4 out of 4 stars
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Who Am I? How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go and Live Again by Megan Cyrulewski is the non-fiction account of one woman’s experience dealing with anxiety disorder, post-partum depression, an emotionally abusive relationship with a narcissist, and a drawn-out custody battle. Told through the eyes of the author, this book provides a very factual account of the prominent events of her life, with very little subjective input.
The book begins with the story of how Megan met the man she married and how their relationship didn’t get off to the best start. Already suffering from panic attacks and anxiety disorder, her new relationship with narcissistic Tyler only decreased her feeling of self worth. However, being in love, she didn’t realize the toxicity of the relationship at the time. After their marriage, things only went downhill, with mountains of Tyler’s debt suddenly Megan’s responsibility. With the fortunate help from Megan’s parents, they were able to get back on their feet, and Megan was finally able to enter law school.
Then Megan got pregnant, and the situation worsened. Tyler wanted a baby at first, but his family’s lack of acceptance of his being a parent suddenly changed his attitude. When baby Madelyne was born, Tyler further distanced himself from both his wife and daughter, and he even began advising his friends to never have children. Suffering from post-partum depression, Megan ended up in a psychiatric facility, which helped her see that she needed to protect her daughter and escape from her abusive marriage. Following her divorce, Megan’s life began to revolve around nothing more than court cases as she fought to keep her daughter safe from the man who had caused her so much pain.
I couldn’t put this book down. I was drawn to it from the moment I read the description, having personally experienced similar events in my own life, and reading about Megan’s experience was one of the greatest things I have ever done. Other reviews of this book have stated that there is no “woe is me” or “I’m the victim” feel to this tale, and those reviews are absolutely accurate. A few times I wanted to question if Tyler’s behavior was really as bad as she made it out to be, but Megan didn’t omit her own faults and mistakes in her telling of the story. It’s easy to see how these are real people and real experiences. The story is powerful, emotional, and heart-wrenching. I could easily feel Megan’s frustration as she dealt with Tyler’s non-stop, nonsensical behavior, and her patience and strength should be commemorated.
I absolutely loved everything about this book, and I can’t think of anything negative to say about it. If I had to offer any constructive criticism, it would be that I would like to see three things added to this book. First, I wish there had been more about Megan’s personal feelings while dealing with anxiety disorder and post-partum depression. While I can personally relate to this, others who have no experience might not see the strength and courage it takes to seek help when you feel like your own mind is betraying you. Second, I would like to have seen more about Madelyne within the story. There is a great description of her at the end of the book, but I wish I could have known more about her development as the other events were taking place. Third, and most importantly, I wish there had been a warning on this book to let me know just how emotional this story really is. People who deal with anxiety disorders should be aware that the events told in this book might trigger their own panic attacks. I mention this last one as a means to further compliment the excellent way the book is written.
As it is, I give Who Am I? How My Daughter Taught Me to Let Go and Live Again by Megan Cyrulewski an overall rating of 4 out of 4 stars. I would highly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys non-fiction, or to anyone who has had any experience in dealing with any of the problems that Megan had to face.
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