives at Luther’s mansion, we're given hints that he's to be maltreated by his guardian: substandard accommodations, threats to his allowance, difficulty in communicating with his guardian, Luther. And yet, there is never any real conflict or confrontation on this point. There are hints that Luther has made sketchy investments with Darwin's money, but this is not followed up on. Most importantly, Darwin never seems to seriously suffer from any of this supposed neglect. The author spends pages building tension that, in the end, goes nowhere. Luther's story, which is the TITLE (!) has no arc. Then we have a mystery subplot that given far too much attention when it doesn't really impact Darwin or Luther, our main characters. There are many other “blind alley” events that are never followed up on. This is frustrating to a reader.
I was also brought up short by many awkward or run-on sentences that just didn't work, spin off in a direction I'm not sure was intended, or were just never line-edited:
"The apprehensions that had earlier kept him awake were less now
and he fell to sleep."
"Darwin ran to meet Lazlo, feeling new gratitude and affection for
Granny because generosity had surfaced from beneath her volcanic-
strewn surface."
"Dr. Malverne looked his elegant best -- all guests heads swiveled
to the rear -- as he escorted Helen down the aisle in a Paris
designed silk off-the-shoulder wedding dress with a Belgium lace
veil and a train needing three distant cousins dressed in frilly
white, ages four, six and seven, to maneuver." [I'm sure the
good Doc looked great in Belgian lace.]
The character of Sweeny Pale just didn't work for me. She's a talented superstar who lives with her parents (huh?) and seems passive in a way that doesn't jive with the energy it takes to get to that station in life.
Other technical observations: Point-of-view is frequently violated within scenes, which is fine if there's a purpose, but is distracting if there's no consciousness or purpose to the practice. Some of those very short chapters could definitely have been combined with previous or subsequent content. Mini essays on medical funding practices and the value of protests did not propel the plot and should have been skipped. There was too much reliance on "disasters" to push the plot.
Overall, a story that kept my interest and could have been greatly improved by more attention to detail and tighter plot integration.
******
Guardian of Deceit
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes | on Smashwords
Like Idyll's review? Post a comment saying so!