The First Ten Focus Group Feedback for Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain
Because Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain was Book of the Day, some of our most trusted members have carefully looked over the cover, the description, and other aspects of this book as a part of purchase-intent focus group. We then asked each participant in the focus group if they planned to buy and read the book, and why they planned to buy and read the book or not. Their answer to that question and reasons are displayed below. We call this awesome feature The First Ten Focus Group.
Keep in mind, the responses from the members are not reviews. This is purchase-intent focus group which means the participants are people who have NOT yet bought or read your book. A purchase-intent focus group is an important and extremely useful marketing tool for any product, not just books. For other products, you might walk on the street and show people an item in a package and poll them about whether they would buy if or $X or not. These kind of focus groups are one of the ways big marketing companies find the ideal price points for products and test the effectiveness of different packaging. The focus group can help you identify your market so you how to target ads of your book, and it can (but may not) provide you new useful info about your "packaging" (e.g. your book cover, your book synopsis on Amazon, etc.). The point of the focus group comments is to give you information from people who have not bought or read your book about why they plan to buy your book which will help you in marketing the book. These are not reviews or critiques of your book because they are not from people have read the book. This is a marketing tool, not reviews. The trick of book marketing and book advertising is that you have to convince people who have not read your book yet that your book is worth buying and reading. For marketing, it doesn't matter much if people love your book after reading it if you cannot convince potential buyers before they read it that they will love it.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable. This is because we only poll about 20 or so readers, and all readers have to say "no" to almost all books. Over a million books are published each year. Even a very active reader cannot come close to even reading 1% of books out there.
This is also why publishing books is such a tough industry.
Vickie Noel
I like children's books, so I would have read this one outside the program. I'm a teacher, always on the lookout for new reading material for my pupils. My opinion changed after sampling the first few pages. I liked that Will's thoughts were written in italics to help children easily separate them from the rest of the read. However, I won't be reading further because of the book's formatting. First, the font is too tiny, and I had to zoom in a great deal to make out the written words. Next, navigation was a problem because it interfered with the positions of the words and caused me to skip certain portions of the book before trying to retrace my steps and locate the unread parts. Projecting this story for my pupils' to read would be very difficult. I found no grammatical errors. However, I'd like to draw attention to this sentence, "The first car was white and had gumdrops painted on the car." I would have preferred that "it" is used to replace "the car" at the end of the sentence for variety and avoid tautology. This isn't a grammatical error, but it's my recommendation for improvement. The OBC review I saw didn't influence my decision.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:57 am by Vickie Noel.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
psychopathycathy
I don't read children's books and the blurb has a grammatical error: "...train.H."e". So right off the bat, I think more professional editing is necessary. The sample isn't really long enough for me to read 10 pages, but from the acknowledgments, there were also questionable uses of semi-colon. Therefore, the sample didn't change my opinion, even though I appreciate the artistic style of the drawings. The official review didn't affect my opinion and I think the world-building actually sounds promising for those in the target age range.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:55 am by psychopathycathy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
va2016
The title "Will's adventure to the candy mountain" clearly indicates that this is a children's book. The cover that depicts a mountain-like shape that's made of candy also shows that it is a children's book. There are only 2 Amazon customer ratings, which is not a sufficient number to decide if I should sample the book or not. The Amazon summary provides a description of the story, but has spelling mistakes, e.g. "find" spelled as "frind". Based on this impression on editing quality I got from the Amazon summary, I would have skipped sampling the book if not for the First Ten program. As I sampled through the book, I found only the title page followed by another page that just has a 'Dedication' section and an 'Acknowledgement' section. Because of the impression I got from the Amazon summary about the quality of proofreading, and also because it's a children's book, I am not going to read this book in full. Since the sample didn't provide any content, I am not in a position to comment whether the book has been professionally edited. I didn't like anything specifically about the book. As an improvement, I would suggest editing the Amazon summary to correct the spelling and formatting errors. Although I found 2 OBC reviews of the book, my decision to not to read the book in full is based on my own sampling.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:55 am by va2016.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Manang Muyang
Oh goody! It's a children's book with a catchy title and an appealing cover. I would have gladly sampled it outside of First Ten. Children's books, especially those with lovely pictures like this one, are great for relieving stress. As the book was free and short, I read it already. The pictures were nicely done; I'd say they made me crave candy. However, the text was difficult to read; it was too small. Perhaps the author has to make adjustments to the Kindle version. I also found errors in the book. Some vocative commas were missed. One was on page 4: "Wake up Will" needed a comma before "Will." Another error was using "shown" instead of "shone" in the following sentence on page 14: "The colors were so beautiful, and it shown so brightly from the morning sun." The author needs to address the errors; there should be none in a children's book. The official OBC review gave full marks and noted no errors. I wonder why the reviewer missed the errors I found.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:35 am by Manang Muyang.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Jeremie Mondejar
Even if without this program, I will sample this book because I have a child to read along with me. The cover photo is attractive and I can't ignore it. Sadly, the sample had a few pages, and I had troubled downloading the book even if I already bought it. I like the colorful illustrations of the Candy Mountain. I can't decide yet if the book is professionally edited because I read a few pages only, though I don't notice any typos. I'm glad that the book has OBC review and Amazon review and their reviews solely affect my decision. I recommend to add at least five more pages in the sample.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:17 am by Jeremie Mondejar.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Ekta Kumari
The children's book depicts the story of a kid whose grandmother always tells him about a magical place called Candy Mountain. One day he does get the opportunity to visit the place and there he meets a friend, and their adventures begins. I liked the premise of the book and would have read the book as I was intrigued by the blurb. The thing I enjoyed the most while sampling is hands down the illustrations. They are colorful and look eye-catching. I also liked that the book has short liners on each page, which would make it an easy read for young kids. I did see an official review before sampling. I found two errors in the portion sampled. One error is in this sentence, "Wake up Will. It's time to go." I think there should be a comma before 'Will'. I would read the whole book as I like children's book and found the sample engaging. I have no specific recommendations for improvements.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 4:13 am by Ekta Kumari.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Annelore Trujillo
I would have sampled this book based on the genre, blurb, OBC review, cover and title. I am always trying to find new books for my kids, and this sounded like a good one. After reading the first ten pages, I won’t be finishing this book. I did not like the formatting of the book. Two pages show up at a time on the ebook, and the print is very small. It’s awkward to try to read one of the pages at a time. I liked the pictures and the story about how Will’s grandmother told the story of the candy mountain. However, it was too hard to read. I also noticed errors that told me the book was not professionally edited. For example, in the very first sentence “grandmother” should not be capitalized. I don’t read books that aren’t edited.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 12:49 am by Annelore Trujillo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Rodel Barnachea
After I pored over the title's official OBC review and Amazon page, I decided not to purchase the book. I am not a child; I don't think the book is written for an adult like me. I also do not have any child, nor do I know a friend or relative with a child to whom I can gift this book. Sampling the title failed to change my mind, as I still wouldn't acquire the children's book. Nothing in the Amazon sample piqued my curiosity, engaged my attention, or convinced me to read the rest of the story. The sample is very short and includes only a dedication, acknowledgments, and two paragraphs' worth of the story. My favorite part is when Will's grandmother snuggled closer to him for him to sleep. I didn't note any errors in the text. I believe the book is professionally edited. I have nothing to suggest to the author.
First Ten review added on February 26, 2021, at 12:42 am by Rodel Barnachea.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Nikolas Farmakis
This is a children's book about a boy named Will who is placed on board a train to go to Candy Mountain, where he can enjoy picking delicious sweets and candy along with his friend, Quinn. I would not have read this book based on the cover, the title, or the genre, as I do not like children's fantasy books. I will not read this book, as I am not a child, so this book seemed unrealistic and boring to me. I found no grammar mistakes in the text, which shows that the book was well edited. What I liked most about the book were its colorful illustrations, which gave the text liveliness and excitement. What I disliked most about this book was that it followed a cliche and typical children's book storyline, so to improve, the author should make the plot more creative and original. This book had an Official OnlineBookClub review, but this did not influence my opinion.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 11:57 pm by Nikolas Farmakis.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Diana Lowery
The cover was a little too pastel for me and the mountain did not appear to be very tall. I was surprised to see that the author had Dr. in front of her name, but it reminded me of Dr. Seuss. There were two errors in the blurb "of a train. H."e is told . . ." and the word "frind" should be find. I like that the book is dedicated to the author's grandson. The two reviews I read had conflicting ratings. One reviewer mentioned trouble downloading the book, and I also experienced this problem. I suggest that the author have the book edited. I think that a book of 62 pages is too long for the recommended age of 4. I liked the positive messages that the author included. I will not finish reading the book because it is a children's book, and I had trouble down loading it.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 7:15 pm by Diana Lowery.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sanju Lali
From the cover and the title, I inferred that this is a children's book. Therefore, I read the official review of this book as I was keen to know what are the takeaways from it. The official review helped me to understand that the book focuses on Will, who is having an adventure on a candy mountain. This information encouraged me to read the sample of the book before purchasing it. When I read the first ten pages, I realized that this book is not professionally edited because I found some grammatical errors in the sample. For example, the sentence, "The train moved along faster and faster and the landscape started to change...". The sentence could have been, "The train moved along faster and faster, and the landscape started to change...". The thing l liked the most is the bunch of illustrations with rich details that make them very pleasant to see. I had a problem with zooming and turning over the pages because of the setting of Kindle copy. My suggestion to the author is to go for a round of professional editing and also change the format to single page scrolling. Looking at all these facts, I decided not to purchase and read this book today but wait until the author could help by addressing my suggestion so that I could have a pleasurable reading experience without facing any difficulties.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 6:10 pm by Sanju Lali.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
winecellarlibrary
I would not have sampled this book outside the program because I do not purchase ebooks of children's books. The positive official OBC review did not impact my initial impression.
This book was offered for free today, so I decided to download and read the whole book. I would not have read the whole book had it not been free as I do not have a child of the appropriate age to read this book to, but I did read it knowing it would be a quick read.
I like that the author was inspired by her grandson to turn her bedtime story into a book. My own mother did the same thing many years ago, so I was reminded of her joy in writing children's stories. I would recommend that the author have this book edited further as I found several minor errors. Here are a few examples:
Missing commas for parenthetical content on page 3: "To my grandson[] Will[]..." and "To my husband[] Walter[]..."
Misuse of a semi-colon on page 3: "Many thanks to my parents, and sister and friends for all their love and support[;] especially..." (A comma should replace the semi-colon.)
Capitalization of the noun "Grandmother" on page 4 (it should only be capitalized when used as a name): "Will's [G]randmother would put Will and his brothers to bed..."
Missing comma after introductory clause: "Wake up[] Will. It's time to go."
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 2:59 pm by winecellarlibrary.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Jsovermyer
The cover is brightly colored and interesting. It would be attractive to any small child, and I would buy it from the cover alone. The official reviewer liked this book and gave it a high rating. I found one grammatical error on page 8. "He wondered what will happen next as he looked out the window with great anticipation?" This sentence should end in a period not a question mark. I liked that Will found a friend, Quinn, on the train. I liked that the children were so polite to the gingerbread people, always thanking them. There was nothing I disliked about the book. Since the story was short, I already finished it.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 12:12 pm by Jsovermyer.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Scerakor
After reviewing the title, genre, cover, blurb, and review of this book, I would not have read this book. I'm very particular on the children's books that I read and present to my children. After reading the first ten pages I didn't change my mind and therefore will not be buying and reading the rest of this book. I liked the simple and traditionally produced images in this book. I particularly liked the images of the train and the farmlands. That being said, this book just didn't capture my attention enough to want to read it to my kids. The text seemed forced and a bit awkward at times. Although the book looked generally well written and edited, there was one thing that I would have changed from the sample I read. I didn't like the tendency for the author to use italics instead of quotation marks for Will's thoughts. This became (only slightly) confusing when there was a question he was thinking. For example, on page 9 will "thought" a question. This thought ended in a question mark, but the rest of the sentence continued with no additional capitalisation. There was an official OBC review, and although it was very praising of the book, it did not affect my decision at all.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 11:47 am by Scerakor.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
gen_g
Based on the title and cover, it seems like a children's book, which I am not in the market for; hence, I would not have sampled it. I have also come across a positive OBC review of the book, but this would not have changed my decision not to sample, since this book does not belong to a genre that I am looking for. After sampling, there are a couple of errors present. For example, on the "Dedications and Acknowledgements" page, the semicolon in "...their love and support; especially Laurel Manning..." is wrongly used – semicolons are only used to separate independent fragments, i.e., clauses that are independent. A colon would be more appropriate. I suggest more editing, as there are many errors present. However, I appreciate that the illustrations on each page correspond to the text; this will help children to better immerse themselves in the story and know better what is happening. For example, when the story talks about how Will loves to listen to his grandmother's story about the Candy Mountain (a place where his grandmother has been to) during bedtime every Saturday night, there is a picture of a bed, with a boy (Will) and an older lady (Will's grandmother) sitting down on a bed on the same page. However, as I am not in the market for children's books, I will not be reading the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 11:07 am by gen_g.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mvictoria
After reading the online book club review and the summary, I was interested in this magical Candy land! After reading the first ten pages, I’m intrigued and excited to finish reading. I found no errors. I would improve the layout of the book and make each page one page of the book, instead of two pages at once. I know this is done so the illustrations can be seen in whole, but it made it impossible to read in my phone, as the words were too small. I have no other improvements. The book grabs your attention right from the start and thrusts you into a world of magic and wonder! Even though this sounds like a good book, I have no children and I don’t think I’ll read this book for my own pleasure. It sounds like a great book for kids and I agree with the reviewer’s ages of 8-12, as some of the words (like eerie) may be difficult for younger ages.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 10:49 am by Mvictoria.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Iva Stoyanova
If I wasn't part of this program I wouldn't have chosen to sample or read this book. It's a children's book so this is my main reason. I don't normally read children's books. The cover and the title seem good for a kid's story. It seems like an enjoyable read for the little ones. I see lots of colors on the cover which make it engaging and eye-catching. The title is also suggesting an adventure which is surely a fun thing from the story. The official review supported my thoughts. It definitely sounds like an enjoyable children's story. However, I am not going to buy and read this book. As I said, I don't normally read this genre and I would not enjoy it much. Also, I didn't change my mind after reading the first ten pages.
I find the book to be professionally edited. I liked the well-written content and the nice illustrations. The colors are vivid and very well-done. I am sure many children will find the story engaging. They will also enjoy very much looking at the illustrations and imagining the story while reading. I don't have suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 10:32 am by Iva Stoyanova.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Maria Esposito
I knew I would not be interested in reading this book before I sampled it. The main reason is that I do not like reading children's books. Furthermore, the blurb does not appear professionally edited as there is an error ("H."e is told to hurry...") I find the title and cover design delightful, and I am sure they will catch the attention of young readers. The book has one customer reviews on Amazon, but this had no impact on my decision. Reading the first ten pages did not make me change my mind. I find the illustrations lovely, vibrant, and colorful. However, because I do not read children's books and I have no kids of my own that I could gift this book to, I will not read it. The book seems professionally edited, as I did not come across errors. It has professional reviews on this website, but this had no impact on my decision.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 8:55 am by Maria Esposito.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Howlan
The cover is colorful and suits this book as it is suitable for children. The synopsis and the Official OBC Review mentions that this book is a short and nice story that will appeal to children. The first ten pages start with Will listening to his grandmother about CandyVille before he is going to bed. He is woken by a female conductor who takes him to a train to CandyVille with his newfound friend Quinn. The train traveled through trees, forests, mountains and finally reached CandyVille. The narration is nice and friendly. I think this book would suit children and they would enjoy it a lot. However, I am not going to buy and read this book as I am not the target audience of this book. No typos were found in the first ten pages. I found nothing to improve in the first ten pages. The Official OBC Review is present, and the reviewer rates it highly.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 8:44 am by Howlan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
evraealtana
I don't have children, so I have no need for a children's book and no desire to read one. I wasn't sure why the conductor was specified to be a "lady conductor", since "conductor" is gender-neutral. Specifically calling her out as a lady implies that most conductors AREN'T ladies (and therefore are men), which seems dated. I liked that Will's new friend was named Quinn, since Quinn is becoming popular as a girl's name and so boys named Quinn might appreciate having examples of male Quinns in literature so that they don't feel their name is too feminine. I felt that Will and Quinn looked too similar to one another; they were of similar heights and builds, and both boys were blond, although they wear their hair differently. It would have better served a message of diversity if they looked different from one another. I didn't dislike the book, but have no reason to continue reading it. Unlike the official OBC reviewer, I had no trouble loading the book on my device, so the noted size issue is probably a result of device or connection capacity and therefore would only impact some users. I found one error in the first ten pages: a missing hyphen in "What a magical looking train" (magical-looking).
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 5:45 am by evraealtana.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Justine Ocsebio
I wouldn’t have sampled this book based on the genre, as I do not like children’s books. In the sample, I liked the vivid descriptions of the places the train passed by, like the city, a forest, and a farm. The story sounds like a fun adventure for a young reader. I’m not going to read the book because I’m not interested in the genre. I disliked nothing, and I also didn’t see anything that needed improvement. The text is well edited. The official review did not affect my decision.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 5:16 am by Justine Ocsebio.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
J_odoyo
Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain, written by Dr.Gerry Haller and illustrated by Y. M. Cho in, is a well-illustrated children’s book, with a vital message for children. The cover page is wonderfully done, and I think the title was attractive enough. The illustrations are highly facinating and suitable for young kids. I couldn’t find any error or anything to dislike about this book (in the pages I've read), this makes me believe that the book was professionally edited. The book’s description on the Amazon website was informative and could draw one’s attention to know more about this book. It also had an official OnlineBookClub review, which gave insight into what the book is all about. Besides, there were also other reviews from other reviewers posted on the Amazon website which were another plus for this book. Will's story and his adventure to The Candy Mountain seemingly envelopes lessons for children who will read this book. The sample I have read is well-written, and sincerely, I wouldn't recommend anything for the improvement of this book. Having read the sample and the OnlineBookClub review, I’m not going to finish reading this book because I’m not a fan of children’s books. However, I may consider reading it to my kid one day.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 1:47 am by J_odoyo.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sou Hi
The cover is colorful, so it will be attracting to children. There is only one rating on Amazon, but the official review sounds interesting, so I decided to give it a try. However, Kindle edition has only the cover available, while the print version offers one single page of the content. The story is about the Candy Mountain, where nobody but exceptionally good kids could go to. Will's grandma herself had been to the place when she was a child. I like the concept of the Candy Mountain and the boys' adventure there. It feels similar to Alice in her Wonderland, and I wonder if Will's and Quinn's experiences will be the same. However, I notice a number of errors on the back cover alone, so I would suggest another round of editing. I want to read an error-free book, so I won't buy this.
Error example: 1. Wills Grandmother has told Will about the Candy Mountain since he was a small child. -> Lack of an apostrophe. It should be [Will's Grandmother]. Also, the names of the Candy Mountain are inconsistent. It is written as "The Candy Mountain" in the content page, while it appears as "the Candy Mountain" on the covers, the blurb, and the title.
2. Will can hardly believe he is going to the Candy Mountain, Together, there are many decisions to make. -> It should be a period between "Candy Mountain" and "Together" instead of a comma.
First Ten review added on February 25, 2021, at 1:00 am by Sou Hi.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Shrabastee Chakraborty
The cover looked cheery. Since I love reading children's books, I was immediately drawn to it. Additionally, the official OBC review rated this a full 4 stars. Based on thsse, I would have read the book. I found no errors in the first ten pages. They showed Will going to sleep after listening about the candy mountain from his grandma. A lady conductor then arrives and takes him on a train to the candy mountain. I loved the colorful pictures that adorned the pages. The story seemed quite engaging. However, my only suggestion for improvement is to make the format a bit more accessible. The pictures were getting hazy as I was navigating different parts of them. Apart from that, I have no other complaints. I will read the book.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 11:24 pm by Shrabastee Chakraborty.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Kaitlyn Canedy
Because I do not have any children, I likely would have skipped the sample of Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain if it hadn't been the OnlineBookClub's book of the day. Even after reading the sample, I had already decided that I did not want to finish the book before reading the official OnlineBookClub review for it. I liked the concept the most; I can only imagine what would happen if Candy Mountain was real and every one of us were to visit it. I did not find any grammatical errors at all in the sample, and I cannot think of anything that needs to be done to improve this book. Readers that are parents with older elementary-aged children will likely find that this book will be an excellent read for their kids.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 11:01 pm by Kaitlyn Canedy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Ari Martinez
If it wasn't for this program, I would not have read this book based on the title, cover, or Official OnlineBookClub review because I do not have any children to read this book to. Since the book is so short and it was free to download, I just went ahead and read it all, so I guess that's the answer to the question "Are you going to buy and read the whole book?" My favorite part of the book was how well the illustrations matched the descriptions. I also liked the children's visit to the factory that was next to the bakery. To improve the book, I would change the format. It was difficult to read on my device and the words took a bit of time to focus. I found two editing mistakes. The most obvious was a missing opening quotation mark on the last page (Tell me all about it. It must have been a wonderful adventure!”).
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 10:04 pm by Ari Martinez.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Verna Coy
I would have picked this book up even if it hadn’t been on the First Ten program today. The cover is so inviting, I KNOW kids will love that aspect of it.
As I read the book, the storyline initially reminded me of The Polar Express, since it follows the same storyline almost exactly, right down to the spiral-mountain. Later, however, the book reminded me of Willy Wonka and The Chocolate Factory. If those two stories were combined, I feel that this book would be the product. It’s not necessarily a bad thing, although perhaps doesn’t feel as original as it could. What I loved the most in this book was the illustration work. It looks hand-done and so beautiful. The book is, without a doubt, professionally edited. I saw no errors whatsoever, and see no need to improve the book in any way. I enjoyed the 4-star review on the Online Book Club. Great job!
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 9:51 pm by Verna Coy.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Stephanie Runyon
The cover is very colorful and I would have sampled this book since I have a younger child I read with every evening. I liked the illustrations and the text was written in the appropriate contrasting color, which I find an important factor for readability. The book is professionally edited and I would not improve anything. I have decided to share this story with my son. There was an OBC review but it did not influence my decision to read the entire story. I read no other online reviews.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 9:20 pm by Stephanie Runyon.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Gabrielle Sigaki
Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain by Dr.Gerry Hatller is a children's book that talks about Will and Quinn with their adventures through the Candy Mountain. If I didn't sample this book, I would read it based on its Official OnlineBookClub review that I saw since I enjoyed the fact that the novel talked about the importance of friendship. After sampling it, I didn't change my mind, and I will read the entire book since I enjoyed the colorful illustrations and the engaging narrative. Besides, the book seems professionally edited, there's nothing to be improved in it, and my favorite aspect was the novel's design that brings bright illustrations alternated with short texts about the pictures.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 8:08 pm by Gabrielle Sigaki.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Sarah_Khan
The cover and title of this book reminded me of the board game Candyland. I would not have picked this up because it is a children's book and I do not have any children. This book seems well edited. After seeing the first two pages, I thought the illustrations would be boring, but I'm happy to say they greatly improve. The story bears quite a resemblance to The Polar Express. The official OBC review was positive. Since this book was short and free for today, I did download it and I read the whole thing. My one tiny suggestion for the author is to maybe have Will and Quinn illustrated a little differently (e.g. different color hair or pajamas).
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 8:01 pm by Sarah_Khan.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
MsH2k
I would not have sampled this book if I were not part of this program. The cover did not attract me, and sample pages of children’s books often are not long enough to give a feel for the story.
This book is listed for children 4-10 years old. I flipped through it and thought it was rather long for this age group. Some pages had a lot of words. This may intimidate young struggling readers, but it may be fine for more advanced reader at this age. There were also several advanced words such as exceptionally, envision, eerie, anticipation, and majestically.
It is a cute story, and children do love candy, but I thought there were a lot of sweets! When they got to the ice cream, I was feeling a little sick at my stomach, imagining eating all the candy so far. They hadn’t even gotten to the root beer or the chocolate yet. I miscounted the sample pages, and since I was already halfway through the book anyway, I finished it.
I found a few minor grammatical errors in the sample pages. For example, it should be lie instead of lay on page 4: “Grandma, please lay down with me for a while.”
On page 10, there should be a comma before the vocative: Will said, “Come with me Quinn.”
The featured OnlineBookClub review was thorough, but it had no bearing on my decision to finish this book because I had already completed it before I read the review. I have no suggestions for improvement.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 7:59 pm by MsH2k.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Chelsy Scherba
The illustrations are really colorful and cute. It reminds me a little of the Candyland game. The idea of a train taking you to the mountain reminded me a lot of The Polar Express. I’m curious to learn what sort of adventures and experiences take place on the way to Candy Mountain. The review was positive and I really have no suggestions for improvements. I don’t have kids, but I enjoy reviewing kids books. I wouldn’t have found it outside of the book club program and I don’t see any errors to correct.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 7:18 pm by Chelsy Scherba.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
CrescentMoon
After reading the blurb, I wouldn't pick this book up because I don't read children's books and there aren't any kids for me to read this book to so I'm not the target audience for this. After reading the sample, I didn't see any spelling or grammar errors. The writing style was simple and straightforward which is expected considering this is aimed for kids so it's definitely written in a style that children would be able to understand. What I liked best about the book is how Will's grandmother told him the story of the Candy Mountain. Something about a grandmother telling her grandson a wonderful, magical story about a Candy Mountain just sounds so nostalgic and loving. It gave me a warm feeling inside. I do not have any suggestions for improvement. There was an onlinebookclub review, but I'm not the target audience for this so I won't be reading the rest.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 7:02 pm by CrescentMoon.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Lisa A Rayburn
Even if I had not been a member of this program, the genre and title would likely have drawn me to this book. I remember the tale of (Rock) Candy Mountain from when I was a child and still consider it a great children's story. I am always looking for good children's books to read with my grandson, and this one fits that bill quite nicely. The cover is also adorable. I am not familiar with the author, so that would not have affected my decision. The blurb summarizes the story quite well, and while it is not exactly the story I remember, it's close enough. There is one positive customer review on the Amazon site. Although I did not see a review from this program explicitly identified as being from this program, if I had, I would have been interested in what the reviewer had to say. The review on this site was quite complimentary of the book and furthered my interest in it. I actually went to my Kindle to read the book rather than just reading the sample and found the story of Will and Quinn's exploration of Candy Mountain to be one that will delight children. After all, what child can resist a land where the trees grow candy, the rivers are chocolate, and the snow is made of ice cream? I also liked that only 'good' children could enter the gates, although I wish that had been expounded on a bit. "Good" means different things to different people. Did the author mean manners? Picking up other people's litter? Does everything count even if it is edging toward 'bad'? Overall, I liked the book and will be purchasing a copy to read with my grandson. The book seemed well-edited. I found no errors.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 5:21 pm by Lisa A Rayburn.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
xsquare
I don’t usually read children’s books, so I wouldn’t have sampled the book based on the cover, title or blurb. In addition, there were also typos in the Amazon blurb, which made me even more hesitant to try the book. The official OBC review did not convince me. I like the style of the illustrations. However, I found another typo in the blurb of the print edition, where ‘Wills Grandmother’ is missing an apostrophe. Other than the typos, I don’t think that there was anything the author could have done better. However, I found the typos to be unacceptable as it is a children’s book, so I don’t think I will be reading the rest of the book.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 4:09 pm by xsquare.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Odette Chace
I like the title and the cover. The synopsis on Amazon was interesting, but it contained multiple errors. The official Online Book Club review gave the work a perfect rating of 4 out of 4 stars and mentioned that the book teaches kids a valuable lesson. I don't read children's books for fun, so I normally wouldn't sample this bok, but there is nothing I immediately dislike about it. "To my grandson[,] Will[,] who felt everyone should hear this story" (pg. 3). I noticed a couple other errors in the first ten pages and don't believe the work was professionally edited. The text in the book was quite small. I had to zoom in to read it, which made it difficult to turn pages. This was my least favorite aspect of the book. My favorite aspect of the book was the illustrations. I don't plan to finish reading the book because I don't enjoy children's literature.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 3:47 pm by Odette Chace.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kirsi Cultrera
With its adorable illustrations, this children’s book was sure to catch my eye. I am always searching for something to read with my kids, and I believe I would have taken a closer look at this book had I seen it somewhere else first. I liked the illustrations, but somehow the text appeared too small and was quite hard to read with my reading device. The story was cute and appropriately educative. I believe this book has been professionally edited. I located two Official OnlineBookClub reviews but did not read any of them. Even if this book is not that long, reading such a small print was tiring, and therefore, I decided not to read this book further.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 2:30 pm by Kirsi Cultrera.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Laura Ungureanu
The book's appearance didn't make a great impression because I find this art style too old-fashioned. However, the OBC review made a compelling case, making me at least curious to try this book. I liked the creativity of the author in making up this story. It really feels suited for children and I get the feeling that it can really enhance their imagination. However, I still don't like the art style, which is also the reason I want to stop reading. I would recommend a more youthful art style because visual images are really important to children. Regarding the editing, I suggest adding a comma before the name in "Wake up Will". Without it, the message could be misinterpreted.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 2:13 pm by Laura Ungureanu.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kasun Perera
Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain by Dr.Gerry Haller is a children's book with a nice message regarding what good things a kid might get for being obedient. The title and the colourful cover page was enough to decide that it is a children's book. It is highly rated on Amazon. Since I am not much fond of the genre, I did not think of reading this one. The official OBC review also gave this a high rating, yet it did not change my mind.
I sampled the first few pages. The story is written beautifully, and it is laid along with the beautiful illustrations. Out of what I read, I did not find any mistakes. So it seems as professionally edited. I would like to have this book printed in a larger font. In some pages, the letters were blended with the illustrations, making it a bit difficult to read. Anyway, after sampling the first few pages, I am still not going to buy this and read the rest of it.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 1:36 pm by Kasun Perera.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Mariana Figueira
If I hadn't read the sample, I don't think I would've picked this book, because I'm not interested in children's books. The cover and summary seem nice, it's just not my genre of choice. After reading the first ten pages, I can say that the book seems professionally edited and what I liked the most was the idea of a land made entirely out of candy; I didn't notice anything that required improvement. Still, I will not be reading the book simply because I'm not interested in kid's books. This one has an Online BookClub review, but that didn't affect my decision.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 1:23 pm by Mariana Figueira.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Kajori Sheryl Paul
'Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain' is a children's book written by Dr. Gerry Haller. Will's grandma had been telling him stories of "The Candy Mountain." She had visited the magical place as a child herself. Will envisioned every word she said. One night, he was woken up by a conductor. She led him to a train bound for the magical land. Will met Quinn there. The book is professionally edited as I did not fund any error. The illustrations were pretty. I liked them. However, I think that the words could have been in a larger font. This can improve. The title and cover are apt. The OBC review and the Amazon reviews are great as well. I will give this book a skip as I am not in the mind-frame to read children's books as of now.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 12:55 pm by Kajori Sheryl Paul.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Brenda Creech
This cover and title drew my attention right away because I am always looking for books for my great-grandson. I would have checked this book out even without reviews to read. After reading the official review, I was convinced this would be a book my great-grandson would enjoy. Reading the first ten pages of the book convinced me I wanted to gift him this book. The portion I read was about Will's grandmother telling her grandsons about the Candy Mountain and how only good children could go there. She had gone when she was a child. It was also about Will and Quinn meeting on the train on the way to Candy Mountain and their arrival at the gingerbread house train depot. I love the illustrations in the book. I did not notice any errors, so I believe the book was professionally edited. I also did not see anything I felt needed improvement. I am definitely going to finish reading this book and passing it on to my great-grandson because I know he will enjoy it.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 12:47 pm by Brenda Creech.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
Emy Katherine
The story follows a kind, respectful boy named Will, who embarks on an adventure journey as he explores the Candy Mountain, a magical place filled with chocolate, ice cream, cookies, candy canes, and marshmallows. As I am not a huge fan of children's books, I would not have read the book based on the genre. However, I changed my mind after reading the first ten pages and the OBC review. The writing style was pleasant to read, and I particularly liked the colorful, full-page illustrations. Sadly, as I also found some errors, I would suggest another round of editing. For example, it should be written “Wake up, Will" instead of "Wake up Will." (page 4) It should also be written "magical-looking train" in the following sentence: "What a magical looking train, thought Will." (page 5) Despite the editing issues, this charming story will surely appeal to those who enjoy reading children's books that teach children to be kind, friendly, respectful, and grateful.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 12:38 pm by Emy Katherine.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
AntonelaMaria
If I haven't read this book through this program, I wouldn't have read it otherwise. I usually don't read children's books. But the Offical Onlinebookclub review intrigued me, and the book was free, so I decided to give it a chance. I like the story and illustrations. However, the children are drawn as much older. In some of the pictures, they look like teenagers. Nevertheless, I wouldn't change that. One thing that I would change is the confusing format of the book, which is hard to read. Or at least on my devices. I didn't notice any grammatical errors.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 12:36 pm by AntonelaMaria.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
PeterRabitt20
Based on the cover illustration and the OBC review, I would read this book. The cover page makes the book look exciting—it's about a land of candy. The OBC review gave it high marks. The sample didn't give much, aside from the front and back matter of the book. Therefore, I downloaded the entire book and read the first ten pages. I would continue to read this book. I liked the hand-drawn illustrations. They looked original. However, I found an error in the first sentence. The noun "grandmother" was unnecessarily capitalized—it was not used as a proper noun. It seemed to be professionally edited but could use another round of proofreading. Also, I would suggest omitting the article in "The Candy Mountain." There was an OBC review, and it did sway my decision.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 12:36 pm by PeterRabitt20.
Do you plan to read the whole book? Yes!
María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda
The cover of the book is very eye-catching, but the letters used on the title are so decorated that they end up being hard to read. The blurb has a tiny editing mistake but, overall; it seems like a very relatable story for children. All kids like candy, as far as I know. Despite this and the good ratings, I wouldn't have bought the book because I don't have kids.
I only read the first ten pages because the formatting makes the read very hard. The letter is super small and the file (as the reviewer pointed out) is too heavy for many devices. What I liked the most were the illustrations and the fact that the author included people from different ethnic backgrounds. I especially loved that the train conductor was a woman. However, the repetition seemed unnecessary: "In front of him stood a lady conductor of a train. She was a thin woman with black curly hair." If the author was going to follow up with a physical description, calling her a "lady conductor" seems odd and outdated. I also liked that the vocabulary is appropriate for kids, but still challenging with words such as "envision" or "eerie". I only found a missing comma on page 9: "The train moved along faster and faster and the landscape started to change." I would suggest fixing the format: the letters are too small, especially for kids, and the file too heavy. The author should also fix the editing mistake on the blurb because it gives a bad first impression. The official review didn't influence my decision because I decided not to buy the book based on my life circumstances.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 11:54 am by María Andrea Fernández Sepúlveda.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Timothy Rucinski
Since there are no youngsters in my home these days, I won't be purchasing or reading this book. But if I did, it would have to be in a non-digital format as using the Kindle app made it very difficult to read. So I won't be reading this book. The Official Review was generous and the cover quite warming, perhaps enough to have had me consider it should I have been in the market for such a book. Most of all I enjoyed the illustrations. However, I didn't understand how such a story could involve young men and women who, by the drawings, seemed too old to be included in such a tale. As a suggestion, I would recommend using smaller children to make the fantasy more plausible. I also disliked referring to the conductor as a "lady conductor." "Conductor" is sufficient. It appears that the book was professionally edited based upon the wording that I could read.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 11:22 am by Timothy Rucinski.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Bertha Jackson
I love the book cover and title, but I would not have checked this book out because of the genre. I do not enjoy reading children’s books. The first ten pages, the blurb, and editorial and OnlineBookClub reviews are all positive for the book. While reading the first ten pages, I enjoyed the illustrations and the flow of the story. I was disappointed that the book was not Kindle-friendly and had a very small print. I would recommend that the author fix this issue if possible. I did not see any errors in the first ten pages. The book appears to have been edited by a professional editor. Although I downloaded this book to my Kindle app, I will not be reading this book because it is a book for children.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 9:59 am by Bertha Jackson.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Theresa Moffitt
I would not have picked this book up based on the cover alone because it is obviously a children’s book. However, the title and cover art of the book look like something children would enjoy. The Online Book Club review of this book was very positive and gave it a rating of 4 out of 4 stars. It didn’t increase my interest in reading this book because it confirmed that it is a children’s book. I didn’t read an additional customer review. The first ten pages were interesting and would entertain children. It also includes illustrations that are colorful and help to tell the story. In the story, a young boy’s grandmother tells him a bedtime story about Candy Mountain and describes it as a wonderful place where good children go. Later that night after he goes to sleep, he is awakened by a train conductor who takes him to a train to go to Candy Mountain. I didn’t see any errors in the first ten pages, so I believe the book was professionally edited. I also didn’t see any area that the author could improve upon. Since this is a children’s book and I am not the intended audience, I will not finish reading this book.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 9:28 am by Theresa Moffitt.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Sonya Nicolaidis
I always like reviewing children’s books as I find them sweet and refreshing. When I read the OBC reviewer’s comments, I felt like this was a different kind of book with a few subtle lessons thrown in for young readers. I liked the look of it, and was interested to give it a chance. Unfortunately, I was not able to read much of the text as the sample only had the first two pages. The illustrations were quite delightful and expertly done. I don’t have any comments to make about the editing of the book, as there was not enough content to judge, but I wasn’t impressed with the blurb on Amazon which was poorly written and fraught with errors and spelling mistakes such as “friend” spelt as “frind”. This would immediately put me off reading any further. I really think the author and proofreader should do some careful editing and fix this aspect, as it is the first thing that readers will come across. Based on this, I would not buy or read the whole thing until it is more professionally presented.
First Ten review added on February 24, 2021, at 8:45 am by Sonya Nicolaidis.
Do you plan to read the whole book? No
Total ~ 36%
Will's Adventure to the Candy Mountain earned a score of 36%.
In other words, out of the top-level reviewers who read at least the first 10 pages of this book, 36% plan to read the whole book.
IMPORTANT: Any score over 10% is considered very good. And any score above 0% is acceptable.
Over a million books are published each year. Any given person could not even read .0001% of the books out there. This means readers have to be very selective. Even taking the time to look over reviews and blurbs, let alone read samples, is more time than most readers can afford for most books. The First Ten is a powerful focus group that addresses those issues. It creates a helpful tool for authors, publishers, and other readers.
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