Being fearless versus learning to control your fears?

Discuss the June 2014 book of the month Divergent by Veronica Roth. While only Divergent--the first book of the series--is the book of the month, feel free to use this subforum to discuss the rest of the series or to talk about the movies, but make sure not to post spoilers unless noted in the topic title.
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colemaba
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Re: Being fearless versus learning to control your fears?

Post by colemaba »

I don't think its possible to be completely fearless. To be fearless is to not be human. I think that we can try to control our fears the best we can and be brave while doing it, but to be fearless is not possible.
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Post by brooklynegan »

I think Tris means that half of bravery is the way you look at things. Also I don't think there is a such thing as being fearless, whether it be fear of public speaking or fear of heights you're always going to be fearful of something.
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Post by gervaisk »

I think in order for you to be able to face your fears you need to be fearless. It isn't enough to be brave. You need to give it your all and that requires to at least attempt to be fearless. I think being fearless is something you must learn. It takes times and experience to be truly fearless.
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Post by SharisseEM »

I don't think anyone can be truly fearless. Fear is what makes us human. And I would rather learn to control my fears than be fearless because by overcoming my fears, I grow as a person. That, and the adrenaline rush when I face my fears and overcome them is incomparable. Also, we are called courageous when we stand up in the face of fear.
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Post by melbuhtoast »

I don't think that it is possible to be truly fearless. I think there are those who are able to overcome their fears and take action anyway, thereby controlling their reaction to fears, and those who let their fears overcome them. Of course there are grey areas in between depending on the situation.

Having fears doesn't necessarily mean that you are weak. It means that you fully grasp a situation and understand what is at stake. It's whether you choose to move past your fear, rather than being paralyzed by it that makes a big difference. That's what I believe Tris means by bravery being half perspective.
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Post by Jesska6029 »

I do not think being fearless is actually a good thing. I think fear keeps us safe, and it makes it so we do not take ridiculous risks. I believe controlling fear is better. It definitely makes a person stronger, but the presence of the fear would still make a person aware that he or she is not invincible.
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Post by csimmons032 »

I don't think it is possible to be completely fearless. Everyone has some type of a fear, no matter how bad the fear is. I think there is a way to conquer certain fears. For example, being afraid of the dark or needles. I think being fearless has more to do with being confident. If You are confident about yourself and any challenges that come your way, then it can be easy to ignore those fears and do what needs to be done. However, I believe that it is possible to be over confident. If you are constantly acting without thinking, then it is possible to get caught up in bad situations. No one should put their life in danger just because they are trying to probe how tough they are. In Tris Prior's situation. She did what she did to protect herself. She made brave choices in order to keep her identity a secret. In the other books though, she makes some choices that would definitely be considered questionable. Anyone can be considered fearless if they are confident enough, it's just a matter of how we react to our fears. Do we run away screaming or do stand up to our fears even though they scare us?
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Post by glassfable5 »

I don't think that any human can actually be one hundred percent fearless. However, every human can learn to control their fears, through lots of practice and even therapy. It's a mind game really. Which brings me to what Tris said, that its a matter of perspective. If you can train your mind to see your fear from another perspective, such as with spiders lets say, then you can force your mind to think rationally and clearly in the face of that fear. I'm terrified of spiders. I can barely be in the same room with them once I spot them. But if I flip my perspective so that I'm looking through the many eyes of a spider (ew), I think I can relate. My initial terror is probably magnified by 100--which would be what the spider is probably feeling. It's tiny in comparison to me. I'm like this giant thing that could squash it and end its tiny life at any given moment. Now that's terrifying.
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Post by kalynn briles-moore »

I think it depends in a pressure situation where being fearless would drag u down u should control them b/c fearless is close to selfless but also really close to arrogant or showing off honestly it is the situation that matters there is a time and place for everything
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Post by gatorgirl_823 »

I don't know that anyone can be truly fearless. There are so many things that people fear - death, sickness, darkness and even spiders, to name a few. If you think someone is fearless, it is more likely that the person is very good at controlling their fears instead of having none. Mastering fears and rising above them is more ideal than attempting to fear nothing.
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Post by steinhm »

I think being fearless entirely is almost impossible. However, learning to control your fears not so much. In my opinion, fearless means you do not have fears, you don't feel the fear, you don't think of the fear, and you don't let the fear control you. However, learning to control your fears means you still have those fears, they're still there, you still have them and still think of them, but you can still face them and function with them.

Controlling your fears takes considerable effort, skill, maturity and bravery, but being entirely fearless is almost impossible for a human.

With that being said, sometimes controlling your fears can be much better because being fearless, or being afraid of nothing, can lead to silly mistakes that fear may have made you think twice about.
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Post by spablo_94 »

Being fearless is when you are not scared of anything or anyone, while learning to control your fears is when you find ways to manage all things that scare you.

I don't believe that anyone can be truly fearless. Each one of us has something to be scared of. As they say, no one is perfect.

I think what Tris meant when she said that "half of bravery is perspective", is that someone is brave not because he or she is fearless but that person has the ability to rationalize his or her fears and find ways to control it.
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Post by Momlovesbooks »

I don't think anyone can be totally fearless. It's part of our human nature. Controlling fear comes with maturity and life experience. I believe that learning to control your fear is actually what most people refer to as bravery.
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Post by Rachaelamb1 »

anomalocaris wrote:I think anyone who is truly fearless is just plain stupid. There are plenty of things that SHOULD be feared, and fear is a natural alarm system that lets us know when to be prepared to take action, and actual makes physical changes in the body to prepare us to take that action. Courage has nothing to do with not experiencing fear. It's about what you do with the fear.
Well put. Without fear there would be no such thing as courage.
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Post by avid reader28 »

I believe that no one could be completely fearless, some people seam like that to others because they simply have to feel that they 're in control of what's happening because deep down they think that they're easy to crash, to break down.
The best way to keep a sense of balance in our life is to control our fear, by understanding them, by getting them out there and understand in a logical way how exactly do they affect our daily behavior.
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