2 out of 4 stars
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Hello, My Love (Between Two Worlds Book 1) by Evy Journey is classified as a modern romance inspired by Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice. It is the story of Elise, a law student, and Greg, who is her father's colleague and a frequent guest at her parents' dinner parties. Elise does not like him at first, plus he is engaged, so it seems as if they are not meant to be. Love transpires anyway, leading to the two of them spending a night together right before his wedding is supposed to take place. Greg calls off the wedding, but a number of things keep them apart anyway, including the wrath of his jilted ex-fiancee, Lori. Two years later, they seemingly get a second chance when Greg contacts her out of the blue. Will the secret that Elise has been keeping bring them closer together, or push them apart once again? Can their feelings survive the reappearance of Greg's former fiancee and the life-threatening mystery that awaits them?
Based on the description, I thought the story would start with them meeting and show how their feelings changed, from annoyance to romance, and grew over time. Instead, the story opens with them having already met and begun a mutual attraction. He texts her frequently, they each compliment the other's physique, they flirt at a dinner party, then he invites her back to his place two days before his wedding. All under the extremely transparent guise of being "buddies." I believe this was a poor choice as it made me, the reader, begin the journey by feeling uncertain about accepting them as a deserving and blameless couple, rather than a pair of adulterers. Seeing how they "couldn't help" falling in love, despite Greg being engaged, is important in order to like the characters, in my opinion. The writer does go back in time and attempt to do this in Chapter 2 and throughout the rest of the book, but, for me, it's not enough to completely erase my distaste for Chapter 1. I get that the author was attempting to use flashbacks as a literary device, I just think that this was an unnecessary and ineffective use of them.
I would advise the writer to pick different points in time to jump back and forth between, or forgo the flashbacks altogether. I think the story could have simply started with Chapter 2, then moved forward chronologically. However, another option would be to open with a scene between Greg and his fiancee, or Greg and someone else talking about his fiancee. Much later in the story, the reader learns that Greg has never loved his fiancee, nor she him, and that she is somewhat of a morally bankrupt person anyway. Theoretically, no one deserves to be cheated on, but if there is an exception to this rule, it's Lori. Revealing this from the beginning would go a long way in allowing the reader to forgive Greg and Elise and root for them. I think it would especially make the reader more sympathetic to Greg. I spent so much of the book assuming that Greg must have loved his fiancee at one time, then fallen out of love with her when something better came along. It left me feeling as if he deserved his reputation as a playboy who wanted to have his cake and eat it, too. Learning that Lori was aware all along of the status quo, and had her own reasons for staying in the relationship, allowed me to understand the dynamic between them better. Therefore, I think the reader should have been privy to their "mutual understanding" much sooner.
I believe there should have been more of an explanation for why Greg waits for so long after he realizes he's in love with Elise to do something about it. Perhaps some inner monologue illustrating self-denial of his growing feelings for her, disbelief that he deserves her, fear of backlash from his fiancee, etc. The fact that he initially sees her as a conquest, suddenly realizes he's in love with her, then is content to spend months fantasizing about her, all the while remaining engaged, casts him in a bad light. For that matter, it's fishy that after a year of building a friendship, Elise has never asked the name of Greg's fiancee, or to meet her. Equally disappointing is her willingness to a) allow him to speak to her in a seductive manner, b) go to his home and spend time alone with him two nights before his wedding, and c) ignorantly believe that their interactions were innocent and friendly. Who were they fooling?
While the story in general alternates between Greg's and Elise's point of view, the part that shows how they fall for each other is told from Greg's. Thus, the reader is enlightened as to his thoughts on her and how she becomes an object of fascination for him; it's less clear why Elise falls for him. Sure, it turns out there is more to him intellectually than she initially realizes, and they have plenty of intelligent discussions. That's great and all, but what makes her want more than friendship? There's no evidence of him being noticeably caring, honest, funny, or any trait which might make Greg as endearing to Elise as she is to him. It would be better if the reader was able to see Greg from Elise's point of view, or if there were scenes earlier in the story which allowed him to display some of those desirable traits. He could be generous, loyal, compassionate... or he could be as simple and passive as he seems to be. I guess the world will never know.
Nearly all interaction between them is either awkward, overly serious and highbrow, or inappropriately suggestive. For example, all at one time, Greg tells Elise she is beautiful, sexy, and a nymph. Another time, he jokingly calls her the love of his life. Yet another time, he asks her, "What if I cavort with you?" These are not comments you bestow upon a platonic friend. Usually when he says things like this, Elise gets very quiet and seems to not know what to say. Other times, she attempts to counteract the heaviness of his words with humor. It often falls flat, such as when Greg refers to her as "someone familiar" and she responds by saying, "Nope, sorry. I can't be your sister." Greg is understandably confused, until she lamely explains that "familiar" has the same root as the word "family." I wish there had been more debating of lighter topics, more romance, and more humor. I would love to have witnessed them doing something fun together, trading some good-natured ribbing, shy smiles, and compliments of something other than their bodies.
The book has a poor sense of timing when it comes to certain aspects of the plot. By this, I mean two things. First, the chapter titles are not subtle and often give away what's going to happen in them. This has a way of ruining the element of surprise and essentially provide spoilers, even if it is shortly before the event actually happens. The worst example of this was the chapter in which the "big mystery" begins to unfold. Without giving away too much, something terrible happens, and the title of that chapter is the terrible something which happens. There was a buildup of anticipation until reading that chapter title, then it just sort of fizzled out. The second example of poor timing concerns what appear to be minor plot holes, which are later hastily patched up. For example, when Greg and Elise part ways, he stops coming to the Halversons' dinner parties and no one questions it. I found it weird that he was such a regular attendee, then he pretty much disappears, and her parents don't seem to notice or care. Much later, there is mention of a note that Greg sent to Mr. Halverson, but it feels like an afterthought, and a flimsy one. I think it at least warranted a brief conversation.
Speaking of things that deserved talking about, I can't believe all is forgiven so quickly once the two of them get back in touch. I think they both have some explaining to do as far as why they have allowed so much time to pass, especially Greg. He knew that she still expected him to go ahead with his wedding; he should have come to her and told her in person when he didn't! Even if he didn't feel like it was the right time to begin a relationship (understandable), he shouldn't have let her read about his canceled marriage in the news, nor should he have left her wondering if he even cared about her. And her! I know it was her big secret that kept her from contacting Greg sooner, but I don't understand how he is able to take it in stride once he learns of it. He should have been upset and feeling bereft over all that he had missed out on in the preceding two years.
There are a number of grammatical errors and other issues which lead to some confusion. Some of them were more annoying than confusing, but the effect was the same: the flow of the story was interrupted. Many times, an unnecessary comma is inserted randomly, or a necessary one is omitted. Periodically, a word or common expression is not quite used correctly. For instance, something "caught his eyes" instead of "eye," or there was "a skeptic look in her eyes" rather than "skeptical." It happens a few times that a scene ends abruptly or the focus of the story shifts suddenly. Chapter 1, for example, ends in the middle of a conversation. Also, there comes a point where it feels like the book switches genres so completely, it's as if it becomes a different story altogether.
Occasionally, dialogue resorts to rambling, leading the reader to wonder what the point is or even what they are talking about. Also, it is sometimes not clear who is speaking without concentrated effort. When reading these conversations, I had to think to myself, "This is Elise. This is Greg. Back to Elise," as the characters took turns speaking. There are conversations, especially those involving Greg's mother, in which facial expressions go from "scowling" to "beaming" and back again quickly enough to make one feel dizzy, and it isn't always clear why the character is reacting that way to what is going on. It isn't realistic, and I think those conversations need to be reconstructed in order to keep the characters from coming off as possibly having a personality disorder. A more gradual shift in mood would be more palatable.
The same could be said for the shift between genres. I think it's great when a romance novel, or book from any particular genre, is more than just a one-trick pony. I think that having elements of mystery and drama is great if it is executed well. Unfortunately, I didn't feel as if this mystery was executed as well as it could have been. It feels like parts of one story and parts of another were stitched together, Frankenstein-like. It doesn't feel like the "romance" and the "mystery" were woven together into one story very well. Furthermore, I didn't feel as if the mystery was resolved satisfactorily. There were aspects which were just too coincidental, and comments from the characters such as, "Wow! How often do you luck out with that kind of evidence?" certainly didn't ease that feeling.
It may not seem like it after all that, but there were a few things I actually enjoyed about this book. While I do feel that Greg is slightly lacking in development as a character, I do melt at how much he seems to adore Elise, and I absolutely love all the other characters. There were some choices that Elise made that I didn't agree with, but I think that made her refreshingly realistic. She made some blunders and had some very human flaws, but she was determined, charitable, and delightfully introspective. Both of Elise's parents, as well as Greg's mother, obviously cared for their children in their own, unique way. I love that three different characters could have the same trait, but display it in different ways. Mrs. Halverson obviously loved to feed and nurture her adult children. Mr. Halverson, a normally genteel man, was not above throwing a punch in defense of his daughter's honor. And Mrs. Thorpe, though prickly on the outside, let it be known that deep down, her son's happiness was what was most important to her. She is another character that I found to be surprisingly realistic, and I love that she was called "Mama," even though she came across as a bit snobby otherwise. Even Lori, while not someone I could ever stand to be around in real life, was full of depth. She knew what she wanted and made no apologies for going after it. It was easy to admire her, even if I didn't like her.
I mentioned earlier that nearly all interaction between Greg and Elise is either awkward, overly serious, or inappropriately suggestive. There is some exception to this, and that is found in their lovemaking. I found their physical intimacy to be romantic and beautifully tender; it's as if the whole world revolves around the two of them in that moment. It's that kind of genuine connection and sincere passion that seems to be missing from their relationship in the beginning. I realize, of course, that a book can't open with a sex scene and be taken seriously as a love story, but I think that more of a deep, authentic bond between them could have been shown. It is very difficult to write a passionate love scene that is not at all lewd or cheesy, so I think the author definitely has the talent to carry over that sweet, loving connection to their earlier conversations and interactions.
It's pretty obvious that the writer is striving for the kind of dramatic, romantic vibe and the beautiful, classy language of a bygone era. Sometimes, unfortunately, the results are a bit formal or rambling. But when she gets it right, boy does she get it right! Some of Greg's internal reflections were especially poetic. This first example refers to his impression of Elise's eyes: "They were so clear that he imagined he could see through their depths into a mind alive with intelligence and passion." And this snippet, which alludes to his turmoil over deciding if he should kiss her: "...certain that Elise was as aware as he was that they were both caught in a mutual burn, in those few moments of arrested time." These and other segments made me positively swoon, and I think it is here that a likeness to a respectable classic like Pride and Prejudice can be made.
All in all, I give it 2 out of 4 stars. Some parts had me wanting to award it three stars. Personally, I find that if a book has an interesting story and engaging characters, almost anything else is forgivable. The bottom line is, the book had great bones and I really liked the overall plot, but there were quite a lot of technical difficulties. A thorough editing would give this book real potential to be a big hit. I would recommend it to anyone who is in the mood to read a good story, but doesn't feel the need to give it too much thought. I would not recommend it to anyone looking for an intriguing mystery.
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Hello, My Love
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I guess I was kinda frustrated with the book lol
