Could you date someone who doesn't read?

[Spoons]

Whether i date them or not, i know very few people that enjoy reading. It is really bizarre. My friend is doing a degree in English Literature but she hates reading and i rarely see her reading anything. It baffles me, it really does.

[Eric]

There was a great article about love and literary tastes in the N.Y. Times recently. Here's a link: http://www.nytimes.com/2008/03/30/books/review/Donadio-t.html

Here in northern Maine hardly anyone reads for pleasure, so I've dated non-readers quite a bit. I don't mind if reading doesn't happen to be someone's hobby, but they need to be intellectually curious in some way. If they care more about shopping and drinking than the bigger, more abstract questions, then I doubt we would be compatible.

[jenmcd]

I am married (for 9 years) to a man who doesn't read books. Ironically he has an English degree and I have a science background. I now read virtually nothing but literary fiction. It doesn't particularly bother me that he doesn't read books as he is an avid newspaper reader and is very well informed about most things. In fact, I can be a bit precious about my books and on the odd occasion when he has read something of mine I have not appreciated the way he's treated it. The only down side is that his eyes glaze over when I start talking about what I'm reading. However, this has caused me to seek out this forum and others where I can talk about my obsessions.

[Julie20201]

Ha, great thread. I probably could, but we'd have far less to talk about. He'd just have to deal with my book prattle.

[saethwr]

My boyfriend doesn't enjoy reading, but I have no problem with it. We have so much in common that this is basically our one big difference. Usually when he plays video games (which I can't stand to play for a second) I'll read a book. We're in the same room and I actually enjoy doing these two different activities together. We're both doing something different, yet we are still doing it together.

I also think it works well because he will listen to my discussions and rambling about books and take an interest in them. He doesn't particularly enjoy reading (he will pick up a book on occassion if it is about history), but he always takes time to listen to me discuss books and he will even ask questions based on what I've told him. Since he takes an interest in my hobbies I find that it works for me.

If someone couldn't appreciate or tolerate the fact I enjoy reading, I think that would be a problem for me.

I was gob smacked when reading your post, you have described my life almost spot on! lol. With the difference that my boyfriend and I share interest in online gaming

He doesn't read particualry much, but he too takes time to listen to what I have to say about a book and discusses it with me. There are alot more to me than books, although reading is a great passion of mine.

So the answer to the original question is: YES, I could date a non-reader...considering I've been in a relationship with one for soon 8 years

But to be honest, I would never, ever date some of the people here based on what they have written in their post/s. I have never read so much prejudice at the same time. We might share a passion for reading, but such a narrow-minded person could never keep the spark or interest.

I don't mean to flame anyone here, this was just my 2 cents.

[blue_doona32]

Of course it would all depend on if he was interested in doing other things... if he didn't read and just sat around doing nothing at all, he'd be kicked out... ha!

It would be hard, though to hold a conversation with someone who doesn't read, but I think there is more things in life than just reading, so it all depends on the person itself

[Wordsgood]

I married one and it's worked out just fine thank you very much! And he reads more now than he ever did. We have a lot in common and he's not shy about letting me talk about what I read and asking questions. He's an intelligent man, but was never really a strong reader as he was put down a lot during school and from his family, so thought he just wasn't smart enough. He knows better now and is always expanding his knowledge base, not just through reading either!

[j2page1]

I've been dating someone for 3 years who isn't an avid reading and I don't think it's taken away from our relationship. Even though he can't always neccessarily relate to what I'm reading int he same way as someone who's sharing the experience, he's always open to listen and sometimes I think he's as ready for me to find out what's happening next as I am. Maybe it helps that we both love online gaming and home theater equipment so even if we don't relate on reading we have other areas of similiar interest but I can't imagine thinking less of him just because he doesn't share all the same exact interests that I do.

[Kathy B]

I married one and it's worked out just fine thank you very much! And he reads more now than he ever did. We have a lot in common and he's not shy about letting me talk about what I read and asking questions. He's an intelligent man, but was never really a strong reader as he was put down a lot during school and from his family, so thought he just wasn't smart enough. He knows better now and is always expanding his knowledge base, not just through reading either!

Wow, words! That describes me and my husband perfectly!

Between me and my husband, I can't stop reading, he can't stop learning about new stuff. Since we've been together he's gone from bagpipes to martial arts to oil painting to mountain climbing to hurdy-gurdy to remote-control planes to real airplanes. And he's learning the piano. I love it.

[Ender]

I think if I'm going to date someone, something as silly as their lack of interest in books isn't going to be enough to call it quits. While it is nice to have that common ground, that is also what good friends are for. To get away from your significant other and have something to talk to someone else about. So, i think i wouldn't mind dating someone who didn't prefer reading. However, reading is another way to get to know someone better. If someone has a book that they swear by, a book that is just the awesomest book in the whole world to them, then I might give it a try, so that I could get to know them a little better. And I hope that whoever I decide to spend the rest of my life with will consider doing the same.

[kajsa]

Like me, my other half is an avid reader, but that has actually caused a few problens down the years. He is what I like to call an intellectual reader - he reads for pleasure, but will only read historical novels or books on philosophy & the like. I hate the books he reads & he hates mine - he's a book snob! He calls the books I read drivel & mindless & tells me I should read books that will enrich me, not books about murder & mayhem. Many an argument has ensued when he has come home with a new book, or presents me with an old book he's read that he thinks I should like, but don't. He just does not seem to understand that there is nothing wrong with getting lost in the newest Kathy Reichs or Jeffery Deaver novel!

[sleepydumpling]

I can totally understand how that would drive you nuts kajsa! Book snobs are one of the banes of my existance. Reading is good for you, and anyone who tells you what you should read is denying you your own taste and choice!

[kardel]

Maybe only a short time thing . Someone who reads is a much better conversationalist and much more enjoyable to be with. I don't want to spend my time listening all the time about their problems / friends /dresses or whatever .

[Wells83]

Maybe only a short time thing . Someone who reads is a much better conversationalist and much more enjoyable to be with. I don't want to spend my time listening all the time about their problems / friends /dresses or whatever .

I don't agree. I've been with my fiance for over four years. He's only read a handful of books for pleasure over the course of our relationship. He enjoys reading, for the most part, but with assigned reading for school and his other passions, reading for fun rarely happens. I don't think any less of him for it, and I don't think our relationship suffers for it at all.

Likewise, I've had a few friends that rarely read, and I feel our conversations were just as meaningful. Obviously I never discuss books with those friends, but just because they don't make reading a priority doesn't mean that our conversations revolve around what's new at the mall!

[blueangel]

nope? hmm... i will not dare to date or engage in a relationship where my partner doesn't even read a book.. it will just not work out. reading is already a part of my life and i want to share the same feeling with the person i am with.