Review by Mekkinism -- Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

This forum is for volunteer reviews by members of our review team. These reviews are done voluntarily by the reviewers and are published in this forum, separate from the official professional reviews. These reviews are kept separate primarily because the same book may be reviewed by many different reviewers.
Forum rules
Authors and publishers are not able to post replies in the review topics.
Post Reply
User avatar
Mekkinism
Posts: 66
Joined: 29 Aug 2016, 19:43
Currently Reading: Raven's Peak
Bookshelf Size: 103
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mekkinism.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Review by Mekkinism -- Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Mekkinism »

[Following is a volunteer review of "Becoming the Dragon" by Alex Sapegin.]
Book Cover
1 out of 4 stars
Share This Review


Becoming the Dragon is the first book in a fantasy trilogy written by Russian author Alex Sapegin and translated into English by Elizabeth Kulikov. The story follows sixteen-year-old Andy who, after stumbling into a military experiment, finds himself transported to another world filled with magic, political intrigue, and dragons.

With a strange power derived from being struck by lightning and a talent for archery, Andy is not your ordinary sixteen-year-old boy. Still, even he is not prepared when a military experiment goes awry and he is teleported to the world of Ilanta. Once there, he finds himself in progressively more dire situations. He avoids being eaten by wild predators only to be captured by even more dangerous humans. When Andy is fatally wounded while freeing himself and a dragon from captivity and torture, he has only one chance at survival: become a dragon himself.

Sluggish, poorly plotted, and filled with deeply unlikable characters who exhibit nothing that could reasonably be called character development, this book manages to incorporate every overwrought cliche and tired trope that plagues the fantasy genre.

Andy, our hapless protagonist, does not seem to have a personality. In its place, he has a seemingly endless list of things he is improbably knowledgable about including archery and hand to hand combat. At one point he is able to fall into a trance state to master his magic because he once read a brochure on yoga. Anything that he doesn’t know, he is able to pick up almost immediately. He’s so hyper-competent that it’s a good thing he’s unconscious or in a cage for about half of this book, or the story would have ended rather quickly. He’s knocked unconscious four times within the first 70 pages of this book. I counted. Even still, he manages to kill at least seven grown men and women while in captivity despite having never been in a fight before.

The author seems particularly enthusiastic about his world-building. He demonstrates this by including pages and pages of entirely unnecessary exposition that often has very little or nothing to do with advancing the actual story. He devotes three pages to the composition, range, and relative merits of various kinds of bows; five pages covering the various religions of the world of Ilanta; at least ten pages that go over a history of the world, going back 30,000 years; over a full page describing every detail of the armor being worn by characters we never see again after that scene; and, my personal favorite, an entire paragraph about the effects of switching from a per-head to a capitation tax scheme on the burgeoning artisanal class in the dukedom of Lere.

I kept waiting for something to happen in this book. For any of Andy’s immeasurable skills, or inexplicable gift with magic, to amount to something interesting, or for the large cast of secondary characters that are set up and then discarded, never to be seen again, to coalesce into something resembling a conflict or a plot. Even when something does happen, it’s clearly happening only because the story requires it. Andy exhibits almost no agency at all. He doesn’t act upon the story. Things just happen to him. Even when he finally escaped from captivity, it is because his guards coincidentally forgot to secure him properly at the exact right moment.

On a technical level, there are also some errors that should have been caught by an editor. A paragraph repeats itself identically on the same page. There are inconsistencies between the usage of the single and double quotation mark. Something that is referred to “like this” on one page might be referred to ‘like this’ on the next.

Overall though, I would have to say that my least favorite part of the book was the author’s fixation with the chests of the women in the story.This book devotes time to describing the particulars of the breasts of no less than five separate women. It seems like the description of every woman who is not old or directly related to Andy includes some sort of reference to her “décolletage”.

Because I could find very little that was redeemable about this book, I’m rating this 1 out of 4 stars. I certainly would not recommend it to my friends. I would only recommend it to someone who is more interested in fantasy world-building than story quality, and even then I’m sure I could recommend something better.

******
Becoming the Dragon
View: on Bookshelves | on Amazon | on iTunes | on Smashwords

Like Mekkinism's review? Post a comment saying so!
User avatar
kandscreeley
Special Discussion Leader
Posts: 11683
Joined: 31 Dec 2016, 20:31
Currently Reading: Believarexic
Bookshelf Size: 486
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-kandscreeley.html
Latest Review: The Elf Revelation by Jordan David

Post by kandscreeley »

Overall though, I would have to say that my least favorite part of the book was the author’s fixation with the chests of the women in the story.This book devotes time to describing the particulars of the breasts of no less than five separate women. It seems like the description of every woman who is not old or directly related to Andy includes some sort of reference to her “décolletage”.
Okay, I admit... That one made me laugh out loud. It seems like this book has multiple problems. I do wonder if any of it has anything to do with being translated from Russian? Sometimes things get lost in translation or what's funny or apropos in one culture just falls short in another. I definitely think I'll avoid this one, but this is a great review! Thanks!
A book is a dream you hold in your hands.
—Neil Gaiman
User avatar
Arrigo_Lupori
Posts: 203
Joined: 19 Jan 2018, 07:14
Favorite Author: Haruki Murakami
Currently Reading: A Short History of Nearly Everything
Bookshelf Size: 15
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-arrigo-lupori.html
Latest Review: Island Games by Caleb J. Boyer
Reading Device: B00I15SB16
fav_author_id: 2566

Post by Arrigo_Lupori »

Wow, that's rough! Happy that you were able to finish it in the first place. It does bother me too when authors put too much effort in trying to describe some weird "leisure" in their books.. Thanks for the honest review!
"The abstract sensation of living a lifestyle that hasn't been fully understood."
- The epitome of taste in living disgrace.
User avatar
Mekkinism
Posts: 66
Joined: 29 Aug 2016, 19:43
Currently Reading: Raven's Peak
Bookshelf Size: 103
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mekkinism.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Mekkinism »

kandscreeley wrote: 20 Feb 2018, 08:36
Overall though, I would have to say that my least favorite part of the book was the author’s fixation with the chests of the women in the story.This book devotes time to describing the particulars of the breasts of no less than five separate women. It seems like the description of every woman who is not old or directly related to Andy includes some sort of reference to her “décolletage”.
Okay, I admit... That one made me laugh out loud. It seems like this book has multiple problems. I do wonder if any of it has anything to do with being translated from Russian? Sometimes things get lost in translation or what's funny or apropos in one culture just falls short in another. I definitely think I'll avoid this one, but this is a great review! Thanks!
I definitely think translation is always going to change the book to some extent. I think there were occasional awkward word choices or formatting choices that were probably a translation issue more than anything else. I chose to focus mostly on the big picture issues, namely structure, pacing, and character in part to try to be as fair as possible about the language issue.

As to the Issue of the Fantasy Heaving Bosoms, I'm inclined to believe it is a fantasy trope that the author chose to emulate without perhaps taking any time to critically examine what it might perpetuate. I say this because it occurred in this book in conjunction with another common superhero/fantasy trope that really ought not to continue, commonly called Fridging, where female characters are killed off as a plot device or to further male character's character development.

I don't think this author was intentionally trying to be sexist, I'm just saying there are some tropes ingrained in the fantasy genre that we should examine and maybe phase out.
User avatar
Manang Muyang
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 11161
Joined: 02 May 2017, 20:17
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading: Donny and Mary Grace's California Adventures
Bookshelf Size: 685
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-manang-muyang.html
Latest Review: Your Great Name by Shawn Funk
Reading Device: B00KC6I06S

Post by Manang Muyang »

This is a very objective review of a book that you clearly did not enjoy. I commend your tactful language. (I learned a few things from you. The adage, "hate the sin, love the sinner" comes to mind.)

I can relate to the difficulty of writing a one-star review. Being honest will ultimately redound to the author's benefit. But being brutally honest may be hard to take, along with the disappointment of getting a lonely star.

P.S. I think the book has a fantastic cover, though.
User avatar
CommMayo
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1648
Joined: 22 Oct 2017, 14:19
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 80
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-commmayo.html
Latest Review: Changed by Vicki Stiefel
Reading Device: B00G2Y4WNY

Post by CommMayo »

I think you did a great job for a review you were so worried about writing. The one star reviews are really hard. I just had to write one myself for a guy that is completely crazy and thinks his new book (I use that term loosely), Outdoor Adventures, is going to sell on Amazon for $14. I stopped highlighting errors after the first five pages because I would have just had to color the entire manuscript green. Let's not even talk about the battle I had with him over the author blurb!

And before that, I had a guy named Okefenokee Joe singing about alligators eating his dog...
Boy, I hope the book just I selected that was written by a heroin addict continues to be better than my last two choices...
User avatar
Mekkinism
Posts: 66
Joined: 29 Aug 2016, 19:43
Currently Reading: Raven's Peak
Bookshelf Size: 103
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mekkinism.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Mekkinism »

Miriam Molina wrote: 20 Feb 2018, 11:24 This is a very objective review of a book that you clearly did not enjoy. I commend your tactful language. (I learned a few things from you. The adage, "hate the sin, love the sinner" comes to mind.)

I can relate to the difficulty of writing a one-star review. Being honest will ultimately redound to the author's benefit. But being brutally honest may be hard to take, along with the disappointment of getting a lonely star.

P.S. I think the book has a fantastic cover, though.
Thank you so much for your feedback! It really does help me feel that I did my best to be fair and measured.

I love the cover! I think it's the kind of thing that would definitely catch my eye in a book store, especially since I love dragons probably an unhealthy amount. I had high hopes for this one, but alas. :(
User avatar
Mekkinism
Posts: 66
Joined: 29 Aug 2016, 19:43
Currently Reading: Raven's Peak
Bookshelf Size: 103
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mekkinism.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Mekkinism »

CommMayo wrote: 20 Feb 2018, 15:52 I think you did a great job for a review you were so worried about writing. The one star reviews are really hard. I just had to write one myself for a guy that is completely crazy and thinks his new book (I use that term loosely), Outdoor Adventures, is going to sell on Amazon for $14. I stopped highlighting errors after the first five pages because I would have just had to color the entire manuscript green. Let's not even talk about the battle I had with him over the author blurb!

And before that, I had a guy named Okefenokee Joe singing about alligators eating his dog...
Boy, I hope the book just I selected that was written by a heroin addict continues to be better than my last two choices...
Oh goodness. I hope your latest book is better as well! That Outdoor Adventures guy sounds like a real piece of work. I don't know how people get it into their heads that writing a book is going to be this hugely profitable money making scheme.
User avatar
inaramid
Previous Member of the Month
Posts: 1222
Joined: 04 Nov 2017, 11:22
Currently Reading: Siege and Storm
Bookshelf Size: 144
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-inaramid.html
Latest Review: The Fourth Kinetic by Brady Moore

Post by inaramid »

What a phenomenal review! I'm amazed that you managed to finish the book at all, but I'm glad that you did because we all got to read this amazingly written critique :). Mastering magic through a yoga brochure got me laughing so hard.

Here's looking forward to your future reviews!
azerikaj
Posts: 234
Joined: 10 Feb 2018, 16:46
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 84
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-azerikaj.html
Latest Review: Serendipity Mystery: Diary of a Snoopy Cat by R.F. Kristi

Post by azerikaj »

Some things are not ready for prime-time.
Struggling a bit with my next review prospect...started off strong, and now? Not liking it so much.
User avatar
Ashiyya Tariq
Posts: 2181
Joined: 17 Mar 2017, 02:17
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 235
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-ashiyya-tariq.html
Latest Review: Deadly Waters: The Vietnam Naval War And Its Aftermath by Randy Miller
Reading Device: PDF

Post by Ashiyya Tariq »

This looks like a childish story. I know, the sci- fi stories are mostly written beyond realism. But If you are writing for adult readers, there should be some sort of realism. But i am hopeful, there Will be readers, mostly youngsters, who will admire this story. Thanks for your great review.
Make your ideals high enough to inspire you and low enough to encourage you.

📕📖📰📓📕
User avatar
Jude Austin
Posts: 447
Joined: 16 Feb 2018, 08:10
Favorite Book:
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 33
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jude-austin.html
Latest Review: The Palm Reader by Christopher Bowron

Post by Jude Austin »

Oh boy, sounds like this is one to skip. It's a shame because reading the first two paragraphs, it sounds like the kind of story I'd love. You did a fantastic job of reviewing a book you obviously didn't like.
He’s so hyper-competent that it’s a good thing he’s unconscious or in a cage for about half of this book, or the story would have ended rather quickly.
This bit in particular made me laugh :D Even if the book wasn't enjoyable, your review certainly was.
User avatar
Mekkinism
Posts: 66
Joined: 29 Aug 2016, 19:43
Currently Reading: Raven's Peak
Bookshelf Size: 103
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-mekkinism.html
Latest Review: Becoming the Dragon by Alex Sapegin

Post by Mekkinism »

Thank you, everyone! I'm really glad you enjoyed the review. I'm looking forward to writing more. Some of the stuff in this book really was just so ridiculous that I had to laugh. Hopefully though I can continue to inject a little bit of wit into my reviews of books that are of a slightly higher caliber.
User avatar
alisonedgee
Posts: 171
Joined: 19 Mar 2018, 20:30
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 15
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-alisonedgee.html
Latest Review: Lemoncella Cocktail by Rene Natan

Post by alisonedgee »

oh, such a shame you didn't rate this higher, just read someone elses that was really positive. you seem more believable tbh. think i'll give this one a miss.
Post Reply

Return to “Volunteer Reviews”