Review by Jay_D -- The Undying Queen of Ur

[Jay_D]

[Following is a volunteer review of "The Undying Queen of Ur" by Abraham Kawa & Arahom Radjah.]

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2 out of 4 stars

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The Undying Queen of Ur is a book co-authored by Abraham Kawa and Arahom Radjah, and it mainly talks of Arkhalla, the vampire queen of the kingdom of Ur. Her story begins with the death of her mother, while her father, driven to madness by his grief, makes a mistake that will turn Arkhalla into one of the most feared queens to have ever lived. Eventually, though, she will encounter someone who will call her out on her hellish deeds and make her reconsider all she has done. Meanwhile, her court is a mare's nest of intrigue; a ticking bomb about to blow a hole in Arkhalla's very existence.

I rate this book 2 out of 4 stars. As it stands, this book cannot achieve 4 stars because of the numerous mistakes I ran across while reading. I would find a mistake every once in a while, and these mistakes included missing commas and articles, misplaced words, incorrect formatting, etc. An obvious example is, ''His let go of it and the knife fell on the ground.'' The fact that there is more than twenty mistakes in the first two hundred or so pages means only that the book is in want of further editing. That being said, the writing was a bit wordy and an obvious attempt at archaism that did not pass as unnoticed as it should have.

The descriptions of Ur's decadence and those of the love story between Shamath and Arkhalla do not complement one another. All the atrocious deeds of the Undying, the countless descriptions of gore and violence, the rape and torture, stand in jarring contrast to the clichéd romance. I just feel like it was not blended properly. The pain and anguish of the people from the conquered nations, as well as some people of Ur, should have provided a rich background to the focal point of the story but actually end up contributing to the glaring juxtaposition. It doesn't help that the effect seemed unintentional.

As for the characters, Arkhalla did not strike me as anything special. Everyone else in the book kept saying how mysterious, magnificent, and otherworldly she was, yet personally all I found impressive was her authority, the power she had in her grasp, her iron grip on a city. But almost every ruler has that. Besides being conventionally beautiful and appearing everywhere more naked than clothed (a fact that I don't consider empowering in any way), I saw no justification for this kind of fame. I could only bond with her during one scene; when she recalled her father down in the depths with the Mirror, and finally exhibited a feeling or two. The vampire aspect of her adds nothing new to the genre either.

All of this brings me to the conclusion that there is a grievous lack of character development. The plot moved at an excruciatingly slow pace yet rarely did I see any character development. The development happened behind the stage and was brought to attention only once it was done. It took but two things for the most loyal of Arkhalla's royal guard to turn against her. Only a few weeks for her slave to worm his way into Arkhalla's heart. Both of these things were not described in detail while other less relevant things have been given a generous number of paragraphs.

Nevertheless, the premise is charming and promises something new. I was excited to see the execution of such an original concept, and the introduction screamed of the author's passion and love for the character of Arkhalla and her story. The cover of the book made me wary, yes, but the way the author described the eponymous Arkhalla in the introduction moved my heart. There were even some scenes that had me on the edge of my seat, like the beginning scene of the battle, which thrust me into the world of the Undying, or the scene describing Inanna's death, which served as a great way of setting up the stage for the rest of the characters. The ending is fitting, although somewhat anticlimatic, considering the build-up.

To conclude, I detracted half a star because of the editing, and another half generally because of the writing itself, what with the slow plot and the writing's wordiness. I detracted a whole star because of the characters, as I consider it a major problem that is sure to lessen the reading experience, even though I would gladly give this book two stars and a half because of some marvellously done scenes. This book is not for children and those that have a weak stomach. There is gore and violence mentioned, and a couple of sex scenes that, while not as explicit as they could have been, might be too much for some. As for profanity, it includes only four words, the mild one being 'damn'. The other three words are derogatory terms having to do with women: a vulgar word for female genitals, which is mentioned only once; a slang word for 'prostitute'; and lastly, the notorious synonym for 'female dog', which was said so many times that it became tedious.

The book will appeal to people who like vampire romance coupled with mild erotica, or people who like the vampire genre but don't mind the sexual content. Whoever doesn't mind reading recycled romance stories will enjoy this work as well, I'm sure. It will not appeal to anyone who is sensitive to sexual content and mentions of blood and gore, and neither will it appeal to people who are looking for something new in the vampire genre. Those who are exclusively into erotica will not like this either, as the sex scenes are far and few in between and not nearly as explicit.

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The Undying Queen of Ur
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[Prisallen]

I hope the author fixes the problems that you encountered. I don't think I would enjoy it this way. Thanks for the informative and wonderful review!

[Jay_D]

I hope the author fixes the problems that you encountered. I don't think I would enjoy it this way. Thanks for the informative and wonderful review!

Thank you for stopping by to read it!