3 out of 4 stars
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In Learning to Float: Memoir of a Caregiver-Husband, author Allan Ament gives a transparent and thought-provoking account of his experience caring for his wife, Deloris, in the years after she suffers a stroke. In this narrative supplemented with select personal emails he wrote during those years, Ament describes his “pre-stroke” profession as a lawyer and his relationship with Deloris, a brilliant journalist, and how their “post-stroke” lives are changed.In late 2005, I was a loving partner and spouse, a rational and analytical professional, and a socially active extrovert. This was good, but it wasn’t going to be enough.
In this introspective and intimate story, Ament conveys his journey in a progression that is focused, engaging, and, on the whole, simple to follow both logically and emotionally. He shares his struggle with the idea of asking others for help and illustrates the compassion his friends and neighbors extend to him and his wife during the “post-stroke” challenges and uncertainties they face. Especially compelling are Ament’s honest admissions about battling with his anger through all of this and the lessons he learns while doing so. He lets the reader in on moments with his wife that range from humorous to trying to touching, including the poignant story of their seventeenth wedding anniversary, which, I must say, put tears in this particular reader’s eyes.
Now, when an author intentionally repeats information over again for emphasis, a phrase like, “As I mentioned before” makes the intentionality clear so that the material does not seem merely repetitive. However, there are places in this memoir where the author relates the same information in a way that appears unintentional. For instance, a section in the Preface explains how sending daily emails to family and friends about his wife’s condition became Ament’s personal journaling that led to this book. Though the wording is a bit different, the same explanation of that process and his motivation for it is repeated in Chapter Seven.
Also, where some of the final portions of the book are concerned, the order is a little awkward. The Epilogue is followed by another closing section, the author’s Guidelines for Floating. That section is then followed by one more email. Thus, the memoir seems to have more than one conclusion. It may be preferable to ensure that important closing thoughts are mentioned either before or within an “epilogue,” as the very word signals to a reader that he or she has reached the end. The reader may naturally be on his or her way to mentally “checking out” of a book after receiving that ending signal, and so the impact of any facts or ideas included after that point may be lessened.
Overall, I give Learning to Float a rating of 3 out of 4 stars. Its minor flaws aside, it’s a well thought-out and inspiring narrative written in an intelligently detailed yet accessible style. I’d recommend this book to memoir enthusiasts as well as to any reader looking for an account that addresses learning and growing through life’s unexpected challenges.
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Learning to Float
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