Review of Speedy hurled through havoc

[Isabella Jordis M]

[Following is a volunteer review of "Speedy hurled through havoc" by Dave Letterfly Knoderer.]

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2 out of 4 stars

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In the book “Speedy hurled through havoc” the author Dave “Letterfly” Knoderer talks about specific experiences during his childhood and adolescence and how they shaped him. The author explains how he admired, but simultaneously disliked his unaffectionate father to whom he, only later, developed a stronger bond as both of them opened up to one another and shared the love for the circus. Knoderer joined the circus after school, which he considered the best decision, as he developed a deeper appreciation and love for animals and nature. The circus made him feel part of something which he had never experienced as a child, as he isolated himself from society, as a result of feeling ashamed for having an autistic brother, as well as of never feeling validated or worthy enough. He also talks a lot about the inspiring people he met throughout his time in the circus and afterwards, and how relationships with others helped him develop as a photographer and most importantly as a painter. The built-up anger, self-hatred and pain following his traumatic childhood experiences led to an alcohol addiction. Knoderer highlights the importance of friendships, self-discovery, and the feeling of being in touch with the universe and nature. His spiritual path and being in touch with God helped him understand that being kind and understanding in interaction with others is what really fulfils you.

First of all, I thoroughly enjoyed the author’s poetic and metaphoric style of writing, as it really underlined all the emotions he described, for instance, when he talked about feeling isolated and ashamed, he used many adjectives and comparisons. Furthermore, I appreciated his open attitude towards alcoholism and family trauma, and how he admits his struggles, but at the same time envisions that change is always possible. I also liked that Knoderer talked about specific experiences and then drew a conclusion afterwards, meaning what life lessons he took from them.

I did, however, find the chapters in which he thoroughly talks about his experiences with animals in the circus and his father’s experiences as a boy a little slow to read and more difficult to identify with. I appreciate that they are important to understand his father’s issues with affection and their relationship but did lose the train of thought throughout the middle of the book.

I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars as the actual topic of self-discovery, mental health and childhood trauma is extremely important and I appreciated the author’s openness about his own struggles but did find the book slow to read and his stream of consciousness overwhelming.

I would recommend the book to anyone who is interested in reading about spiritual paths and the meaning of life in greater depth.

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Speedy hurled through havoc
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