Poem: Words Whispered

This is the place for readers of poetry. Discuss poetry and literary art. You can also discuss music here, including lyrics. Also, you can discuss poets themselves, in addition to poetry.
Post Reply
User avatar
fifthmayfly
Posts: 70
Joined: 28 Dec 2014, 22:55
Favorite Author: Rick Yancey
Favorite Book: The Hot Zone and Divergent Series
Currently Reading: The Wolf Princess
Bookshelf Size: 2
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-fifthmayfly.html
fav_author_id: 3497

Poem: Words Whispered

Post by fifthmayfly »

Words whispered in the dark of night,
Fading and disintegrating in the morning light.

Quilts stolen, yanked back and forth,
Illuminated slightly by the glow of the hearth.

Shifting bodies, dead of night,
Two lovers lost in lands of woeful plight.

Front against back, cold nose on neck,
Idle kisses and lazy pecks.

Leisurely traced designs on his inamorata’s arm,
Slow drawn-out breaths used for words that have a certain charm.

Almost inaudible words, blocked by hair,
Even half asleep, she was sure her ears had not erred.

Clarifications not murmured, although none were needed,
The hint of a smile, his desired had heard and he had succeeded.

Words whispered in the dark of night,
Fading and disintegrating in the morning light.

~~~ I just love to write poems. I'd like some feedback, as I have a Wattpad (P.M. for the link :o) and I get reads, but not so much feedback.
User avatar
Skillian
Posts: 1026
Joined: 16 Nov 2014, 00:52
Bookshelf Size: 102
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-skillian.html
Latest Review: "The Christ Killer" by Robert Attenborough

Post by Skillian »

I like it. Very nice. I giggled at the blocked by hair part. Makes me want to go snuggle up with my hubby.
I love LOVE. <3
Latest Review: "The Christ Killer" by Robert Attenborough
User avatar
roosttylor
Posts: 2
Joined: 28 Mar 2015, 00:16
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by roosttylor »

Do you really want truth or do you want beauty? The terrible thing about searching for the truth is that sometimes you find it.




__________________
ahsan
User avatar
Ichiban_god
Posts: 1
Joined: 19 Apr 2015, 08:27
Bookshelf Size: 0

Post by Ichiban_god »

What inspired u?
User avatar
darlawonders21
Posts: 5
Joined: 13 May 2015, 14:56
Bookshelf Size: 3
Reviewer Page: onlinebookclub.org/reviews/by-darlawonders21.html

Post by darlawonders21 »

This is lovely work! I like the details, but you could go into more solid images to pull the reader in... Like the feeling behind those idle kisses and how desire feels without using the actual word...I love to challenge myself to describe words without using the actual words it's really fun, but it can be difficult...
Post Reply

Return to “Poetry & Music”