Change of Direction

Use this forum to post poetry that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links. Only one poem per topic please.
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Sean Bracken
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Change of Direction

Post by Sean Bracken »

Change of Direction
Sean Bracken

She swooped down the mountain
using strange people to change her direction
soaring and sliding in space and time
using strange people as a random deflection

Leaping over ditches and crossing rough waters
she's using strange people but paying no attention
to friends long forgotten and left in the wake
of a life full of madness and driving compulsion .

Mother to strangers who get in the way
of her once great delusion now slipping away
No focus, no reason and never content
Craving and yearning, her mind in torment

Slipping and falling into the abyss
of a soul with no reason, no hope of salvation
using good people to slow the descent into safe isolation
she holds onto good people for cold consolation

Spinning and skipping with utter abandon
she's using a friend to find her solution
A friend she found hiding deep down in a bottle
has smothered the need for love and attention

Alone by herself with all that she wants
no need for strange people or change of direction
Life in the bottle kills much more than thirst
it kills all the feelings that cause so much hurt
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

Very nicely done Sean! I particularly liked the cadence which was suggestive of the march into the abyss described in the story of the poem.

Your poetic talents appear to rival the talent displayed in your short story contributions .*L*

Thanks for sharing !
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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Sean Bracken
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Post by Sean Bracken »

Thank's DATo, It's my first attempt at poetry. It needs some more work but I'm happy with the "Direction" it's going in.
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Yvonne Marie
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Post by Yvonne Marie »

Wow! That was awesome!
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Sean Bracken
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Post by Sean Bracken »

Thank you so much, Yvonne. I'm glad that you like my attempt at poetry. I found it much harder to express emotions in verse than I do in prose. Maybe I'll make another attempt soon.

Sean
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Max Oberon
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Post by Max Oberon »

Great poem Sean, powerful and engaging. Sad that so many have 'friends in a bottle' or, as The Beatles sang 'Mothers little helpers' Well done.

Best wishes, Max
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Auntie shush
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Post by Auntie shush »

That's your first attempt, wow, it's fantastic.
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Insightsintobooks
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Post by Insightsintobooks »

Wow, this is a really thought provoking poem. Good job
Latest Review: "Gates to Tangier" by Mois Benarroch
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