Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Use this forum for book and reading discussion that doesn't fall into another category. Talk about books, genres, reading issues, general literature, and any other topic of particular interest to readers. If you want to start a thread about a specific book or a specific series, please do that in the section below this one.
Post Reply
User avatar
Sweetp120
Posts: 178
Joined: 30 Sep 2018, 12:59
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 65
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-sweetp120.html
Latest Review: Purgatory's Angel by B Hughes-Millman

Re: Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Post by Sweetp120 »

I am married to my loving husband who doesn't read very often not because he cant or doesn't like to its just that he is a small town boy who grew up with a love of the outdoors. he was taught to hunt and fish and work on cars. whereas I was the type of child growing up they had to take my books away from me and ground me to the outside. Sometimes he hates the fact that I read a lot but when I'm not in the mood to fish with him, mostly because I am catching turtles instead of fish, or too frustrated to understand what he tries to teach me mechanically, because sometimes I have to be told things repeatedly or I have to find analogies that fits the process he's working on or even when he's hunting which I was never taught to do its what I go to, when I am not taking care of our son. yes, it sucks sometimes that I cant share that portion with him like did you like this book too, what did you think of it, but at the same time its nice because reading is distinctively mine and there are times where even though he doesn't know the book he will let me read excerpts out of the book to him because I find it funny. He still respects me and I respect him regardless of what we choose to do together and separately. we may be a unit but we still are our individual selves too. and its part of the reason why I love him because he accepts that I read and enjoy it and he doesn't ask me to stop or try to change it.
User avatar
Doug Jones
Posts: 120
Joined: 28 Aug 2018, 13:48
Currently Reading: Beyond Denial
Bookshelf Size: 23
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-doug-jones.html
Latest Review: The Crystilleries of Echoland by Dew Pellucid

Post by Doug Jones »

Sweetp120 wrote: 09 Oct 2018, 13:45 I am married to my loving husband who doesn't read very often not because he cant or doesn't like to its just that he is a small town boy who grew up with a love of the outdoors. he was taught to hunt and fish and work on cars. whereas I was the type of child growing up they had to take my books away from me and ground me to the outside. Sometimes he hates the fact that I read a lot but when I'm not in the mood to fish with him, mostly because I am catching turtles instead of fish, or too frustrated to understand what he tries to teach me mechanically, because sometimes I have to be told things repeatedly or I have to find analogies that fits the process he's working on or even when he's hunting which I was never taught to do its what I go to, when I am not taking care of our son. yes, it sucks sometimes that I cant share that portion with him like did you like this book too, what did you think of it, but at the same time its nice because reading is distinctively mine and there are times where even though he doesn't know the book he will let me read excerpts out of the book to him because I find it funny. He still respects me and I respect him regardless of what we choose to do together and separately. we may be a unit but we still are our individual selves too. and its part of the reason why I love him because he accepts that I read and enjoy it and he doesn't ask me to stop or try to change it.
That's really nice to hear that it doesn't compromise your relationship overall.

On the original question, for me I would say it's unlikely as reading is something I obsessively do. I won't say it's impossible though, and examples such as yours are the reason why, Sweetp120.
Nothing is more conductive to peace of mind than not having any opinions at all. - Georg Christoph Lichtenberg
teevic_o
Posts: 29
Joined: 08 Sep 2018, 13:09
Currently Reading: Paladin
Bookshelf Size: 143
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-teevic-o.html
Latest Review: Heartaches by H.M. Irwing

Post by teevic_o »

I really don't mind if he's not much of a reader. He could probably compensate it with something else he's great at. I have my pitfalls too after all, I'm not exactly the best with cars and mechanical machinery. But I do insist on some semblance of intelligence. I'm a horrid sapiosexual I'm afraid.
What we achieve inwardly will change our outer reality far more greatly than anything else.
~Plutarch
User avatar
Udifavour22
Posts: 1
Joined: 14 Jun 2018, 16:29
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 5

Post by Udifavour22 »

Yes, I could. It wouldn't be that hard,even I don't read a lot I wouldn't mind if I dated someone who didn't.
User avatar
smythemilie
Posts: 25
Joined: 09 Oct 2018, 18:13
Currently Reading: The Operator
Bookshelf Size: 76
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-smythemilie.html
Latest Review: Mirrored Worlds by Tayma Tameem

Post by smythemilie »

My boyfriend right now isn’t a big reader but that doesn’t change anything, he has favorite books but he doesn’t read as often as I do. It doesn’t really change anything though, he's still just as smart and we can hold conversations etc.
User avatar
Audrii_12
Posts: 4
Joined: 11 Oct 2018, 23:48
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Audrii_12 »

Yes i can. Most of my friends dont read. Im used to it. 😂
User avatar
Jsovermyer
Posts: 1281
Joined: 18 Sep 2018, 22:41
Favorite Book: Appaloosa Sky
Currently Reading: The Pocket Guide to Minimalism
Bookshelf Size: 147
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-jsovermyer.html
Latest Review: Solomon’s Porch by Janet Morris Grimes

Post by Jsovermyer »

No. We would have little to talk about. I read a lot.
User avatar
HaTsundereMiku
Posts: 7
Joined: 26 Sep 2018, 14:39
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 6
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hatsunderemiku.html
Latest Review: Superhighway by Alex Fayman
Reading Device: B00IKPYKWG

Post by HaTsundereMiku »

I married someone who doesn't read anything expect for game walkthroughs. I do find that this hinders topics in which we can conversate, and often I have to keep him informed on what I am reading so that I can tell him ideas, emotions and thoughts the book is giving me. It can be quite a chore, since I read books fairly quickly, but he doesn't seem to mind and likes the fact I am at home reading and not out and about partying with others.

So to answer the question, yes. I wish I didn't but at the same time, it has brought me closet to my husband and provides securry to our relationship.
User avatar
Lady Loch
Posts: 143
Joined: 30 Nov 2017, 05:18
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 38
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-lady-loch.html
Latest Review: Invisible Me by H M Irwing
Reading Device: pdf

Post by Lady Loch »

I am not thinking about dating and such as of now, but when I do date I hope it is with somebody who reads. Maybe not necessarily a geek or a bookworm but someone who enjoys learning new ideas. I enjoy discussing different things and ideas and I will surely like dating someone who does too. How exciting is that? [well at least for me :wink: ]
"People are like stained-glass windows. They sparkle and shine when the sun is out, but when the darkness sets in, their true beauty is revealed only if there is a light from within." -Elisabeth Kubler-Ross
Bavithra M
Posts: 206
Joined: 08 Oct 2018, 08:38
Currently Reading: Inspirience: Meditation Unbound
Bookshelf Size: 28
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-bavithra-m.html
Latest Review: The Lost Identity Casualties by Kim Ekemar

Post by Bavithra M »

Why not? Each and every individual is different everyone has a different taste and likes and dislikes.As long as the other person doesn't criticize me being a book worm and respects my passion Iam okay dating a person who doesn't read books.
---
Theresa Moffitt
In It Together VIP
Posts: 678
Joined: 18 Jun 2018, 22:27
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 294
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-theresa-moffitt.html
Latest Review: Royal Gossip by Trisha Goodwin
2024 Reading Goal: 20
2024 Goal Completion: 30%

Post by Theresa Moffitt »

As much as I love reading, I don’t think it would be a requirement for dating someone. People have different hobbies. As long as they could appreciate someone else’s enjoyment of reading and have their own hobbies, I don’t think it matters if they aren’t really a fan of reading
User avatar
HailKingEbi
Posts: 190
Joined: 19 Jun 2018, 13:55
Currently Reading: The Notebook
Bookshelf Size: 13
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-hailkingebi.html
Latest Review: Pastoring is not what you think by Elijah Oladimeji

Post by HailKingEbi »

just knowing someone reads has me attracted to the person. I don't think I can date someone who doesn't read.
We're all puppets, Laurie. I'm just a puppet who can see the strings - Doctor Manhattan.
User avatar
DakotaA
Posts: 139
Joined: 17 Jul 2018, 03:14
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 5
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-dakotaa.html
Latest Review: Purgatory's Angel by B Hughes-Millman

Post by DakotaA »

I'm a sci-fi and fantasy freak (with a trickle of horror and crime in there) and my husband only reads political and non-fiction books, so we basically have no crossover in our genres and it doesn't bother me one bit. If he didn't read at all I still think I wouldn't mind.. reading is so personal that as long as they didn't mind that I'm a total book nerd, we could both happily have our own hobbies.
Draco Dormiens Nunquam Titillandus
User avatar
Alice Thokchom
Posts: 233
Joined: 10 Oct 2018, 04:48
Currently Reading:
Bookshelf Size: 41
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-thokchom-alice.html
Latest Review: Sigfried’s Smelly Socks! by Len Foley

Post by Alice Thokchom »

Yes. Definitely! Because I am attracted to a totally different person from me. I think the diversity of interest is the thing that makes our world interesting.
User avatar
Kaven_Crimble_the_witless_71
Posts: 40
Joined: 16 Jul 2018, 17:59
Currently Reading: 1984
Bookshelf Size: 20
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-a-wolfe.html
Latest Review: Randy Love...at your service by Shay Carter

Post by Kaven_Crimble_the_witless_71 »

Wow, I never really thought about this as a question before. And such interesting responses! I really think it would be difficult to be romantically involved with someone who didn't read, or doesn't take the time to read anything. There's just a developmental component that might make communication very difficult. I am married to someone who reads, but yeah even thinking about being in the dating scene where you'd have to engage in conversation with someone who didn't read?! That sounds horrendous. haha
Post Reply

Return to “General Book & Reading Discussion”