Appropriate subject for children's book

[Bob Richley]

Is death an appropriate subject for a children's book? There have been books written for children on this subject including Leo Buscaglia's "The Fall of Freddie the Leaf." One of the benefits of reading to children is that stories can help them through stressful situations. For example, going to school for the first time is stressful for a child, so reading a book about going to school would help the child. Death is one of life's greatest stresses. Would a book about death be helpful? Would you buy such a book? If you were to write one, what would be your approach?

[gali]

I have read several kids books on the subject, so yes. It depends on the age of the kid, and on how the subject is portrayed. I would read such a book first to decide if it appropriates for my kid.

[Rebeccaej]

Oh hell yes! I am 100% on board with children's books about death.

Kids need to learn about death when they're young enough to find comfort sitting in their parents lap. It is not fair to children or young adults to send them out into the world unprepared for the basic realities of life. Give them a chance to start grappling with it in a safe, supportive environment so they have a basic level of understanding BEFORE somebody they love dies in real life.

edit: oh hey, that ended with a question about how I would write it. I don't really write children's books, but I think the important parts would be to show realistic grief and then showing family and friends providing real comfort. For a very young audience, something like little Johnny being angry at his grandma for "leaving," walking by the house and thinking she MUST be in there, and hurting again when she remembers she isn't, and then talking to his mom and her saying that she misses her too, and them just...sitting together with that and finding ways to remember her together.

I think I'd also include somebody saying something that's meant to be supportive and isn't, like "God needed another angel," and somehow including the message that that's a hurtful thing to say, but probably the person saying it is confused and hurting also, and doesn't know how to handle it.

I think I'd probably end by skipping forward in time to a point where grief is starting to abate, and touching on the question of, "I still miss her, and it still hurts sometimes, but I'm feeling better, too. I can remember good times now and be happy that I got a chance to know them." Or maybe leave it a little more open-ended, so it doesn't dictate how you're "supposed" to heal.

That all feels really simplistic, but I'm assuming a "baby's first introduction to death," book aimed at 5-year-olds. Basically, I think the most important part is to provide a realistic walk-through of what grief is actually like.

Huh, to that end, it would probably be best to start before the dying character is sick/approaching death, so that the kid gets a chance to bond with them a little.

[bruin]

I think death is an appropriate subject for a children's book. I agree that reading about a topic can help rid of any stress that children may have. It is definitely an approach used in our house to help our kids get through and prepare for life events.

I would think about how I would want to introduce death and to what age group. For ages 4-6, a picture book with animals to explain what happens when a pet dies and to the people who are grieving. For ages 7-9, I would write about people experiencing death in the family with details about what happens and the emotions involved.

These books would be used to answer any questions children have about death and to explain it in ways that they can understand and relate to.

[Amagine]

Yes, I absolutely believe that death is an appropriate subject for children. I don't believe in constantly shielding children from reality. I believe in introducing them to different things that happen in life. Unfortunately, death happens and children need to learn about it and learn ways to deal with it.

In a book, I would write about a pet dying or something along those lines. I don't want it to be too heavy if this is the child's first time thinking about death.

[Mr Benji]

I think the subject is beyond their understanding.But if it must be presented then care should be taken so as not to damage the child's psychology or personality .
Yours sincerely,
Bok48.

[DancingLady]

I think it’s appropriate to include it in a children’s book, but not as the main subject or focus. As an adult, I would probably not be interested in a book about death myself, or if I started one that turned out to be about it, would be strongly tempted to put it aside unfinished unless there was significantly more to the story line.

As a Christian, I understand that death is a consequence of sin, and sin is anything that is contrary to the nature of God. Focusing on death and all the things that go with it is the opposite of our calling, which is “Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.” Phillipians 4:8

With that in mind, for me, it is appropriate to write a story for children, or any age, that includes death, as it is part of this fallen world, but the ultimate focus needs to be on good things, like the hope we have in Jesus, the love we give to to the hurting or receive when we are hurting.

[authorswrite]

Death is done in picture books. But done differently than in other stories. Maybe you have a story about a momma bird that dies, and the baby has to survive and learn by herself. The readers can then see it through the bird's eyes. Stories like that are well-received.

[Libs_Books]

I think that children's books that touch on death and dying can be really helpful. After all, children are going to meet death, often of close and significant family members. Some children may have to deal with the death of a sibling, or their own terminal illness - that may be quite a niche market, but there is a place for sensitive work in this area.

[Polgesteirg]

It is more than appropriate for children. It is imperative that children know that the world isn't a fairytale so they can be better prepared to deal with it. It's good for both them and society. Children and teenagers these days are being raised to believe that they shouldn't have to confront anything that triggers them because their feelings are above all. Clearly, that's not true at all, and the real world will not give them safe spaces.

[Amandajk]

I'm currently working on a MG that includes a parent's death. It started out as a chapter book, but morphed to MG because I felt it was too heavy for a chapter book.

[Kim Ann]

An angle I would work with would be one of mediphores. I realized as a kid that certain points or phases an author made stuck in the back of my mind. Once I found myself relating to a character or object used in the mediphore, I as a kid would connect the dots and would think, “Well, I can get through this just like this person/thing in the book.” I have used Dr. Seuss wacky words of wisdom many of times throughout my childhood. RIP to our fallen leave Suess!

[kegoffeney]

Short answer: Yes.

Long answer: Kids understand way more than we adults give them credit for, and the truly great programs and books for kids understand this (think of how many "hard" topics the show "Mister Roger's Neighborhood" dealt with). The trick is to tailor the topic to the age group. Don't "dumb it down," but do frame it in an age appropriate way. But most of all, don't shy away from being honest about even the hardest of topics. Kids can usually tell when you're feeding them a line and, like most adults, appreciate an honest explanation way more than a light and fluffy one.

[wilykit104]

As a mother of a five year old, death is a subject that comes up a lot in our house! My gran died when she was three and the questions and worries have not stopped since. In some ways I think a book about death might be useful, but it would have to be the right book. Death is such a sensitive subject with so many different views and beliefs surrounding it, the right book for some might be completely the wrong book for others.

Personally I feel that a strong emphasis on the person's life, the people they affected, and how we will remember them is more important and useful than a "where do we go when we die" approach.

[lbhatters]

Death is done in picture books. But done differently than in other stories. Maybe you have a story about a momma bird that dies, and the baby has to survive and learn by herself. The readers can then see it through the bird's eyes. Stories like that are well-received.

I remember seeing a dead cat on the side of the road when I was about 6 or 7 and was my first encounter with death. I wonder if I had been exposed to it in a book if I would have received it better. I just remember going home, lying on my bed and feeling depressed.

I think a good book that introduced the topic might have been helpful at that time