Could you date someone who doesn't read?

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Hannah_Vibbert
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Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by Hannah_Vibbert » 21 Feb 2018, 14:48

I've dated non-readers before and it wasn't terrible. The only time it ever really bothered me would be whenever something super awesome would happen in my book and I would need to talk to someone about it. Most of the time I would get an eye roll and deep sigh followed by about 2 minutes of attention before being interrupted or tuned out, or in the case of my ex husband he would listen and interact for about 10ish minutes before finally saying "Okay...I love you and I love that you are so excited about your book but I have no idea what you're talking about."

I understand that the chances of having EVERYTHING in common with someone you date is slim but I think as a reader, its an important thing to have in common. There is something so exciting about being able to talk to someone passionately about a book you love.

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kfwilson6
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Post by kfwilson6 » 21 Feb 2018, 14:52

Interesting question. I can say if it helps anyone that my husband loves to read almost as much as I do and it is one of the greatest joys of our marriage. Almost everything he had on his bookshelf when we met was new to me and I have discovered some excellent books because of him. Also, books are one of the few things I know I can buy him that he won't want to return.

Every time I ask someone if they enjoy reading and they say no, I feel quite disappointed. I would say it really is a great thing to have in common with someone you want to be close to. It can be very intimate too depending on what you like to read and how much you share that with someone else.

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Post by Jeyasivananth » 21 Feb 2018, 20:05

i am married to someone who doesn't read but i really do want my kids to read .

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Post by kristenjc » 21 Feb 2018, 23:18

Yes. In fact I am currently dating a guy who never reads and I love him so.

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Post by JodyVamp » 21 Feb 2018, 23:45

I did this once, it didn't go well. The guy had never even been in a bookstore until we started dating and I got excited and made him park when we passed a B&N while headed somewhere else. He didn't understand why I wanted to go in so bad or how I could spend so much money on something not video game related. To say that conversation was shallow would be demeaning to the word. Though to be fair, I don't think it was just his lack of reading that made him insufferably dull. I have plenty of friends that are baffled by my love of books that can still hold deep conversations and intelligently discuss matters, they just don't get why I act like a book release by a favorite author is just as exciting as a midnight release of something they cherish. So, I guess I would give it a second chance, but his views on the old Mythbusters would be much more relevant in my decision than if we could compare home libraries as well as TV tastes.

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Post by Sorchadorcha » 22 Feb 2018, 13:02

Sadly I am in a relationship with someone that hardly reads. Sometimes it's a blessing when I force him to read one of my favorite novels and I get to see his reaction to stories that I love so much. However, most of the time I give him a cherished book and he keeps it for months until I insist to have it back (you can never be parted from a favorite book for too long). That being said, I'm sure if he had the time he'd put more effort into reading.

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Post by petiteprimera » 23 Feb 2018, 02:46

Probably, as long as they listen to me talk about books.

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Post by Skylalovestoread » 23 Feb 2018, 08:21

Yes, I don't think you need to have everything in common. My husband rarely reads, and if he does it a truck manual or a magazine. But since we have such different schedules it seems to work out just fine. And I have plenty of time for reading. It would be nice if he had a book to pick up sometimes, rather then trying to close my book haha

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Post by nataliecannon13 » 23 Feb 2018, 14:46

My partner and I constantly talk about what we're reading, so I'm guessing...no, I just couldn't do it! I love books, reading, and writing so much that I would have major trouble relating romantically to someone who hated reading. :techie-studyingbrown:

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Post by Essentially_Literate » 23 Feb 2018, 22:39

Could I date someone that chooses of their own freewill NOT to read? I have before and I don't believe I'll ever do that again. It would have to depend on who they are on the inside to determine whether I'd date a non-reader again. The last guy I dated was a non-reader and he was proud of it! The one time we went to Barnes N Noble together he pointed out almost every book in the section we were at and asked if I had read it. We were in the Young Adult section so I did end up saying yes to most of the books. :lol: Now I know that I need to find a guy that at least enjoys casual reading! :D

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Post by Helen_Combe » 24 Feb 2018, 11:21

I could date someone who doesn’t read. The argument that you can’t discuss a book would still be valid if your partner loved to read, but enjoyed different books from you. I like a broad range of books, but my partner has little time to read but when he does, it tends to like dry, historically accurate books which I’m not so taken with. Our tastes are very different, we also have very few pastimes in common, yet we still exist on the same wavelength and enjoy each other’s company.
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Post by Samy Lax » 24 Feb 2018, 11:53

Oh I've tried to date guys who read. And tried hard. Then, I gave up. I learned to date the non-readers. Weren't my first choice though :D
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Post by kristinajoy07 » 24 Feb 2018, 13:56

I could and I do! It is not a requirement to read as far as I am concerned my mom and most of my family and a good lot of my friends are not really readers. But, they do have plenty to talk about, they’re fun and they’re thoughtful! As long as my partner has something to talk about (and she always does) I’m fine. She even listens and asks questions about the books I’m reading so really all is well!

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Post by azerikaj » 24 Feb 2018, 14:35

I don't know...I doubt I could find a partner that reads as much as I do, cause I'm a writer and reviewer and blah, blah, but I think I would be happier with somebody who has at least *a few* books that are important to them.

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Post by Tamorie21 » 24 Feb 2018, 17:13

I'm sure I could date someone who doesn't read. I mean, it would make for less topics of conversation and sometimes conversation could go stale altogether for certain periods of time, but I'd like to think that I have more to my repertoire (personality-wise) than reading. As long as we can find something to talk about - for instance, I love sports, films of all sorts, food, music, and MANY other things - then our relationship would still be worthwhile! As long as we share a passion for SOMETHING, I think we'd be good :)

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