Could you date someone who doesn't read?

Eckhart Aurelius Hughes · Post by **Scott** » 09 Jan 2007, 15:00

Could you date someone who doesn't read? I don't mean someone who can't read, but someone who chooses to read almost nothing, and who almost never reads a book. Could you get into a romantic relationship with such a person?

I doubt that I could. I could never get emotionally close to a person who doesn't read books, mainly because we could never discuss a specific book, and the person would never be able to take any of my recommendations let alone make any recommendations of their own to me.

(This is nothing that's happening to me right now, just a random hypothetical that I've been pondering when I can't sleep at night and such.

)

knightss · Post by **knightss** » 09 Jan 2007, 15:18

mm i think i could but they'd have to understand that i enjoy reading and that i read in my spare time. there are more things that can be discussed than just books. this is kind of hypocritical though because most of the people i choose to associate with read books and are able to hold better conversations than "how was your day?" and "did you see such-and-such tv show last night".. intellectual conversations are much better than mindless dribble.

Nessa Marie · Post by **Nessa Marie** » 09 Jan 2007, 18:10

Hmmm Thats a good question. I think I could. I have,granted the conversation is limited ,there are still things to talk about. I won't count someone out because it's just not their thing.

lapowers · Post by **lapowers** » 10 Jan 2007, 07:27

Reading for me is a hobby that I love to endulge. Not everyone has a passion for reading nor the patience. For me, I truly enjoy getting lost in the pages of a good book. You could also expand the question forward to apply to readers: Could I date someone who did not enjoy the same books as I do?

Hopefully a reader and non reader can exist in this world and perhaps the reader, being excited about a wonderful book can turn a non reader onto something new.

inkcharmed · Post by **inkcharmed** » 10 Jan 2007, 14:42

I've always considered dating a guy who read to be a fantasy. I only meet a few who do read for pleasure, and they don't turn out to be the people that I have chemistry with. So to all of you who can't imagine any other way... I am jealous.

Holly Fipps · Post by **Holly Fipps** » 10 Jan 2007, 17:20

NO!!! I only know a few guys that read but still...reading is a must! Some of the best conversations or debates start from a book. If he didn't read that would already narrow down the things to discuss not to mention eliminate my favorite hobby.

Linda · Post by **Linda** » 10 Jan 2007, 21:47

even if you do date someone who reads, conversation may still be limited if you and that person enjoy reading completely opposite things. I'd like someone to make an effort to be interested in reading just beacuse i'm interested but if they cant then i guess we'd have to find someother common ground. there are other people to talk about books with anyway.
*oh but they'd have to understanding there is no interrupting while i read lol

Heen · Post by **Heen** » 10 Jan 2007, 23:46

Interesting question...

I'm lucky, my partner is an avid reader, but I don't think it would be a big deal if I met someone and they didn't read, there are a plenty of other things we could talk about, music, movies, etc...

zeeshan · Post by **zeeshan** » 11 Jan 2007, 05:51

Utlimately, welthschauung is of prime importance. Reading is a vital part of mine. Most people who refuse to read tend to have an ignorance that's glaring and astonishing at times. Reading isn't the only thing that's important. Reading well and responsively are significant. People who are repelled by books are generally not particularly intelligent and can't normally carry stimualting conversations.

I don't think I could be friends with someone who didn't read, much less have a serious relationship with.

lasfnychick · Post by **lasfnychick** » 11 Jan 2007, 21:46

Reading is a very important part of my life...it is more than just a hobby. To be able to sit down, drown out everything around you and just immerse yourself into a story, getting to know each of the characters on a personal level, is something that no amount of TV or movies (though I do like to watch TV and I am a big movie person) can ever replace. But that is just my opinion and thoughts on reading. I wouldn't penalize someone that I am interested in for not having the same thoughts and feelings on reading. There are going to be things that they may have similar feelings toward that I don't paritcularly like. Relationships are about compromise and getting to know what other people like. I can say, however, that I have dated non-readers (actually that seems to be all about I date, and I don't know why either, that is just what happens I guess) and at some point they too start to get into reading, and I know that I helped make that happen. And the things that they may feel passionate about, I may start to like too. Relationships are give and take.

inkcharmed · Post by **inkcharmed** » 12 Jan 2007, 04:28

Honestly, I'm still amazed that almost all of the responses have been overwhelmingly in the I don't think I could date a non-reader camp. I certainly have never met all of these passionate male readers myself, and I don't know where the ladies find them in abundance.

Dating a non-reader has never put a damper on my reading habit though, so I don't think it's that big of a deal. I would love to have bookish conversations with a boyfriend, like I do with my handful of reader friends, and I've always envisioned being together, while just sitting and reading, in our picturesque little library with lots of mahogany and leather bound books

or in bed or something, as my holy grail of wonderfulness. But while that would delight me in someone, so do so many other things. So I've always thought it would be amazing to be with someone who loved reading like I do (along with the rest of the package), but I've never even considered it as a dealbreaker or requirement until this forum.

Trinah · Post by **Trinah** » 12 Jan 2007, 21:13

Yes, I could. It wouldn't be that hard, though I read a lot I wouldn't mind if I dated someone who didn't.

sleepydumpling · Post by **sleepydumpling** » 14 Jan 2007, 04:23

Ooh, that's a toughie. I can't imagine having anything in common with an non-reader... but then so long as he lets me read, and leaves me alone to it, I guess I could tolerate it? I really don't know without knowing the person!

DriftwoodJames · Post by **DriftwoodJames** » 15 Jan 2007, 16:29

No. Hell no. Hell No. It would not happen. Someone who chooses not to read, chooses not to excercise their mind, and a mind is the sexiest part of a woman's body. Then, all other things. I would never date someone who did not read. Dating such a person would result in reprehensions not worth my time.

Dating such a person would result in limited conversation, attention, and creativity. I prefer to date sociopathic mad-women. Something with a little spark in the gas furnace.

Danger and intrigue coupled with intellect and creativity are sexier than any run of the mill runway model, supermodel, or move-star.

J. Edward Nolan

LoveHatesYou · Post by **LoveHatesYou** » 16 Jan 2007, 12:01

As long as they are still thinking, then I am okay with it... but if they are one of those I refuse to think and let the TV do it for me then they can start packing before they put the suitcase down. No matter how good they look in a banana hammock. Which refutes the popular saying: No woman can reist a man who looks good in a speedo. I swear it's a popular saying. Or a heward it in a song once. Either way- no brain- no love.