Writing Dialouge

[donaldzlotnik]

My first attempt was a disaster.
I tried using the old method of using; “He said…” and “She replied…” and it was liked driving a car with one’s foot on the brake and accelerator, letting up on one and pushing down on the other and then quickly slamming down on the other pedal. The jerky style quickly consumed the storyline.
I developed my own style (Of which many had discovered before me.) of writing dialogue and obeying the only rule that is important; keeping the reader aware of exactly who is talking.
I tie dialogue to action.
EXAMPLE: “Go West and do not look back!” Krill drew his sword and reigned his horse around to face the challenge he knew was coming down the valley.
By tying in action with dialogue it allows you to define your characters/location/time/dress/etc throughout your complete novel by their actions without spending very boring pages describing them.
Simple—and it allows you to stay in character!

[moderntimes]

That's a good idea. By tying the actor with the dialogue, it minimizes the "she said" "he said".

If only two people are talking, you don't have to put the "said" in much, as the dialogue goes back and forth. If you've got several, it can be tricky. Here's how I handled multiple dialogue among 6 people at a meeting in my recent private eye novel. Narrator is Mitch King, PI. With Mitch are 5 cops -- David Meierhoff, Mitch's pal, Joe Duggan, David's boss in homicide, Juanita Hertza of the Hispanic gang task force, Texas Ranger Arvis Danforth, and FBI Ed Scudder. A cop was killed during a traffic stop when the cop intervened with someone following Mitch. The serial killer "Slicer" is a suspect in this killing. Some of the adult language is redacted:

======

First thing I saw when entering the conference room was boots, a pair of hand-tooled beauties decorated with an Alamo theme and propped on the table. The boots were worn by Texas Ranger Arvis Danforth.

He’s about six-two, slender and athletic, salt-and-pepper hair cut just long enough to offer a Western take without being gaudy. Danforth is a handsome man with the weathered appearance of someone as used to the saddle as his Ranger issue SUV. His attire was completed by light brown slacks with a law enforcement-style stripe down the leg, a white Western dress shirt, bolo tie, a silver Lone Star badge on his belt and a fine leather holster that matched the boots. In the holster a big 1911 .45 pistol, Kimber I thought.

Ranger Danforth was sitting next to a man who appeared his polar opposite. He’s FBI Special Agent Ed Scudder, an older guy, unkempt grey hair, well-used overcoat, rumpled appearance. Agent Danforth bears a striking resemblance to actor William B. Davis, the subversive Cigarette Smoking Man from X-Files. And the fact that Danforth is a chain smoker doesn’t help dispel the image. He once told us that he would often get stopped by people in airports, asking for his autograph. “What do you do?” I asked. He smiled, shrugged. “I just sign Bill Davis and thank them.”

To Danforth’s right was Detective Juanita Hertza, head of the HPD Hispanic gang unit. I’d never actually met her, just knew her by sight. I figured she was here to gig me on being pals with Julio Cardozo, pick up on the mantra where Joe Duggan left off. Hertza is late forties, a heavyset Latina, face worn and tired, lined with worries concomitant with her difficult job. She looked unhappy and I guessed I was the cause.

The three cops were glancing through copies of the Slicer file, discussing entries, speaking to one another when we came in. We shook hands all round, sat.

Meierhoff took the lead. “You all know about yesterday, the ambush of Officer Deely.” David quickly outlined the thread of events to ensure that everyone was up to date. “Now,” he said. “I want to focus on exactly what happened with the Impala. Mitch will fill us in from his perspective.”

So I repeated what I’d told David, how I spotted the tail a block away from the Cardozo place. That I phoned him and set up an intercept. The intercept that led to murder.

“Was the tail a close one or did he sit back?” Scudder asked. “Pro job, amateur?”

“Made no attempt to drop away, put cars between us, otherwise conceal, like it didn’t matter. But he did keep far enough back that I couldn’t tell who was in the car, even how many there were.” I shrugged. “So it may have been an amateur or a pro who simply didn’t give a damn, either way.”

“And you figure he knew it was you?” Danforth asked.

“Probably. Why else would he pick me to follow? There are people in and out of the warehouse all the time. But soon as I pulled out, he was behind me.”

Detective Hertza had been frowning while I talked and now she opened a folder before her, swung it around for me to see. Photo of Cardozo, shot from a telephoto lens as he was getting into a car. He was younger, the picture from years back. Hertza poked at the image, glared at me. “You know who this is, right?”

“Yes, of course. Julio Cardozo. He’s the legal guardian of my client, Cheryl Stern.”

Her gaze was dark. “And you know he’s a gang leader and overall thug?”

I sighed. Here we go again. “Yes,” I replied. “I’m a private investigator. We often have clients who are on the other side of the law. Like attorneys do.”

“Nothing like attorneys,” she snuffed. “I’d like to know exactly what you were—”

“Juanita,” Joe Duggan surprised me by interrupting. “Me and David already talked this into the ground with Mitch. He was straight with us and I’ll vouch for him. Julie Cards is not involved and I think we oughta focus on the murder, if we can.”

Hertza wasn’t deterred. “I think it’s relevant and I think that Mister King here knows more than he’s letting on.” She ponked her stubby finger at the photo of Cardozo, glowered. “How are you involved with Julie Cards’ criminal enterprise? Are you getting kickbacks for feeding him confidential information? Information such as what might be discussed here?”

With that, she hit the nail on the head. Exactly what Cardozo had asked me to do. And I had no real comeback except to lie again, lie to a group of experienced police professionals. Keen on succeeding with that tactic.

But within seconds, my salvation came and I was rescued by an intrepid Texas Ranger. “Ma’am?” Danforth leaned forward, a placating look on his slender face.

“Don’t call me ma’am, Ranger Danforth. You’re older than me!”

“My apologies, Detective.” He turned on his best smile. “I realize you’ve got plenty of issues here and want to explore them. But maybe it’s be better you take them offline, chat with Mitch later, ’cause we need to focus on the shooting right now.”

There was momentary silence. Hertza squinted at Danforth, Duggan and me in turn, harrumphed to indicate her displeasure. “Okay. For now, okay. But I’m not through with King here. Not if half the LEOs in Texas try to stop me. Not by a goddamn Oklahoma mile!”

Duggan sucked in his breath, let the tension dissipate a bit, glanced around the table, eyebrows raised inquisitively. “Any further comments?”

Meierhoff looked at me. “Mitch, think back carefully, because this is important. Are you absolutely certain he didn’t follow you to the warehouse first? That you might’ve been tailed from your house?”

I thought about this. “Good point. How would he know I was going to see Ms. Stern otherwise? He’d have no clue. She called me and I drove right over, never planned it or told anyone.” I was lying about the visit, but hey, didn’t everyone massage the truth, especially when talking to cops?

“Ya see?” Joe said. “No way the tail’s gonna just sit at the warehouse, hoping you’ll stop by.”

“But you didn’t see the Impala until after you left the warehouse, right?” Danforth scribbled in his notebook as he talked.

“Sorry, guys.” I shook my head. “I really can’t say. I was preoccupied, thinking about what my client wanted. I might have been tailed on the way over, yeah.”

We talked a while longer but nothing was resolved. Duggan stood up, signaling that the meet was concluded. “Okay, Mitch, I think we’re done for now, unless anybody can think of anything.”

And predictably, Detective Hertza had her say. She shook the folder and gave me a tweaky smile. “Mr. King, I want you in my office immediately. It’s five-oh-seven, one floor up. We’ve still got things to talk about.”

I smiled sheepishly. I was stuck and would likely be grilled forever if she wanted to string things out. There went my afternoon. “Do I need to consult my attorney?”

Hertza frowned. “Not unless you plan on confessing your involvement with the Fifth Ward Apaches.”

I sighed inwardly. More bull, more denials. And more headaches. Hertza left the room, striding quickly away, but not without staring at me again, pointing upward to her office.

Everyone else was gathering notes, downing the final dregs of coffee, shuffling around the room. Ranger Danforth reached over to an adjacent shelf and retrieved his spotless and perfectly blocked white hat. It was of course Western style, but not the deep-range cowboy cut, more of the wealthy cattleman style. On anybody else it would look foolish. On Danforth, it was perfect.

Joe tugged my sleeve. “We’ll be waiting for lab work on the Impala, keep searching for leads. Give me or David a call if something comes up. In the meantime, Mitch, stay safe from this trophy-hunting jerk.”

“Trophy?” I asked. That word again, and thinking of the Martinez murder made me shudder.

Meierhoff grimaced. “Yeah. Stole the cop’s badge after he shot him.”

“You mean…” I said.

Duggan finished my thought. “Poor guy layin’ on the ground, bleeding out, and the killer gets outta his car and rips off the badge. Uniform torn, the stickpins busted, not part of the gunshots. So we know he took it.”

“Any idea why?” I asked.

“Nope,” Meierhoff said. “Trophy is all we can figure. And don’t tell this to anybody. We’re keeping that point confidential.”

I got ready to trudge up to five, nothing to add to this meeting that made sense.

Then Agent Scudder glanced at me. “Regarding the guy picking you to tail, what’s the chance there’s a bug on your car?”

“A bug? Tracer? I never considered…”

“Damn! Hang on,” Duggan said, picking up the desk phone on the conference table, punching a number. “This is Captain Duggan. Yeah, Homicide. Is Bobby Pinter there? Yeah, I’ll hold…” Duggan looked at us. “CSI’s down on three, Pinter’s their best bug planter and finder.”

I shrugged. “Never crossed my mind.”

“Jeez, Mitch,” Meierhoff griped. “You’re the damn private eye. Stuff like that should be second nature to your business.”

“Don’t use ’em much, too many lawsuits. Besides, any evidence I obtain using a car tracker is likely inadmissible in civil court, my case blown before I even—”

Duggan waved me to silence. “Bobby? Joe Duggan here. Yeah, I’m fine… Look, you got a few minutes? Yeah. Bring your car bug detector thingie, all your gear, come up to the Homicide conference room, you know where it is… Yeah… There’s a car in the…” Duggan looked at me, I pointed west. “…the parking garage, we want you to give it a quick scan. Naw, no warrant, don’t need it. Owner’s here, gives permission. Sure, see you in a couple.”

----

You see that I vary the words and that some speakers don't use perfect English. Some use short sentences and some longer, word choice is different for each speaker. This is a way to help make the dialogue sound realistic.

Comments appreciated.

-- 20 Nov 2015, 08:06 --

A couple of tips about dialogue... And I firmly believe that dialogue is the heartbeat, the lifeblood of a modern novel.

When I first started my mystery novels, I had my characters behave like marionettes on strings, forcing to say things, putting words in their mouths. And the result was predictable wooden, just like a puppet. Then I learned to do this: I'd simply put my character into a situation or scene, then sit back and "take dictation" as to what the character said and did.

Of course it's all in the mind, but the trick worked, because I was creating a "real" person who acted independently from my pulling strings. That separation of individual characters in the mind did the job, and my dialogues were much more realistic.

Another thing: Some time ago I reviewed a book and although the story was fine, the dialogue was terrible. One character would start to speak, and give long, complex sentences, no interruptions, no pauses, for almost a full page. It was as if the character were reading a prepared speech. Then that character would be silent and the next character would speak in exactly the same sentence structure and word choice for another page of uninterrupted speech making. The author was lecturing to the reader via the characters and it was boring and lifeless.

That's now how real people speak. Look at my example above. The characters use short sentences, interrupt each other, and they also use different speech patterns and word choice. I tried hard in this section to simulate a real meeting.

One more caution for those writing fantasy. For some reason, fantasy writers (the less cognizant ones) have their characters making speeches. Now you can have a noble knight or a warrior or a prince or princess or whatever. But in "real life" these people would never preach or make speeches (unless of course they were actually making a speech to assembled listeners). Far too often, characters in fantasy, particularly the pseudo-medieval stories, have "noble" people speechifying all the time. When in fact, these people are NOT a "noble knight" or "valiant warrior". They are instead real human people with emotions and feelings and various drives and energies, who "just happen" to be a knight or princess or whatever.

Try to see your characters as real, 3-dimensional people. Then "listen" to what they are saying, and write it down and that's their dialogue.

-- 20 Nov 2015, 08:10 --

For some reason I can't edit the text above and a typo should be "That's not how real people speak."

[pauljeday]

Not as easy as it seems. I observe real conversations and then try to keep the reader in mind when I write the dialogue. In the back of my mind is the question, does this sound like something this character would actually say? As far as "He said" "she said" is concerned, I have a problem with using standard pronouns too much. I prefer to just write the dialogue and only write who is peaking if it isn't obvious.

[moderntimes]

Agree about minimizing the "he said" thing.

If only 2 people are in the scene, I'll go back and forth maybe 3 times before I insert "Joe said" or whatever. But there are other ways to indicate who's speaking, just by what they're saying. Let me offer this scene from my 3rd novel, soon to be published. My protagonist private eye Mitch King and his pal Tony Vee, a huge "enforcer" type, are relaxing on the front porch of a rustic tavern after a goofy game of indoor "golf" -- some strong words are redacted -- and here's how I deal with a conversation between 2 people. Note how few times I use the "he said" thing -- feedback appreciated ---

-----

It was a little after ten and the weather had chilled to about eighty. Tony and I sat on an old fashioned wooden swing on the front porch of The Ship. We were side by side but had placed ourselves as far apart as possible, like a teenage couple being surveilled by the girl’s father just inside the house, peering out the front widow.

Tony and I both laid off the beer, he drinking Ozarka spring water, myself a Coke. “Fun game tonight,” I said.

“Least nobody got killed.”

“There is that.”

We lazily swung back and forth, more from random body movement than deliberate intent. A local rock band had started their gig in the barn area behind us and we could hear the bass rhythm. We earlier watched them set up and they looked about twelve years old. Like most clubs, patrons at The Ship become younger as the evening proceeds, the 30ish golf crazies gradually replaced by kids whom I knew had been carefully ID’d as at least twenty-one but didn’t seem much older than the band.

“Wanna go back and listen?” Tony asked.

“Naw.”

“Mind if I smoke?”

“Naw.”

Tony retrieved a leather case from his jacket, took out a small cigar, considered it a while, put it back. “Too much work.”

“Golf wears you out.”

“A considerable challenge,” Tony remarked. “The course at The Ship, not quite Pebble Beach, though.”

Tony and I sat quietly a while, then he said, “Street talk is you’ve been hangin’ with the Perdon cousins, Ricardo and Angel.” He pronounced the name correctly, Anhel.

“Christ. I went through this crud with Meierhoff. Now you?”

“Perdons work for Julie Cards. Of course you know that.”

I sipped my Coke, stayed quiet.

“Julie Cards’ real name is Julio Cardozo,” he said.

“I know that too.”

“Julie Cards is into all sorts of shady stuff.”

“And you’re not?” I countered.

“Point taken.”

Tony half turned toward me, spoke just above a whisper. “Rumor that the girl, Cheryl, Cherie, whoever she is? Went through all that mess with her crazy stepsister? You were down with that. Rumor she’s mixed up with Julie Cards.”

I sighed. It was inevitable that Cheryl’s name would eventually surface as connected with Julio Cardozo. “Do me a favor,” I asked. “Don’t pass it on about Cheryl Stern. She’s had enough bad mojo come her way.”

“Won’t say a word, dude. But way I heard, Cardozo’s her real father.”

I looked out across the skyline. “You know what that would mean, it becomes general knowledge?”

“A’course. Cardozo’s made enemies. Most gangs won’t touch a family member, but some don’t give a damn.”

“Which is why nobody needs to speculate further on that,” I said.

“Nobody’ll ever hear it from me, dude. You and I are tight. You know that, Mitch.”

“I know.”

“Maybe you wanna tell me how you’re connected?”

“You ask a lot of questions for a guy who’s so large.”

“I’m just a big curious kid, wants to know stuff.”

“I happened to be there when Cheryl needed somebody last year. Meierhoff was with me, too. You know all that. She phoned me last week, asked for help again.”

“What about?”

“Nobody,” I said. “Nobody knows this except the Perdon cousins, other insiders.”

“Lips sealed, dude.”

“Cardozo had a stroke, a bad one. He’s essentially paralyzed, can’t speak, nobody knows for certain whether he’s still there inside, or just an empty shell.”

“Jesus,” Tony said. “If word got out…”

I nodded. “A takeover war. Lots of blood.”

“So the Perdon boys are running things now?”

I shook my head. “Cheryl is. With their help, of course.”

“Christ. She’s what, twenty?”

“Eighteen actually. But she’s a natural leader. How and why I have zero idea. Of course, the Perdons are the organization and give orders to others. Cheryl’s stepped in, learned the ropes, making more and more decisions. She’s also taking the business legit.”

Tony chuckled. “Gangsta gal. Who woulda thunk it. And you’re what?”

“I’m nothing. Cheryl trusts me, so we talk occasionally.”

“And Julie Cards?”

“He just sits in a wheelchair next to her,” I said. “Sometimes he cries.”

----

[KateNox]

I always read dialogues out loud. Always. Because it may seem natural to you while you read it, and really fake when read out loud. So I try to check it by seeing if it really is like something people would say in real life.

[katiesquilts]

Of course you shouldn't have "he said/she said" after every other dialogue, but don't think that you have to completely abolish them. Readers will fly right over those words without taking anything in except who is talking. I recently called out an author in one of my reviews for struggling with the same problem. Rather than the simple "he said/she said" the author used gestures and generally put too much effort into the words coming after dialogue, rather than just simplifying or even leaving the dialogue by itself. A few words of dialogue taking up an entire line may look lonely to you, the writer, but if there are only two people talking in a back and forth, it's going to be obvious whose turn it is!

[moderntimes]

katie, you're mostly correct, but with even 2 characters only, occasionally it's good to add a "she said" -- but there are alternate ways to do this, as in my dialogue example above. You can have the paragraph:

Katie frowned. "I'm not sure I believe you."

Which is a good way to show the character's feelings as well as identify who's speaking.

And Kate, I agree. Reading dialogue out loud helps greatly in discerning whether it's "real" or not. This also aids in adjusting the rhythm of the words, so they sound as if they're coming from genuine dialogue, not a prepared speech.

I've always said that dialogue is the heartbeat of modern fiction. It's tricky to get right, but if you work hard, the rewards of seeing this on the page and thinking "I did pretty well there." are always pleasant.

[DarkestbeforeDawn]

That's a good technique! When the dialogue is tied to action, it is removed from the problem most commonly called "talking heads". However, there is nothing wrong with saying "he said", "she said" every now and then. But most importantly, the dialogue should always lead to something. There should be a development or progression of something.

[moderntimes]

You make a fine point, that the dialogue should lead to something.

This is essentially the case for ALL writing. I've read some books that were so full of fluff that I felt that the author was paid by the word and was padding. Of course this wasn't true but somehow the author felt that a long wordy narrative was "owed" to the reader, who'd bought a book and deserved lots of words for the money.

Nothing should be further from the truth. Not a single word should be there which is not needed. Look at Hemingway. His writing is almost sparse. Of course he learned this as a reporter (same paper in fact that I worked for, the KC Star).

The whole process of writing is to tell a story (this also applies to nonfiction). And for fiction, dialogue is the life blood of the novel. It's how we as readers fit ourselves into the whole process of the story being told, how we imagine being there in the mind of the character.

One of the best ways to test your dialogue is to read it aloud. It allows you to hear the rhythm and texture of the words, to imagine it's really something being spoken by real people. It has to feel natural. And of course it must be tailored for each specific character, that character's intelligence, education, style of speech, personality, and of course the emotions or motives driving that particular conversation.

It takes practice, like any good writing. But it's worth it when someone remarks that your characters sound real. That should be your objective. So polishing and tweaking is part of the job.

[CzechTigg]

This is something that will definitely take practice for me. Some of my own real life speech is a bit verbose, and it's hard to always right normal for the majority of people I bring to life on page.. A draft or two can help though.

[moderntimes]

I've posted similar advice before, which is this...

Being a good writer comes from 2 things. First you must have some innate talent and be reasonably bright. Let's face it. If you're gonna write terrific SF novel or romance or whatever, you kinda need to be a step up from the average reader who will buy that book. Not everyone can write a novel.

But that's just the start. Next is honing that talent and developing your skills, and the only way you can do this is via lots of hard work. First you must make yourself very literate and a terrific speller and someone who knows the language. Then you must read lots and lots of top quality books, with a particular focus on your selected genre. And third, you must write and rewrite and revise and revise again, and again, and again.

My novels were maybe re-read and revised and revamped a dozen times by me before I felt them suitable to submit for sale and publication. And I've found that I'm about average for a novelist. There are of course a handful of prodigies who can dash off a great chapter with little need for revision, like Mozart writing a piano sonata. But most of us are plodding and we have to revise and re-read and revise again till we're sick of reading our own words!

But the end result is a "product" about which we can be proud.

So yeah, it takes practice. Just take solace in that you're not alone. Every writer has to "practice" by writing and then revising and listening to an inner muse all the same.

Regarding being too verbose, it's okay if one or two of your characters is this way -- don't forget Polonius. But he was verbose in the wrong way. A puffed up character might speak that way, much to the irritation of other characters. Or, another character might be verbose but speak superbly.

However, what you MUST do is find a "voice" for each character. Some use longer words and sentences, as may reflect a deep formal education. Some may be "street smart" and speak succinctly yet well. Some may be uneducated and butcher the language. And so on.

One tip: Don't overuse slang or profanity, unless maybe the characters are highly angry and arguing, prefatory to a fight. Don't be reticent to use the f-word if you need to. Never use euphemisms in place of the "real" word, unless of course you're writing for kids, and then temper the whole dialogue so it's suitable for their age.

Another tip: Totally avoid trying to write dialogue where someone speaks brogue. If for example, someone has a thick Irish or Scots accent, or German, whatever, just say "Martin spoke with a thick accent" and then only use a very few actual brogue words. Trying to write in dialect is 19th century. I read & reviewed a recent novel from a writer whom I know, and in the story, there's this police homicide investigator, an African-American woman. Well, she "spoke" using the most egregious and ridiculous "ghetto-speak" (Ebonics to the max) every sentence, the whole damn novel. Now any homicide cop has a college degree or equivalent and is pretty smart. It was demeaning to hear this character. Now, if for a joke, she'd used "Ebonics" to tease her partners, that would have been fine. But every word was the worst "ghetto-speak" you could imagine. Nobody speaks that way. Point being, don't make your characters deliberately speak phrases which are too accented. Give the accent a very light touch. "Carlos spoke with a thick Hispanic accent but I understood every word, and he was angry." is enough

[giorgiads88]

Stephen King's 'On writing' has a great section of dialogue. Check it out x

[moderntimes]

Agree. King's "On Writing" is a must for all would be authors.

[aparsons]

This is super informative for me. I have been struggling with writing my dialogue for my students, and finding their different voices. I role play on the weekend, and I have to come up with different characters, and it's really hard for me. I don't want to be that author that can't write men's internal motivations, etc. How do you write a character that is totally alien to your own personality? If I literally don't know something, how could I write it?

[moderntimes]

Good question. What I do is imagine that I'm a real person listening to a real person on a rant or whatever. I try to "take dictation" and not force words into the mouth of the speaker.

Writing good dialogue is tricky. You have to put yourself into the mindset of the speaker, and try to appreciate where that person is coming from. There's no magic formula for this -- you have to do 2 things, really. First, read books where the characters seem to speak from their souls and aren't artificially "making speeches" all the time. Study this carefully, and emulate the way that author does it.

And then, write your own dialogue, and read it aloud to yourself. When you read dialogue aloud, you are focusing on a slightly different area of the brain from if you read the dialogue silently. Speaking the actual words forms a rhythm and pattern of speech. I don't exactly know why, but it works for me. And I've had a couple of serious major mystery writers who have told me that my dialogue is excellent. So maybe I got lucky? I dunno.

Use short sentences. Thing about how you and other speak with one another -- nobody makes long paragraphs of speech. We get interrupted and that's fine. Dialogue goes back and forth between the speakers.

Don't "force" a character to speak in -- mmm -- ghetto speak or slang or seriously bad grammar. Even uneducated people, except maybe a very few, speak in reasonable tones and don't affect dialect or goofy styles. Be very sparing in adding "street slang" or similar bad speech. A little goes a long way.

For example, one of my characters is an older, street smart captain of homicide. His formal education is modest, and so he'll often say something like "Phone me or David if you hear anything." -- a slightly wrong grammar but perfectly understandable. But generally he speaks very good common English.

Now my private eye and his best pal detective Meierhoff are both highly educated and always use "proper" grammar. Each to his own.

As to how can you write dialogue for a weird character or someone who is totally different from you? Role playing may help. Or, imagine you're an actor who's playing the part of the oddball character and the actor is one of those who "gets into character" (the Stanislavsky method) and assumes the personality of the character.

These are tricks you can use. It's not easy at first -- we learn by doing -- but if you make an effort, and revise your dialogue, reading to yourself aloud -- or maybe reading aloud to a friend -- you can detect false rhythms which don't "sound right" and fix them.

It's an ongoing process. This is ESSENTIAL -- too many newbie writers here talk themselves into a hole because they think that the first thing they write has to be great and perfect, otherwise why try? But the cold facts are the opposite -- ALL writers start out low grade and develop their techniques and skill and move forward. Writing helps you write better. Not writing and you never make progress.

So just write the dialogue and see how it works. Post it here and we'll be happy to help critique. You will get better, I promise.