2 out of 4 stars
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Darwin Hastings, the protagonist of Guardian of Deceit by William H. Coles, is a bright teenage boy with ambitious dreams of following in his deceased father’s footsteps and pursuing medical school. With his love of learning and history of academic excellence, he is well on his way. After the death of his parents, Darwin is left a trust fund to ensure his educational, as well as living, needs are met. He has lived in a world of private schools that entail high quality education to challenge his sharp mind, and make him stand out on college applications. All this changes when Darwin leaves his absentee aunt’s house in Pittsburgh to go live in New York with a cousin he barely knows -- a cousin who also happens to be a well-known professional football player.
Luther Pinnelli may have given Darwin a warm welcome, but the details of living under his roof may come at a price- financially and morally. Believing his cousin should work for his keep, Luther withholds the trust fund money and instead starts sliding Darwin money to act as his own personal assistant. With Luther stamping Darwin the title of ‘cousin-assistant’, Darwin begins acting as a valet at his cousin’s home, entertaining Luther’s pop-singing girlfriend, and making sure he is ready for important meetings. Luther comes alive in your mind as an entitled man-child; doing what he wants, when he wants, and expecting everyone to oblige him along the way. He spends his days drinking, playing poker and seducing women.
The highlights to this story were the characters. Granny is a prickly, sarcastic woman, at times making me laugh out loud. Behind her prickly nature is a kind heart that is most often shown through her cherished scrabble games. She financially helps Darwin so he can hire the best tutors and continue his pursuit of medical school. Mrs. Thomas, the house manager, gave Darwin a cold welcome; she gives off the impression he was nothing more than a nuisance that Luther left her to deal with—both women warm up to their new visitor, secretly offering the financial assistance that Luther happily withholds. Dr. Malverne, whom Darwin randomly meets on his trip out of Pittsburgh, takes him under his professional wing. He gets him accepted into a high standard school, introduces him to professional colleagues, and takes him on nice vacations with his family--all in the hopes Darwin will take over his orthopedic practice. The characters were the highlight, albeit as I kept turning the pages, they became a hindrance to the storyline. A few could have been left out to allow the story to unfold more smoothly. This would create more space to build a connection with the characters kept in the story. They would come in and out so elusively, often giving the reader no depth into who they are. The plot moved in too many random directions, and at times, I had to remind myself I was reading the same book.
Although a distinguished idea for a plot, the unfolding of the story was a bit choppy. Problems would arise then resolve fairly quickly, taking away from the realism. Jumping from Luther’s lawsuit for possible performance enhancing drug use, to his superficial relationship with a doting pop-singer, to issues regarding the trust fund, romantic dilemmas within the Malverne family, Darwin’s relationship with Mr. Malverne, to Darwin’s romantic feelings for his English tutor, back to drama with Luther; it all jumped around with random climaxes, some easily resolved in as little as a few paragraphs. There were also small grammatical errors, misused words, and poorly written sentences. The story would run on smoothly for a while then run into choppy territory that made it less enjoyable. For example, “She cried. She ran into a small living room. He followed. She curled up onto a two-seater sofa, still sobbing, her face in her hands. He waited. His heart ached. She looked frail and vulnerable.” And, “The roar of the engine increased. The boat jolted out of the tight left circle. The driver brought his legs up; he squatted on the seat. The boat now stayed in a right turn.” I would have enjoyed the story unfolding through imagination rather than short, choppy descriptions. Also, omissions of letters such as “forth” for “fourth” and “application” for “applications” popped up enough times to notice and could have been avoided with another round of editing.
Unfortunately, I am rating Guardian of Deceit 2 out of 4 stars. Due to the choppy writing, grammatical errors, erratic storyline, and lack of depth with character building it was hard to sink myself into the story and enjoy it to the fullest. There were too many simultaneous plot-lines for there to be one overarching coherent theme for the book. It has great potential and if revised and edited could be re-written to make a better impression upon the reader. I would not recommend this to younger audiences due to the bad language and sexually explicit scenes. Guardian of Deceit was a finalist in both the 2011 and 2012 William Faulkner-William Wisdom Creative Writing Competition so apparently people out there enjoyed it to some extent, which is why I am giving it 2 out of 4 stars and not 1 out of 4 stars-- some may find it enjoyable. I, however, did not find the unfolding of the plot pleasurable and will not be recommending it to friends and family.
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Guardian of Deceit
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