3 out of 4 stars
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Imagine going about your life normally, and then one day, everything cracks. You literally go crazy, falling into a psychosis that completely changes how you understand life. Can you recover? And if so, how? Shannon Love experiences all this and more as she chronicles her bouts with a psychological disorder in the non fiction memoir, Twisting My Kaleidoscope.
When we first meet Shannon, she is a relatively happy mother and wife, who is undergoing a routine physical evaluation. Charles (her husband’s pseudonym) works for Avant-Garde Alloy Services, and his work has brought the family (Shannon, Charles, and their three children) to Beijing. The company keeps a close eye on its employees and their families to make sure they are healthy. When Shannon’s test results come back, everything is fine except her ECG reading. This is the beginning of her first downward spiral. As she continues to see doctors about the ECG, her stress mounts. This, combined with her struggles with family back in America and indecisiveness about religion, leads to a mental break. During this first major episode, she shows signs of increasing paranoia. Then the voices begin. The first voice is an amenable companion, and she names him Valentino. He gives her gentle guidance but is responsive and understanding of her needs. However, as Shannon falls deeper into psychosis, Valentino gets stronger, urging her to divorce her husband, and telling her that the world wants her to be the new Jesus. He is also joined by other, more malicious voices. Eventually, Shannon is hospitalized for her condition. After spending some time dealing with her issues, the paranoia, hallucinations, and delusions subside, and she goes back to being a loving mother and wife. However, after a move back to the United States and ups and downs with medications, Shannon slowly begins to show more signs of falling back into her psychotic state. The rest of the book takes you through her slow descent into and rise out of another episode.
Shannon Love's memoir takes the reader on a mental roller coaster, and it truly gives you insight into what it is like to lose your mind. The author patches together moments from her life, describing how she was feeling and some of the experiences of those around her. She also adds in journal entries she wrote along the way to help keep her mind focused. Each chapter begins with a piece of art she created as part of her therapy. These pieces reflect Shannon’s state of mind throughout her experience.
The author speaks heavily in metaphor. She became so used to writing in metaphors under psychosis that she continued to do so as she wove her memories together to create this book. At times, this technique makes for a confusing read, often losing track of the narrative. For example, in chapter one, instead of just saying she has three brothers, the author says, “Recognizing a need to expand our social network, Mom and Dad dipped their hands into Mother Nature’s clay and molded two more playmates for my brother and me.” The writing also feels scattered. The journal entries are sometimes presented without context, making the reader question why the author chose to present particular entries in the book. Much of the book skips back and forth between particular moments. Each moment is separated by a small graphic, so it helps to visually break up the book. However, the hopping around interrupts the flow of the story overall.
I rate this book 3 out of 4 stars. The book is well written, and I did not see errors in mechanics such as grammar, spelling, and punctuation. The author’s experience is quite unique, and she does a good job of relaying her story. The main drawback for me was the heavy reliance on metaphorical speech. I thought it was distracting and confusing at times. Overall, this was an interesting memoir that really lets you experience something truly inexplicable. I would recommend Twisting My Kaleidoscope to people who enjoy memoirs, especially those that discuss mental disorders. Fans of Oliver Sacks, Jeannette Walls, and John Elder Robison will want to give this one a try.
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Twisting My Kaleidoscope
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