Write about suffering?

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zeldas_lullaby
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Write about suffering?

Post by zeldas_lullaby »

This question is inspired by the recent books to show up in the official review section. I've noticed a theme.

What validity is there (if any) in simply writing about what you've suffered? I don't want to sound flippant about the issues that have been written about lately (rape, domestic violence, grief, etc.), but does writing about something like that without adding anything to it (humor, resources, suggestions for prevention or avoidance, insight/personal growth, a fictional account that makes it interesting, suspenseful narrative, etc.) really achieve anything?

I'm wondering why there seems to be a trend toward self-publishing personal accounts of what the author has suffered? I say, make it a story or make it interesting or make it relevant, etc. But don't just tell it!

What do you all think about this? Is there any inherent value in someone's purely writing their bad experience? I'm of the mindset that we've likely all suffered something bad at some point (maybe more, maybe less). There were times, I'm sure, when I was younger that I would've wanted to scream at the world all that I've suffered, but there was no self-publishing back then. No Internet, either. (Gee, I really have suffered... how did anyone get by before Internet?)

Any thoughts on this?
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Post by beebee216 »

This post reminds me of one of my favorite Joss Whedon quotes. He says "Make it dark, Make it grim, Make it tough, but then, for the love of God, tell a joke." It's all too easy for someone to write an entire story about their sufferings, or the pain their life has been. But I find it much more encouraging to read these when you see personal growth from them. When they show, they found happiness despite the pain. When they are able to crack a joke in the middle of it all. To show they aren't just a martyr looking for sympathy. I'm not trying to sound heartless here, it's just that books aren't a diary. You need to have more than just "woe is me" to make it stick. We've all suffered in our lives. We will all continue to suffer. Especially when the Internet is down ;)
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zeldas_lullaby
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Post by zeldas_lullaby »

HA HA HA. No kidding about the Internet. I lost it once during an ice storm. Others in my city lost their heat, but there I was without Internet... :roll:

I completely agree--I like to see personal growth.

I was thinking about the Rabbit books by John Updike--I had to read the last one, Rabbit at Rest, for college. The whole point of the books was that stuff happened to this guy, and he flat-out refused to process it, to grow from it, to incorporate it into himself, etc.

But that's what the author was going for, which made it brilliant.

That's a far cry, though, from the martyr looking for sympathy, as you put it.

Thanks for commenting!
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Post by KS Crooks »

I'm a little unsure what you mean. Are people trying to pass personal stories off as a fiction story or is it that many people are writing autobiographies. If it is the latter then a think all the power to them. Writing is on of the best things a person can do for their own mental health and create a way for them to let go of past events an move on with their life in a positive manner. For myself it would have to be an extraordinary story, like that of the Cleveland kidnapping victims or a WWII survivor.
If it is the former, then people need to do a better job of disguising their story. I agree there needs to be lighter moments mixed into the darkness, as well as some other aspects to keep the story from being a huge bout of depression for the reader. I would compare it to a musician who creates an album and all the songs are about their failed relationships. If there isn't anything uplifting is become very difficult to listen.
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Post by zeldas_lullaby »

Yeah, it's the latter--that a lot of people are writing autobiographies, and that a lot of them do seem depressing without any sort of redemptive qualities--a happy ending, insight, etc.

Your comparison at the end is kind of what I'm getting at. Who was that famous pop singer who wrote a whole album trying to get his wife back, and it backfired on him majorly? That was like, a year ago?

No, I'm not against fictionalizing. I think I have some sort of confusion about memoirs in general. I don't understand why people publicize their issues in a book, in a way that makes them seem like either a victim or a whiner.

Like take this book:

http://forums.onlinebookclub.org/viewto ... 24&t=24620

Does it really serve a purpose to anyone other than the author? Does it really offer any meaningful insight? It seems that there are many similar books lately. And I'm just stumped as to what purpose they serve to people in general. (Feel free to enlighten me as to their purpose. I may just have some sort of mental block regarding memoirs.)
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Post by gali »

I agree with you. Some memoirs are private and aim at specific audience (aka family). As such they should not be published since they may not hold any interest for the wide public, nor do they offer anything significant.
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zeldas_lullaby
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Post by zeldas_lullaby »

gali wrote:I agree with you. Some memoirs are private and aim at specific audience (aka family). As such they should not be published since they may not hold any interest for the wide public, nor do they offer anything significant.
THANK YOU!!! Yes, that's what I've been saying!!!

I appreciate your post. I've been sitting here afraid that I alienated everyone. :o
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Post by DATo »

Some people write of their suffering as a means to catharsis. In your original post you said, There were times, I'm sure, when I was younger that I would've wanted to scream at the world all that I've suffered .... So do a lot of other people, the difference is that they actually do scream to the world through their writing. It is a way to have a group counseling session without a moderator. In fact, that's a pretty good analogy. One of the purposes for a group counseling session is to allow the speakers to purge their inner demons to an attentive audience which can relate through their own experiences.

Abraham Lincoln often wrote scathing letters to people he was angry with. After he had written them and purged himself of all the things he had to say regarding that which made him angry he quietly burned the letters without sending them. Simply writing the letter had fulfilled the intended purpose of spilling his guts and settling his nerves with regard to the matter at hand.
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Post by zeldas_lullaby »

DATo wrote:Some people write of their suffering as a means to catharsis. In your original post you said, There were times, I'm sure, when I was younger that I would've wanted to scream at the world all that I've suffered .... So do a lot of other people, the difference is that they actually do scream to the world through their writing. It is a way to have a group counseling session without a moderator. In fact, that's a pretty good analogy. One of the purposes for a group counseling session is to allow the speakers to purge their inner demons to an attentive audience which can relate through their own experiences.

Abraham Lincoln often wrote scathing letters to people he was angry with. After he had written them and purged himself of all the things he had to say regarding that which made him angry he quietly burned the letters without sending them. Simply writing the letter had fulfilled the intended purpose of spilling his guts and settling his nerves with regard to the matter at hand.
Really? Abraham Lincoln is my dad's idol. My dad's a self-employed discrimination lawyer who could very well be Lincoln reincarnated. We're talking, Abraham Lincoln busts in his downstairs office, etc. I got angry and destroyed his expensive metal bust (this was years ago), and he freakin' fixed it with duct tape! (Fathers!) So we have an Abraham Lincoln severed head atop a podium stand. Of course, I bought him a new one, but he can't bear to part with the floating head one, much to my eternal guilt.

That is a good analogy! I am questioning the validity of writing such things and 1) delivering them to the intended recipient, 2) burning them ala Lincoln, and/or 3) self-publishing it!! Abraham Lincoln was a pillar of morality and would never have chosen #3.

I'm all for catharsis, but I think if you publish it without its being rife with insight, then you're whining to the biggest audience possible--the world. (If it sounds like I'm contradicting myself, I should reiterate that I'm confused about the place of memoirs in modern society.)
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Post by Wizzy56 »

Very interesting topic for discussion. I can relate since I wrote a memoir (Pieces Of My Path) where I gave much thought to what you mentioned. First of all I wrote the memoir more for myself and family and friends than for the masses. I did struggle with the length of the book (720 pages) because I felt the need to include ALL of the journals that I wrote during the period of my life that I wrote about. Of course the journals had no spiced up colorful creative writing segments- it was all bland as it happened, which had to be included to completely explain my life back then. The first half of my book were segments of my past taken strictly from memory and for that I did use "creative license" to spice the story up a bit. To your point and what is interesting is when I get feed back on the book people usually respond by saying that they loved the book "so far", which indicates they were still in the first half but I have very little comment about the 2nd half.

As to the reason why I wrote POMP? Again it was mainly for my own reasons so that I had a complete whole record of that time in my past (Instead of looking through over 30 3X5 note pads). I did realize that some might find value in my struggles if they felt the need to read it so I released it to Amazon. But you make a good point. If I were to re-write the book I would consider writing the 2nd half as i did the 1rst half.

Hope this helps....and answers your questions.
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Post by zeldas_lullaby »

Huh. Thank you for commenting!

720 pages?? Wowz. That is a long memoir!! OK, so the first half you wrote from memory, and you had to take fictional license because no one's memory is really that clear? And then the second half was all the journals and notes that you created?

Yeah, I'd have to agree that the first half sounds better. I don't think anyone can really remember everything with the kind of clarity to tell their life story verbatim, so there does have to be some artistic license when recapturing distant memories. But then the problem does become that if you put in everything that you've documented, it can become tedious.

I'd say you've got over 700 pages! Take out all the repetitious stuff, yeah, and narrate it! You've certainly got plenty of material.

Hm... I get what you're saying about making a record. When I was younger I had a whole shelf of diaries. I still have them, I just don't write in them. The problem I found with recording everything was that it quickly sent me into a tailspin, because everything in them is heart-wrenchingly depressing. I was so horrified by all that I put in diary #7 that I ultimately shredded it. It makes me wonder, though, where the desire to record everything comes from. I had that desire, you had it, but now I just blanche at the possibility that there might be a higher power recording every moment.

Well, I'm glad we've got such an interesting discussion going about this!
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