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The author of the book, along with her husband, spent twelve years as foster parents to teens. During this time, almost 400 teenagers spent time in the Levine home. As a social worker, she has had many jobs: therapist, mental health consultant, supervisor at a child welfare agency, director of the Social Service Department of a women's hospital, director of group homes, and manager of a children's mental health crisis program. If your kid is in trouble, she is the person to turn to. She has a wealth of knowledge to share in this book.
The down side to all of Levine's experience is that it appears to have left her a bit jaded. She spent so much time around troubled kids that she came to think of them and their behavior as normal. I found that I could not relate to most of her examples because they were so extreme. This also spilled over into her ideas of what is normal. She seemed to think that all teens make stupid decisions that will change the course of their lives. I have teens, and sure, they have made and will continue to make bad decisions, but nothing like what Levine seems to think that all kids do. It is an insult to good teens to assume that all kids will do crazy stupid things.
In this book Levine covers a lot of ground. There is an introduction chapter where she tells us about her background and why we should be worried about our good kids. She then spends a chapter explaining the difference between "good kids" and "bad kids." This is an important distinction to make and I think that she does a good job explaining how to tell the difference.
The third chapter talks about "The Gotcha Wars." While the examples in this chapter were more extreme than anything I have dealt with in my home, I could relate to the way teenagers sometimes bait their parents into a fight. Levine explains why kids do this, when to worry, and what to do about it.
The book then moves on to the the issues that kids face. There are chapters on tattoos and body piercing, friends, homework and grades, lying, risky behavior, sex, running away, being arrested, substance abuse, and depression. These chapters really made me see just how good my kids are. None of the things that my kids and I struggle with even made the list. This really did help to put things in perspective for me.
The next two chapters are the heart of the book. Levine explains her Caring Response and then the Caring Intervention. In the Caring Response chapter she explains in six steps how to respond to your teenager. The steps make a lot of sense and I can see them being very helpful. The Caring Intervention is what you do when your kid needs professional help, but doesn't want it. She shows you, step by step, how to convince your teenager to get help.
The last two chapters are about how to find professional help and how to take care of yourself. The book ends with several lists of resources at the back of the book: hot-lines and websites where you can get more information.
Throughout the book, Levine tells many stories about kids she has worked with. The stories are composites, so the privacy of no child is violated, but the stories are mostly real. The advice that she gives to the children clearly shows her pro-choice bias, and when it comes to sex she believes that as long as it is "good," it is fine for teenagers. Whiles she tries to make concessions for people who don't agree with her, it is clear what she thinks. If you have different views, you might find a different book more helpful.
Levine is now in her seventies, and it was many years ago that she worked face to face with troubled kids. While the advice she gives is still pertinent, there are many current issues that are not mentioned. I found it interesting that in the chapter on homework and grades, homeschooling is never mentioned. It probably wasn't even legal when Levine's biological children were of school age. Cyber bullying and other internet issues are also not mentioned. While this book was updated recently, in some ways it feels like an old book.
I give this book 3 out of 4 stars. There were a few minor grammar mistakes, but the main reason for only giving it 3 stars is the extreme examples and the overwhelming attitude that all kids will act like this. For parents of kids who are in serious trouble, get this book. It will help.
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Buy "When Good Kids Do Bad Things: A Survival Guide for Parents" on Amazon
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