Now I lay me (would like comments please negative or postive

[Trinity31]

Now I lay me down to sleep
I feel the rest I cannot speak
For what I want is a real sin
So should my prayers cover it?

To love someone is the end game
Isn’t that why it brings us pain
But if I’m a man and I like men
Then things begin to complicate.

I wrestled with this all my life
And did the things that are normally right.
I took a girl on my first date,
I took her hand and we did kiss,
But deep inside I was ashamed.
For I knew I’d just bring her pain.

In college it got so much worse.
An all male floor,
And I did lust.
But kept emotions deep inside
I did my best and I did hide.
No one knew, did not suspect.
My life of lies, of pain, regret.

Then suddenly my life did change.
He brought me out in many ways,
And though he stayed true to who he was.
I stayed in shadow
Until the close.

But while with him
I never knew.
That rumors spread,
And sadly grew.
The school suspected.
All students knew.
And I was outed.
Put to shame
I sadly had no one to blame.

So when I lay down to sleep tonight
My soul will be lost and never found
For when my head does touch my pillow
I hope it never lifts again

I took the pills, and now I wait.
For I can’t live another day.
What others know was not the problem
The sad truth is I am forgotten.
Forgotten for I don’t know when.
I begin, to lie to live.
With secrets gone I can’t exist.
The lie is me
The truth need not exist.

So know I lay me down to sleep,
Knowing that’s the end for me.
Hoping prayers cover this.
Amen will be the last of me.
By: Trinity

[Fran]

Oh my goodness ... the pain in that poem is so raw it's heartrending. If people who can be so judgemental would just read that poem I think many would reconsider their opinions and the ease with which they blight the lives of innocent people.

[dindindin]

Well done. The poem is very engaging. Once I started reading it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Your response
to being outed, is exactly how I felt when I found out about a betrayal in my own life. Here's the rub: Until now,
I've always considered anything concerning gay life, politics, or social issues to be "gay stuff", and none of my business.
Your poem points out your reaction to a decidely gay issue. The fact that that reaction has currency in my life points
to the need to reexamine my attitudes towards the gay community. I have gay friends, and I always take precautions
not to say or do anything that might offend them. Being that polite certainly doesnt facilitate communication.
You've written a great poem. I hope you have more in the works.

-- 08 Mar 2012, 20:19 --

Well done. The poem is very engaging. Once I started reading it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Your response
to being outed, is exactly how I felt when I found out about a betrayal in my own life. Here's the rub: Until now,
I've always considered anything concerning gay life, politics, or social issues to be "gay stuff", and none of my business.
Your poem points out your reaction to a decidely gay issue. The fact that that reaction has currency in my life points
to the need to reexamine my attitudes towards the gay community. I have gay friends, and I always take precautions
not to say or do anything that might offend them. Being that polite certainly doesnt facilitate communication.
You've written a great poem. I hope you have more in the works.

-- 08 Mar 2012, 20:19 --

Well done. The poem is very engaging. Once I started reading it, I couldn't stop thinking about it. Your response
to being outed, is exactly how I felt when I found out about a betrayal in my own life. Here's the rub: Until now,
I've always considered anything concerning gay life, politics, or social issues to be "gay stuff", and none of my business.
Your poem points out your reaction to a decidely gay issue. The fact that that reaction has currency in my life points
to the need to reexamine my attitudes towards the gay community. I have gay friends, and I always take precautions
not to say or do anything that might offend them. Being that polite certainly doesnt facilitate communication.
You've written a great poem. I hope you have more in the works.

[Maud Fitch]

Very touching, very emotional. It is a bit stilted but you've packed a life into a short space. It appears to be a young person and if we met, I'd say don't give up. And the same goes for your poetry, keep writing!

[Bighuey]

That is a great poem. It really packs a punch. Too bad people are so judgemental. I used to be when I was younger, but as Ive gotten older I feel as long as you are not hurting any one else or yourself, a person should be able to live the way they want to. Dont worry about what other people think. When someone puts you down for your lifestyle, just keep thinking that you are a little better than they are because you dont have that narrow-minded idiotic attitude they have. When I hear someone run down a person because of their race or lifestyle, it makes me think what stupid jerks they are.

[Trinity31]

Wow thanks guys for all the positive reviews and I'm glad you guys appreciated the message in it to. I wrote this a few years back when I heard about a boy who had been videotaped having relations with another guy at college, and had commited suicide because of it the story impacted me so much that I wrote the poem. I will be posting more and would like your reviews on those to good or bad I like to know what people think.

[bookgator]

Then suddenly my life did change.
He brought me out in many ways,
And though he stayed true to who he was.
I stayed in shadow
Until the close.

Wow. The poem is very moving. You know that feeling when you were able to relate to stuff you read and it suddenly feels like you're the one who wrote it? That's exactly what I'm feeling right now.

I can't say any negative in here and I think you nailed it.

[aymanbinmoshi]

Matches the reality. Is it you?

[Trinity31]

No there was a boy in the news who had killed himself because his roommate had video taped him with another guy and had shown it all over there college I was so touched by the story I wrote the poem.

[rani16]

positive,,,, well written...keep it up

[VampirePoe]

I like what you've done with it, and the content is great, but your meter is way off. It would be a much better read if you fixed it. I'm sorry if I am the only one who gave you any constructive feedback, but I seriously thought that is what you were asking for, rather than the typical pat on the back and well done.