Review of My Living Will

[Nivedita BookBee]

[Following is a volunteer review of "My Living Will" by John Trautwein.]

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4 out of 4 stars

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It takes one second sometimes for our lives to go from being happy, normal, satisfying to painful, shattered and lost. This one second was brought upon the Trautwein family on the morning of 15 October of 2010 when their 15-year-old teenager, Will, decided to end his life and unfortunately he succeeded in doing so. My Living Will by John Trautwein is a very personal journey where he shares his loss of Will along with his discovery and establishment of "Will to Live" Foundation.


During the first few chapters of the book, you'll go through the severity of loss and pain the Trautwein family went through in detail. You'll see their struggle, feel their tears and how they made it through the first few months after losing their Will. This is not the story of a suffering family though, it's the story of how they kept their faith intact, let God carry them through this while being surrounded by immense love and care from family, friends and neighbours. It's about how John Trautwein along with his friends and family didn't let the death of their kid overpower the force of life and happiness they were all capable of bringing. They took the worst thing that happened to them and shaped it into the most beautiful and alive foundation. You can either cry and wallow in pain about your loss forever, or you can stand up and turn your pain into a purpose. A purpose where you help, heal and love yourself and others who are going through the same pain.


The book is full of incidents that I like. I liked how after losing Will, the entire family sang a song about him in his room and filled his room of death and despair with joy and love. I adored how John and Susie were always there for their three kids, hugging them, crying with them and letting them know that it's okay to feel so. How Will's friends, teammates and classmates tried to remember him is just so heartwarming. They remembered how helpful and nice Will was to them, they wore his initials on their gaming accessories and his number 13 in so many games just to keep his spirit and their brotherhood alive. John included the difficult discussion of suicide, depression and signs of them, which was very brave of him. His sheer will of making people aware and helping them will strengthen you to the core. I learnt that life can be miserable and unpredictable, but we don't need to be scared of it. I learnt that "love heals."I learnt that it was really okay not to be okay. This book and "Will to Live" Foundation has the power to save troubled lives.


The only thing I disliked was that by the end of the book, it became a task to read as there were many events that were similar but still included where John talked about his gaming experiences. Even without including all those events, this book would have completed its purpose of letting people and parents know that suicide and depression do exist around us, and we all need to have an open discussion in our own families about it. However, one can see that John is really just trying to share the meaning of helping others, show the power that words can have and why trying to live with optimism is infinite times better than living with pain.


I'll rate this book 4 out of 4 stars. It's exceptionally well-edited. The flow of the book is very good, and you get really invested in this family, and you feel everything they went through. It teaches so much about how we should respond to people who are depressed or suicidal and how we should support them. You'll be amazed by the strength of this family and immense amount of happiness they radiate.

I'd recommend this book to everyone because we need to spread the awareness about suicide as it's a worldwide issue, we see in our society, and it needs to be dealt with properly. Parents must go through this book, especially if they're seeking guidance on how they should start this open dialogue with their own kids and family. I recommend you all to go through it and help the Trautwein family spread the word. I really appreciate John Trautwein and his family for sharing their strengths and weaknesses with us, and wish them all the best.

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My Living Will
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[Satwik Mohanty]

Suicide awareness should be more common and accepted in our society to tackle it. Thanks for sharing your thoughts.