Running

Use this forum to post short stories that you have written. This is for getting comments and constructive feedback. This is for original, creative works. You must post the actual text, no links.
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poppletron
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Running

Post by poppletron »

Running, running away. Running from a fate unknown. The fear growing further as I go. With each stride my heart pounds louder and louder every foot fall being drowned out by the beat. With everything around me a blur I dare not look back. It seems like hours even days, but I must continue onwards if I want to live. I stop nearly collapsing just to catch my breath. As I look around me I see to my dismay that nothing has changed. I know these woods by heart, I should have made it out by now the exit was nearly at my fingertips. I must get out before it finds me, before it gets me. As I continue forward each step brings me two strides back. The exit just always out of reach. It's toying with me, like a cat with a mouse. Perhaps I already dead and this is my punishment, but I can't take that chance until I know for sure. I don't dare turn back and lose the progress I have achieved or lack of. This is a battle I can not win, it is just mocking me. Making my last moments of life with all hope taken away. I want to give up but my body doesn't want me choose this fate, but I just want it to be over for the torture to stop. "Just come and get me why don't you?" I ask in a desperate breath. I stop for the last time at the sound of rustling. I except my death arms open as it had intend, with my will broken I stand there as it creeps forward waiting for my end. "Just finish it already!"I shout,"just let it be over." Why, just why can't it be over, haven't I suffered enough? Just give me my an escape from this nightmare.
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DATo
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Post by DATo »

This is a nice bit of flash fiction. I think any reader can relate to some experience in their lives when a goal was in view and yet the outcome was in doubt, the feeling that one simply wants the event to be over. This can range from an SAT test to a bout with a potentially terminal disease.

I would change the third sentence to: My fear compounding with every stride.

Well done. I enjoyed reading it.
“I just got out of the hospital. I was in a speed reading accident. I hit a book mark and flew across the room.”
― Steven Wright
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