Being fearless versus learning to control your fears?

Discuss the June 2014 book of the month Divergent by Veronica Roth. While only Divergent--the first book of the series--is the book of the month, feel free to use this subforum to discuss the rest of the series or to talk about the movies, but make sure not to post spoilers unless noted in the topic title.
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soccerstar95
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Re: Being fearless versus learning to control your fears?

Post by soccerstar95 »

Nobody can be completely fearless but it is entirely possible to control your fears instead of letting them control you. Tris is saying that being brave is the ability to control your fear and to not let it get the better of you, like it does for others who are not as good at controlling their fears.


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Post by Bigmama1 »

There is a response in the body called the fight or flight response. Everyone has this to a certain extent--some more than others. It is not voluntary. It is the body's way of protecting itself. It is what the body uses as a warning system when something is wrong. Different people fear different things. People deal with fear differently. Some let it cripple them while other thrive in it. Another point that is important is that most fears are learned. Take babies for example, they are fairly fearless. Most toddlers are not afraid of bugs until they learn that behavior from a parent or other person.

Half of bravery is perspective! Wow! What a powerful concept. The same could be said of fear or the lack of.

In Tris' life and situation it was a matter of overcoming fear as to not let it rule her or dictate how she lived her life. It was what she did with the fear that was important.
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Post by needtoread »

Fearless is a misused word for some people. To be fearless it means you fear nothing. Fear is normal and helps us make better decisions. To control one's fear is important because it will help us remain calm and alert in an otherwise irrational situation. To confuse the two might lead someone down a path of no return.

-- 25 Jun 2014, 21:52 --

Fearless is a misused word for some people. To be fearless it means you fear nothing. Fear is normal and helps us make better decisions. To control one's fear is important because it will help us remain calm and alert in an otherwise irrational situation. To confuse the two might lead someone down a path of no return. Controlling your fears means putting it in a new perspective so that it doesn't control you. You may still be wary of something, and usually for a good reason, but you will find a way to work around that discomfort.
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Post by Darling_Reads »

I don't think that anyone can be truly fearless. I think everybody has a small fear of something hidden in their mind, even if they don't want to admit it. Part of working towards overcoming your fears is mentally being brave. If you can mentally get past the fear and submit yourself to it you are winning the battle. Tris tells herself to calm down when she is in her fear landscape. This is really works in real life. When I had to have a c-section I was really afraid to go through surgery while I was awake. My internal dialogue was to relax and that it would be over soon. It was so much better telling myself I would be okay than if I had just been freaked out and told myself it was horrible.
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Post by Heather »

I've always agreed that being brave doesn't mean you don't have fears. Being brave means you go on despite them. Which pretty much is what controlling your fears is. You control the fear, you don't let it control you. If you are fearless you aren't brave. You can't be brave if nothing scares you. And no, I don't think anyone can be fearless. There's something that gets everyone.
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Post by winsomefish »

Being "fearless" means being ignorant to the fact that there are things you fear. It nurtures recklessness and is not really an admirable way to live life. It will probably get you hurt or killed at some point. Being able to control or conquer your fears, and act in a way that is honorable despite them, is courageous, which is by far more admirable than acting without caution and closing your eyes to what you fear; doing this is, in effect, the same thing as avoiding action due to your fears--you still aren't acknowledging them, or working through them. Pretty unhealthy.
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Post by allesha »

hnardi8 wrote:I've always agreed that being brave doesn't mean you don't have fears. Being brave means you go on despite them. Which pretty much is what controlling your fears is. You control the fear, you don't let it control you. If you are fearless you aren't brave. You can't be brave if nothing scares you. And no, I don't think anyone can be fearless. There's something that gets everyone.
I so agree with you!
Except, I think it might be possible to be fearless but I think the only way is if they truly don't care about anyone, including them self. If you care about someone, you will always have a fear that something will happen to them!
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Post by Apogea »

To be truly fearless I believe is not possible, but there is a way around it, overcoming and controlling your fears.
Perspective for bravery, this I interpreted as things being dangerous/fear-worthy because you cannot see the complete picture.
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Post by sflaherty42 »

Being fearless is the absence of fear. If someone is fearless, then they don't really have anything to overcome. Controlling fears is having fears but being able to overcome them. The latter is the more difficult. Fear makes people stronger and more human. It is a basic human emotion and it takes a great deal of strength to get through it. If it were possible to be completely fearless, life would be easy.
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Post by SidnayC »

I think that fearless relates someone who genuinely does not fear something while learning to control your fears means that the fear is within you however you learn to not make it an option in your life. E.g. you may see a spider which your natural instincts are telling you to run from, but you choose to overcome that instinct and push forward to remove the spider from your home.
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Post by toshilou »

I think a person is stronger if they can control their fears rather than be fearless. Being able to control it is facing your greatest fears no matter what and a person who is fearless never has to worry about that.
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Post by alex_ »

I think anyone is fearless, everyone has fears. Which means it is possible to control your fears, because you can learn that whatever it is you fear is preventable or impossible. Thinking about how this fear can affect you is the first step to controlling your fears,
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Post by Katherine E Wall »

I don't think anyone can be truly fearless. Yes, there is confidence, which can help someone face challenges, but fear is not only a normal but a useful response to danger. Courage, the more admirable trait than fearless, requires someone to face their fears, control their fears, and make decisions which will benefit themselves and others despite those fears.

Someone who is truly fearless could actually act foolishly in the face of danger.
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Post by tracy19 »

I don't think a person can be truly fearless, but you can control your fears by learning to live with them and giving the outward appearance that you are not afraid.
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Post by chanelpo »

I believe "being fearless" can result in recklessness. Controlling your fears results in control over your life and not being held back by anything or anyone, especially oneself.
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