Review by michellekane50 -- Guardian of Deceit

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michellekane50
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Latest Review: Guardian of Deceit by William H. Coles

Review by michellekane50 -- Guardian of Deceit

Post by michellekane50 »

[Following is a volunteer review of "Guardian of Deceit" by William H. Coles.]
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2 out of 4 stars
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Guardian of Deceit


This book’s main character was Darwin Hastings, a teenage boy whose parents had passed away. He was moving in with a cousin after his aunt became ill and was no longer able to care for him. The book has the potential to be good, unfortunately, it is buried under stilted language and wordiness that makes it hard to read.


I like Darwin, he wants to be in charge of his life and his future, and he finds a way to make this happen even though he is a minor and family members are not as concerned about his welfare as he would like. Despite this, he always finds the best even outcome even in bad situations. Darwin has a life plan and will do anything to ensure his future successes, as long as his actions are honorable.


Unfortunately, there are several problems with the book. While it is basically sound concerning grammar and punctuation, the roundabout way everything is explained makes for a confusing read. For example, the beginning paragraph should be the hook that pulls one into the book, however:

“Darwin Hastings shouldered his backpack to be doing something and checked to see his ticket was still in his jacket side pocket. With the call for boarding, he stepped to the gate, walked down the covered walkway, and showed his ticket stub to a flight attendant who pointed him to his fifth-row window seat. The empty tension of being homeless and alone captured him. He tried to appear confident and in control.”

There is too much explanation, unnecessary details, and wordiness. This book would benefit from an editor. The hook is at the end of the first paragraph when it should be at the beginning:

“The empty tension of being homeless and alone grabbed Darwin Hastings and would not let go. He purposefully checked his ticket and shouldered his backpack hoping he looked more self-assured than he felt. Hearing the boarding call, he stepped toward the gate, proffered his ticket to the flight attendant, and made his way down the walkway to his window seat and unknown future.”


Throughout the book the timeline is hard to follow, Darwin likes one person, she leaves and then suddenly he is in love with someone else. Main characters are highlighted in several chapters, then there is no mention of them and no conclusion to the situation they were in. Even the ending, while exactly what one hopes for, leaves the reader wanting more in terms of a conclusion.


I would rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. There is a good basic storyline, however, the story is very much in need of an editor. I think the book would appeal to a wide audience if properly and concisely edited. It has a little something for everyone, romance, a teenager that people would like and want to succeed, drama, intrigue, and murder.

******
Guardian of Deceit
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[Valerie Allen]
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Post by [Valerie Allen] »

This is a good review of "Guardian of Deceit" that matches with my very thoughts taken from the sample pages and I thank you for not spoiling it with spoiler alerts.
And another book was opened, which is the Book of Life. (Revelation 20:12 (NKJV) :reading-7:
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