Review by Kelyn -- The Chauvinist's Guide to Modern Romance

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Kelyn
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Review by Kelyn -- The Chauvinist's Guide to Modern Romance

Post by Kelyn » 13 Jul 2019, 15:15

[Following is a volunteer review of "The Chauvinist's Guide to Modern Romance" by Morris Rollins.]
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1 out of 4 stars
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The Chauvinist’s Guide to Modern Romance by Morris Rollins was written as a satire on modern social mores of attraction, love, and sex. If a satirical flare is what was intended, it falls far short of this objective. To be clear, I like good satire. For example, I find books written in the manner of Kafka to be extremely amusing. I’m also fond of Monty Python. In my opinion, The Chauvinist’s Guide to Modern Romance does not even approach the standards for a decent satire. Instead, the contents are precisely what the title implies. It is an unapologetic, misogynistic, and biased guide to help “the modern eunuch” (in other words, single male) successfully woo women into their beds.

Approaching the book from this perspective, one cannot fault Rollins’ advice. Some of it, used correctly with just the right couple, actually has a chance of succeeding. However, let’s look a bit further. According to the author, modern-day women have usurped men’s rightful place in the universe through their psychological prowess and civilizing morality. Intended to lead society and have the power to “… take what they want…,” men are now forced to find methods that will manipulate and take advantage of women’s wants, desires, and needs in order to reach their ultimate goal: successfully achieving the best quality coitus with the most frequency possible.

According to the author, there are several types of women. These include nice girls, bad girls, older women, blondes (yes, they have their own category), fat women, ugly women, and the ever-feared Nazis and bi**hes. Each type of woman requires a different approach to entice them into an intimate encounter. Because of this, the different types of men (smooth, sharp, and tough) must adjust their behavior, body language, dress, and approach to ‘become’ the type of man the desired woman will want to choose as a partner (intimate or otherwise). Amazingly enough, Rollins mixes in just enough scientific study and psychology to give a veneer of truth to his suggestions. For instance, the author includes a chart of the psychological differences between men and women that seemed surprisingly accurate.

No portion of this book gave me even a chuckle. Even worse, parts of it often left me feeling distinctly insulted as a woman. I would think that any man of worthy character would also be somewhat offended. Mr. Rollins states, “… sex is man’s number one priority in life. Success in romantic love is the single most important measure of a woman.” If this is to be believed, the very progress modern men and women have made in these areas, in terms of mutual understanding and communication, are hindrances to man’s instinctual drive toward having intercourse with a bevy of women. I found the casual dismissal and disparagement of this progress, even for a few laughs, to be in extremely poor taste. The one good thing I have to say is that Rollins, for the most part, managed to use the least vulgar manner possible to communicate his messages.

At a mere sixty-four pages, The Chauvinist’s Guide to Modern Romance is quite short. The writing is simple, and the topics, though somewhat lewd, are easily understood. It is separated into eight distinct chapters which are blessedly brief. There are also two “intermissions” during which suggestive images and charts are presented. Illustrations (often offensive) are also scattered throughout the book. Although the book is marketed for all ages, I cannot support this. Due to the inappropriate nature of much of its contents and several of its illustrations, this is most definitely NOT a book you want anyone under the age of eighteen to see.

I cannot, in good conscience, recommend this book to anyone at all. My best caution is that this book is for mature readers only. However, I would urge any women who are tempted to read it to be extremely open-minded and have very thick skin. It is incredibly inappropriate, even detrimental, for males 17 and under as it contains areas which describe women very disrespectfully and condone violent (often illegal) behaviors toward them. “Test her with bad treatment. If she reacts with deference to you, a parade of whores and a few new holes in the wall may only help your relationship.”

Overall, I give The Chauvinist’s guide to Modern Romance 1 out of 4 stars. I docked one star due to its complete failure as a satire. I deducted the second star because portions of the book exceed acceptable limits of propriety and encourage the mistreatment of women. Because many of the illustrations were insensitive and offensive, the third star was lost. In my opinion, the book had only two saving graces. Those were that I found no grammatical errors whatsoever and that the writing itself was sound. In closing, I leave you with caveat lector. Let the reader beware.

******
The Chauvinist's Guide to Modern Romance
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Meg98
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Post by Meg98 » 15 Jul 2019, 23:08

Oh dear! This book sounds like it definitely should not be a piece of literature. I am sorry you didn't enjoy it, and I don't think I will either. Thanks for this honest and great review!
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Post by Prisallen » 16 Jul 2019, 07:54

I'm afraid that I couldn't be open-minded or thick-skinned enough to enjoy this book either. Thanks for the great review!

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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 16 Jul 2019, 23:35

Meg98 wrote:
15 Jul 2019, 23:08
Oh dear! This book sounds like it definitely should not be a piece of literature. I am sorry you didn't enjoy it, and I don't think I will either. Thanks for this honest and great review!
Prisallen wrote:
16 Jul 2019, 07:54
I'm afraid that I couldn't be open-minded or thick-skinned enough to enjoy this book either. Thanks for the great review!
Thank you for your kind words. I agree that it should not even be considered literature. I really meant it when I said I couldn't recommend it for anyone! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting!
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Post by Gracedscribe » 17 Jul 2019, 00:24

It was a pleasure to read this review! I admire your use of language, your honesty. Will definitely be giving this book a wide berth.
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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 17 Jul 2019, 01:30

Gracedscribe wrote:
17 Jul 2019, 00:24
It was a pleasure to read this review! I admire your use of language, your honesty. Will definitely be giving this book a wide berth.
Thank you so much for the compliments! I'm always glad to hear that others have enjoyed my writing. Yes, a very wide berth is definitely advised. Thanks so much for dropping by and commenting!
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Post by Areej Tahir » 19 Jul 2019, 15:25

Oh my God Yes! I just completed reading this book and I swear this book was borderline offensive. Your review sums it up just about right!

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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 19 Jul 2019, 20:50

Areej Tahir wrote:
19 Jul 2019, 15:25
Oh my God Yes! I just completed reading this book and I swear this book was borderline offensive. Your review sums it up just about right!
Thank you! I'm glad I'm not alone in feeling this way. So many of the other reviews I read just extolled what I saw as non-existent virtues. I'm so glad you stopped by and commented!
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Post by Nisha Ward » 19 Jul 2019, 20:59

When I sampled it I thought it was too over the top to be serious but reading this has definitely changed my mind. All I can say is yikes.
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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 19 Jul 2019, 21:05

Nisha Ward wrote:
19 Jul 2019, 20:59
When I sampled it I thought it was too over the top to be serious but reading this has definitely changed my mind. All I can say is yikes.
Yikes indeed! Thanks so much for stopping in and commenting!
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Post by Mrudolph30 » 21 Jul 2019, 17:02

I just finished submitting my review and yours has oh-so-many similarities to mine. I'm a man of (hopefully) "worthy character," to use your words, and I am highly offended by this cowardly, pen-name-written attempt at satire. It's a complete smack in the face to the #metoo movement. Thankfully it's so poorly written that I don't have to worry about it corrupting too many minds. I felt validated reading your eloquent thoughts though. Look forward to reading more of your work!

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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 21 Jul 2019, 17:36

Thanks so much for the compliment! I always enjoy knowing that others enjoy/appreciate my writing. As for your other comment, I am certain that you are, indeed, of worthy character, and I agree that the sad attempt at satire is an offense to the #metoo movement. Thanks for stopping by and commenting!

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Post by eastandalchemy » 24 Jul 2019, 07:22

Sounds like you (along with many others) found this book as painful as I did! This book really blew me away with how insulting it was and the complete lack of satire. I did not read any reviews beforehand and genuinely assumed that this book would be lighthearted and funny. I could have saved myself a lot of time if I had come across your review first! Great job!

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Post by mariana90 » 24 Jul 2019, 21:33

Thank you for subjecting yourself to the horror of reading this book in order to help us avoid it lol!

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Kelyn
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Post by Kelyn » 24 Jul 2019, 22:43

eastandalchemy wrote:
24 Jul 2019, 07:22
Sounds like you (along with many others) found this book as painful as I did! This book really blew me away with how insulting it was and the complete lack of satire. I did not read any reviews beforehand and genuinely assumed that this book would be lighthearted and funny. I could have saved myself a lot of time if I had come across your review first! Great job!
mariana90 wrote:
24 Jul 2019, 21:33
Thank you for subjecting yourself to the horror of reading this book in order to help us avoid it lol!
Thank you for the compliments! I was dumbfounded at the number of reviews I found singing this book's praises as a satire and awarding it three or even four stars!! It's dismaying to think that so many people found the book acceptable in ANY fashion! At any rate, I appreciate knowing that I'm not alone in how I saw the content. Thank you both for stopping in and commenting!

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